Innocent English

<< Today's Quick Break: August 31, 2010:  |   Today's Quick Break: August 29, 2010: >>

Today’s Quick Break: August 30, 2010:

Today’s Funny Pics

Today’s Funny Sign

Today’s Newspaper Fail

Pic of the Day:

Today’s Cute Shot #1:

Today’s Cute Shot #2:

Comments
← Newer Quick Break | Older Quick Break →

Funny English

Today’s Texting Abbreviation Quiz:

What does TYT mean?
Take your time
What does PROGGY mean?
Meaning computer program
What does THNQ mean?
Thank-you (SMS)

Today’s Riddle:

Out Of Sight?:
Always invisible, yet never out of sight. What are they?
The letters I & S.

Did They Say It?

~ Did Miss Alabama, 1994 actually say “I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.” No.

~ Did George W. Bush actually say “I am mindful not only of preserving executive powers for myself, but for predecessors as well.” Yes.

Today’s InnocentEnglish Classics:

Funny Doctor Chart Bloopers:
~ The patient has no past history of suicides.
~ Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
~ Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
Comments
← Newer Quick Break | Older Quick Break →

Funny Jokes, Quotes and Lines

Today’s Funny Sayings

~ Earth first…we’ll mine the other planets later.

~ Most people don’t act stupid – it’s the real thing.

Today’s Stupid Questions:

~ If “con” is the opposite of “pro”, is “Congress” the opposite of “progress”?

~ If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth?

Today’s Stand Up Comedy Quote:

~ Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure? — Peter Kay

~ I’m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch. — Woody Allen

Today’s Pick Up Lines: (Use at your own risk!)

~ Did you just fart?? …Because you blew me away!

~ hey I know u, you are the person with a beautiful smile!

Today’s Puns:

~ If you play around with a guillotine, you’ll beheaded for an accident.

~ A baker’s job is a piece of cake.

Today’s Funny Southern Expressions:

~ It’s hotter than a hootenanny.

~ He lives so far back in the country, he thinks a VOLVO is a woman’s body part.

Today’s Jokes

~ When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. “Good heavens,” he said, “what is this?” “Why, it’s bean soup,” she replied. “I don’t care what it has been,” he sputtered. “What is it now?”

~ A blonde was walking her dogs when a man walking in the opposite direction says “Oh my, you have such beautiful dogs. What are their names?”
The blonde replies “Well, the taller one is Timex and the shorter one is Rolex.”
The man responds “Huh, that’s interesting. Why did you name them such names?”
The blonde sighs and shakes her head “Everyone keeps asking me the same thing… duhh, what else would you name your watch dogs?”

Comments
← Newer Quick Break | Older Quick Break →

Today’s Word Games

Today’s Crossword, Sukoku and Hangman:

Today’s Crossword Puzzle

Today’s Sudoku Puzzle

Today’s Hangman and other wordgames


Comments
← Newer Quick Break | Older Quick Break →

<< Today's Quick Break: August 31, 2010:  |   Today's Quick Break: August 29, 2010: >>

Comments

COMMENT (Not all comments are approved, including rude comments and those with strong language).

Section: Quick Break

<< Today's Quick Break: August 31, 2010:  |   Today's Quick Break: August 29, 2010: >>

Click for privacy policy

All content is © InnocentEnglish.com: Funny Jokes, Signs, Pics, Bloopers, English mistakes and More, 2005-2011, or is in the public domain, or is © by the respective copyright holders. Please contact for prompt removal of any inadvertent © content, with apologies.
Sitemap