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Today’s Quick Break: February 6, 2010:
Funny English
Today’s Funny Sign
Today’s Newspaper Fail
Did They Say It?
Today’s InnocentEnglish Classics:
Funny Pis and Vids
Pic of the Day:
Today’s Cute Shot #1:
Today’s Cute Shot #2:
Today’s Funny Song from Songdrops.com:
Funny Jokes, Quotes and Lines
Today’s Funny Sayings
Today’s Stupid Questions:
~ If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?
~ OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
Today’s Stand Up Comedy Quote:
~ For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have. — Woody Allen
~ When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it’s not, mmmmmmm, boy. — Jack Handy
Today’s Pick Up Lines: (Use at your own risk!)
~ Are you an alarm clock because you opened my eyes.
~ If God made anything more pretty, I’m sure he’d keep it for himself.
Today’s Puns:
~ A zoo had too many panda bears, so they built a pandemonium.
~ Old power plant workers never die they just de-generate.
Today’s Funny Southern Expressions:
~ Duller than a bag of hammers.
~ She was so ugly when she was born, her Momma used to borrow a baby to take to church on Sunday.
Today’s Jokes
~ This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What’s WRONG with me, Doctor!?”
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: “Well, I can tell you that there ain’t nothing wrong with your eyesight….”
~ TODAY’S DAILY STOCK MARKET REPORT: Helium was up. Feathers were down. Paper was stationary. Knives were up sharply. Pencils lost a few points. Hiking equipment was trailing. Elevators rose, while escalators continued a slow decline. Light switches were off. Mining equipment hit rock bottom. Diapers remained unchanged. Shipping lines stayed at an even keel. Balloon prices were inflated. Oil continued it’s slippery slide. And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market.
Today’s Word Games
Today’s Texting Abbreviation Quiz:
Today’s Riddle:
Today’s Crossword Puzzle:
Today’s Sudoku Puzzle:
Today’s Hangman:
Back Page
Today’s Random Flash Games from the InnocentEnglish Arcade (Shortcut: LOL22.com)
Today’s Dilbert. Here’s your daily dose of Dilbert:
Celebrity Birthdays:
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Section: Quick Break
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