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Today’s Quick Break: February 3, 2010:
Funny English
Today’s Funny Sign
Today’s Newspaper Fail
Did They Say It?
Today’s InnocentEnglish Classics:
Funny Pis and Vids
Pic of the Day:
Today’s Cute Shot #1:
Today’s Cute Shot #2:
Today’s Funny Song from Songdrops.com:
Funny Jokes, Quotes and Lines
Today’s Funny Sayings
Today’s Stupid Questions:
~ If you buried your lava lamp, would it become a magma lamp?
~ Why is a boxing ring square?
Today’s Stand Up Comedy Quote:
~ 94.5% of all statistics are made up. — Woody Allen
~ I got a letter from the IRS. Apparently I owe them $800. So I sent them a letter back. I said, If you’ll remember, I fastened my return with a paper clip, which according to your very own latest government pentagon spending figures will more than make up for the difference. — Emo Philips
Today’s Pick Up Lines: (Use at your own risk!)
~ Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
~ Hi, I’m Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
Today’s Puns:
~ Waiters are good at multiplication because they know their tables.
~ To which the dentist replied…
Today’s Funny Southern Expressions:
~ Don’t insult the alligator before you cross the stream
~ Scarce as hen’s teeth
Today’s Jokes
~ There were these 2 blondes standing outside in a parking lot next to there Mercedes vehicle. They were locked out so they were trying to get the door open with a close hanger. The 1st blonde said, “You need to try harder. It’s starting to rain and the top is down!”
~ Dick Cheney’s personal chef died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St.Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, “What are all those clocks?”
St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.”
“Oh,” said the senator, “whose clock is that?” “That’s Mother Teresa’s. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.” “Incredible,” said Rumsfeld. “And whose clock is that one?” St. Peter responded, “That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.”
“Hey, out of curiosity, where’s Dick Cheney’s clock?” asked the chef.
“Cheney’s clock is in Jesus’ office. He’s using it as a ceiling fan.”
Today’s Word Games
Today’s Texting Abbreviation Quiz:
Today’s Riddle:
Today’s Crossword Puzzle:
Today’s Sudoku Puzzle:
Today’s Hangman:
Back Page
Today’s Random Flash Games from the InnocentEnglish Arcade (Shortcut: LOL22.com)
Today’s Dilbert. Here’s your daily dose of Dilbert:
Celebrity Birthdays:
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Section: Quick Break
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