A short funny song: I Got a Pea

And here's the CATCHIEST ONE MINUTE SONG You will hear today.

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Today’s Quick Break: February 6, 2010:

Funny English

Today’s Funny Sign

Today’s Newspaper Fail

Did They Say It?

~ Did Baseball player Johnny Bench actually say “I was thinking about making a comeback, until I pulled a muscle vacuuming.” Yes.

~ Did Paris Hilton actually say “Ever since I got out of prison I’ve really connected with Johnny Cashes songs. He really captured the spirit of what it’s like on the inside. He was like one of us.” No.

Today’s InnocentEnglish Classics:

Funny Kids’ Bible Mistakes:
~ Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.
~ The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments.
~ The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
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Funny Pis and Vids

Pic of the Day:

Today’s Cute Shot #1:

Today’s Cute Shot #2:

Today’s Funny Song from Songdrops.com:

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Funny Jokes, Quotes and Lines

Today’s Funny Sayings

~ A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

~ Which is worse: Ignorance or apathy? Who knows? Who cares?

Today’s Stupid Questions:

~ If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?

~ OK, so what’s the speed of dark?

Today’s Stand Up Comedy Quote:

~ For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have. — Woody Allen

~ When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it’s not, mmmmmmm, boy. — Jack Handy

Today’s Pick Up Lines: (Use at your own risk!)

~ Are you an alarm clock because you opened my eyes.

~ If God made anything more pretty, I’m sure he’d keep it for himself.

Today’s Puns:

~ A zoo had too many panda bears, so they built a pandemonium.

~ Old power plant workers never die they just de-generate.

Today’s Funny Southern Expressions:

~ Duller than a bag of hammers.

~ She was so ugly when she was born, her Momma used to borrow a baby to take to church on Sunday.

Today’s Jokes

~ This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What’s WRONG with me, Doctor!?”
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: “Well, I can tell you that there ain’t nothing wrong with your eyesight….”

~ TODAY’S DAILY STOCK MARKET REPORT: Helium was up. Feathers were down. Paper was stationary. Knives were up sharply. Pencils lost a few points. Hiking equipment was trailing. Elevators rose, while escalators continued a slow decline. Light switches were off. Mining equipment hit rock bottom. Diapers remained unchanged. Shipping lines stayed at an even keel. Balloon prices were inflated. Oil continued it’s slippery slide. And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market.

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Today’s Word Games

Today’s Texting Abbreviation Quiz:

What does BFFL mean?
Best friends for life
What does DOE mean?
Daughter of Eve
What does ETA mean?
Estimated time (of) arrival

Today’s Riddle:

In The Ocean:
What won’t break if you throw it off the highest building in the world, but will break if you place it in the ocean?
A tissue.

Today’s Crossword Puzzle:

Today’s Sudoku Puzzle:

Today’s Hangman:

More Daily Word Games
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Back Page

Today’s Random Flash Games from the InnocentEnglish Arcade (Shortcut: LOL22.com)

Sussy Pumpkin Dress Up
Help the sexy Sussy choosing her witch costume for this halloween night! Make her look terrificaly beautiful and horrifically amazing!


Aston Martin Jigsaw Puzzle
32 Piece Jigsaw Puzzle of Aston Martin


Tiger Slider Puzzle Game
Great sliding puzzle game with a picture of the beautiful Bengal Tiger. Slide the pieces into the empty spaces to create the picture. Choose your difficulty on the top.


Today’s Dilbert. Here’s your daily dose of Dilbert:

Celebrity Birthdays:

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