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Today’s Quick Break: February 1, 2010:
Funny English
Today’s Funny Sign
Today’s Newspaper Fail
Did They Say It?
Today’s InnocentEnglish Classics:
Funny Pis and Vids
Pic of the Day:
Today’s Cute Shot #1:
Today’s Cute Shot #2:
Today’s Funny Song from Songdrops.com:
Funny Jokes, Quotes and Lines
Today’s Funny Sayings
Today’s Stupid Questions:
~ What happened to the first 6 UP’s?
~ Are there any unguided missiles?
Today’s Stand Up Comedy Quote:
~ I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don’t know I’m only using blanks. — Emo Philips
~ If I was a locksmith, I’d be pimping that out man. I’ll trade you a free key duplication for… That joke made me laugh before I could finish it, which is good, because it had no ending. — Mitch Hedberg
Today’s Pick Up Lines: (Use at your own risk!)
~ That’s a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
~ Is your shirt felt? Do u want it to be?
Today’s Puns:
~ Some people don’t have the Vegas idea of how to quit gambling.
~ “Why chrome?” asked the patient.
Today’s Funny Southern Expressions:
~ Want in one hand, spit in the other and see which fills up first
~ He’s so skinny, his pants had only one back pocket
Today’s Jokes
~ A man goes skydiving. After a fantastic free fall he pulls the rip cord to open his parachute but nothing happens. He tries everything but can’t get it open.
Just then another man flies by him, going UP. The skydiver yells, “Hey, you know anything about parachutes? The man replies, “No, you know anything about gas stoves?
~ There’s this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery.
One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, “if I hear one more person confess to adultery, I’ll quit!” Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word.
Someone who had committed adultery would say they had “fallen”. This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at a ripe old age.
About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the Mayor of the town and seemed very concerned. The priest said, “you have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen.”
The Mayor started to laugh, realizing that no-one had told the new priest about the code word.
Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the mayor and said,
“I don’t know what you’re laughing about.
Your wife fell three times this week.”
Today’s Word Games
Today’s Texting Abbreviation Quiz:
Today’s Riddle:
Today’s Crossword Puzzle:
Today’s Sudoku Puzzle:
Today’s Hangman:
Back Page
Today’s Random Flash Games from the InnocentEnglish Arcade (Shortcut: LOL22.com)
Everybody is enjoying the snow.
Play with cow and carabao by firing them with snow.
Today’s Dilbert. Here’s your daily dose of Dilbert:
Celebrity Birthdays:
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Section: Quick Break
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