The Infinite Heart
A Journey Into the Teachings of 150 Great
Mystics, Masters, Poets and Saints
WEEK THREE: Friday
Wonderful! You brought your guitar!
Yeah. Um, last night I was just kind of thinking about some of the things we’ve been talking about and a song just started coming out. So I thought maybe, I mean, if you wanted– it’s up to you, and I’m honestly not a very good singer or guitar player, but maybe if you wanted I could share it with you, if we have time and all.
I would be delighted! There is always time for a song! Would you like to do it now or later?
I think I’d like to put it off as long a possible.
Good. That way your anxiety can really build up.
Great. My doctor says anxiety makes me nervous. So, this is it. Either we’re going to do a ten hour marathon meeting or I’m stuck walking away with a lot of questions.
A searching mind never runs out of questions.
Is that so? Anyway, I was thinking about what you said yesterday– how we usually think the goal is to let go of more monkey bars, but we keep grabbing onto new ones. And that if we really wanted to surrender, we would just let go of the whole thing and let ourselves just fall. So if that’s true, it seems like it all gets back to one thing: Even if we might sometimes feel like we are willing, most of us probably aren’t actually fully willing to let go of the monkey bars.
And even that doesn’t need to change. It’s even easier than that. You cannot force yourself to be willing to let go. And there’s no need to even try. That’s far too complicated and effortful and agenda-filled to be a true way of being. That’s like one hand grasping tightly to the bar, while the other hand tries to pry it open. That is not tenderly accepting and giving gentle space to the closed hand.
The moment in which you are unwilling to fully let go of your grasping does not need to change! It is a perfect, unimprovable opportunity to gently let your heart rest in the Living Center. As that begins to happen, sometimes there is a natural Soothing Warmth that comes from your Settled Heart to the grasping hand. This can settle and soften the grasping hand, and lead it to relax its grip. But your Settled Heart is not extending Warm Tenderness to the grasping hand in order to make it let go. That would actually be a very thinly disguised prying hand. A Settled Heart cannot help but radiate Effortless Settledness towards all that is still grasping, and it does so without the slightest agenda or condition for that grasping to cease.
What it gets down to is this: It would be wonderful, absolutely beautiful, if we would just let ourselves deeply feel with an undeniable knowing inside that what really matters most is letting Pure Living Love flow through us without the slightest controlling or resisting on our part, and then just trust that knowing and absolutely give ourselves to it, even when we no longer can feel it or find it. And it would be wonderful if we would take our hands off this moment because we simply know that this is the truest way of being. If even in the most unbearable hell we would not even consider the slightest contracting within, because it would be making the feelings that are arising in this mind and body more important, more worthy of responding to, than Pure Being. It would be making this form our greatest treasure. And it would be wonderful if, once we fully realize that we can never have our Beloved, we would completely and unconditionally give this life to our Beloved.
Yeah, that would be wonderful, but I don’t think a whole lot of us are going to be there anytime soon.
Are going to be fully here anytime soon. The Infinite Heart is always absolutely right here. Are we?
And I’m saying, unfortuntely, no, most of us aren’t fully right here and aren’t really yet ready and willing to totally surrender.
Yes, most of us haven’t yet come to rest in the knowing of the precious value of Pure Being compared with the value of us living our lives for ourselves. Eckhart said “I am sure that if a soul knew the very least of all that Being means, it would never turn away from it.” Most of us aren’t yet willing to fully give our lives to Pure Being. So what to do?
That’s what I’ve been trying to ask you. What to do?
Here is the heart of it. When we simply don’t seem to be fully and totally willing to let go of our own insistence and conditions and grasping, is it really in support of Pure Being to try to force that to change? To resist exactly what is here in this moment is to add another apparent layer between us and the Infinite Center. It adds another perceived wall between Pure Consciousness and the fragment of consciousness we’re holding separate, out of fear of giving up all we think we are.
So we don’t ever have to try to resist our resistance. Even if we’re contracted and armored and choosing deadness over letting the uncontrollable Living Flow move through us, Pure Being would not use the slightest force to change the situation. There’s no need for us to either. It isn’t true. And it can’t take us Home.
But we can fully give ourselves gentle, compassionate, nonjudgmental permission to be exactly where we are. We can let ourselves take our hands off of trying to change this moment in which we’re in such a knot. Even when we seem to have become a frozen wall of lifeless armor. And when we simply let this moment be just as it is, without the slightest pressure to change it, we are being, in the midst of all our contracting, exactly as Pure Being is. And so it responds to our way of being, and a gentle Living Breeze begins to flows through us, even if only a touch. That touch touches everything.
Yeah, but sometimes we just can’t do that. Or else it really feels like we can’t do it.
Yes, when we’re in hell, we’re usually supporting and feeding our patterns, helping them along. We want their protection. We want their power to force a change in what’s happening. To help us break out of hell. So most of the time, we just aren’t willing to let go of them. And when that’s the case, we don’t even have to try to change that. We don’t have to try to resist our grabbing onto our resistance. We can let our tangled way of interacting with our patterns remain just as it is.
I know you keep saying it, but it’s really hard to let in. We really don’t have to change anything? We really don’t have to do something different or fix something or get rid of something? I mean, that’s just so different from what we always hear.
Absolutely nothing has to change first. When we are in a hell, and even when we aren’t, there is usually layer upon layer of sometimes very subtle resistance and counter-resistance, forcing and counter-forcing. Trying to do something to undo the doing we’re doing.
That just gets us stuck in do do.
And even if we’re completely wrapped up in this battle, even if we’re absolutely unwilling or unable to let go of any of these layers of doing, even just a little bit, that’s still okay. Even that doesn’t have to change! We can still give accepting space to what is present in this moment, even if all that is present is a cold unwillingness to be open. We can still give ourselves tender permission to be exactly as contracted as we are, even if we’re in the tightest, most unbearable, unbreathable knot of our lives. And the moment we let ourselves be, right where we are, there is the tiniest movement of Living Flow. The tiniest loosening of the outer layer of this ball of knots. That Flow then begins to melt through the next layer, and the next. Until it helps breathe New Life into the very depths of hell.
I’m getting this image of standing next to a big pile of football players all on top of the ball and each other. It’s like, you can’t do anything to get the ball free. And you can’t do anything to get the guy on top of the ball free. If you try to dive in there and dig them both out, you’re going to get stuck in the knot yourself and it’s just going to get bigger and heavier and tighter. And when you’re on top of the pile, trying to rearrange it or get rid of it, you’re keeping the others from getting up. I mean, the only thing keeping them down is the pressure of the ones on top of them, right? So I guess the only response really would be to just let go of the pressure you were putting on the pile when you were trying to get rid of it. I guess you really just let it be there, remove your weight from it, and then let it just get untangled on its own, which it can do now that you aren’t holding it down.
Yes, exactly. Trying to change anything within the pile just adds to the pile. The only place to start is right where you are, really letting the pile be there. Just as it is. This doesn’t require any rearranging of the pile. You don’t have to get rid of the pile so that you can accept it as it is and remove your weight from it. You don’t have to go get more spiritual first, or try to understand more about why the pile is there. It’s fine to just be present with the pile, and some understanding may come to you, but you don’t need to try to push and pull the players around so you can figure out how to get rid of it. You can just remove your pressure from it, right now. You can let it be just as it is, right now. You can simply take your hands off of it, right now. And not in order to make it go away. That’s a trick that doesn’t work. When you try that, what you’re really doing is turning your back away from the pile saying, “Okay, I’m not looking. You can all get up now. Go on. Get up. I don’t hear you getting up! Come on! I’m going to count to three and if you aren’t up by then, then I’m diving back in again even harder this time! ”
That’s still putting pressure on the pile.
No matter how accepting you pretend to be. But the more you can just be genuinely and warmly accepting of all that is in this moment, whether you are seeing the diamond or the mud, then the more space there is for Living Flow to move through. And the mud has the room and the touch of warmth and sunshine to unstick and dry and blow away, leaving only a diamond.
So you just be more open.
But you don’t even have to try to be more open. That can so easily be a subtle or not so subtle pressure where you are trying to pry yourself open. Just let yourself stop fighting with the truth that in this moment there is the experience of being closed. Let it be there. Fully. Completely. Kindly. Without resistance. Without argument. Without the slightest agenda to change it. You don’t have to twist your no into a yes. Simply say yes to your no.
Say that again?
You don’t have to try to change your no into a yes. Just let yourself allow and give room for your no. Just say yes to your no. Even if only a little. Regardless of the discomfort or pain that this allowing might let in.
You just have to accept it.
But that can so easily sound like something you have to add, and then you are adding to the knot, trying to add acceptance because you are supposed to.
Which is just shoulding on yourself again.
Right. Accepting it will often be too big. Too much. So just kindly allow that you can’t seem to accept it. Just allow it to be just as it is, with your not seeming to be able to accept it also being just as it is. Just let it all be as it is. Not adding acceptance. Just dropping the need to change exactly what is here right now. Dropping the pressure you are putting on it.
So it all gets down to those immortal words of Saint John. And Saint Paul. And Saint George and Saint Ringo: “Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.”
Perhaps the greatest truth to ever hit the top forty. Whatever is happening, we can always tenderly let it be. We can always allow ourselves to relax our hands from pushing or pulling or protecting, right where we are. No matter how endless the pile beneath us seems. We are never asked to add anything. We are only invited, by an ever-present and so gentle Whisper of Love, to simply stop continuing to add more pressure to the pile.
For years I tried in vain to force my heart to open. But a rose never opens when you are pulling on the petals. It just closes more tightly, and waits that much longer before it finally surrenders to the Sun.
That reminds me of my song. No, I don’t want to play it now, thank you for almost asking. Anyway, it almost sounds like you’re saying that we don’t even have to worry about trying to open up our heart.
We don’t. How arrogant we are to actually think that we could turn ourselves into a fully blooming rose! The burden of that is far too heavy to ever allow blooming to occur! We don’t even have to try to look like a rose at all. We can finally simply let go of all of our fake ornaments, all of our flowery facades, all of our artificial perfume, and tenderly sink into fully being the young, immature, tender, fragile, beautiful-hearted, muddy seed that we really are. A fake rose can’t become a real one. Ever. But the real seed hiding inside it can. It has only to let go of the constant pressure it uses to either hold itself together or to force itself to change, and just simply let itself finally really rest in the soil, even if at first, instead of feeling cool, strong and nurturing, that soil feels dark and mucky and cold. To simply not add more layers to what is here, and instead to simply allow what’s here, even as the seed begins to break open. Those messy, muddy conditions might interfere with us trying to look like a beautiful rose, but they are ideal for a real seed to grow, if it’s just given the space to really be itself exactly where it is.
* * * * * *
You know, I can picture myself trying to do this, trying to apply what you’re saying, and I know right off the bat that I’m on the wrong track. You’ve made it clear it’s not a technique the mind can do. But I can just see myself sometimes letting go a little bit, and then other times starting to beat myself up for not letting go and then trying to make myself let go, and then trying to stop trying to make myself let go, and then trying to stop doing that, and pretty quickly getting really wrapped up in a big mess.
Yes, that will happen. But it doesn’t matter. It isn’t a problem. The beautiful thing about true letting go is how simple it is. How impossible it is to blow it. Every moment you’re in is a perfect one. Every breath is a brand new chance. No matter how many layers of fighting you have going on inside you, there’s always a top of the pile. If you can’t seem to say yes to what’s happening, if you can only say no, then you can still simply say yes to that no. Give it tender permission to be. It’s that simple. And if you missed your chance, and you’re already fighting with that no, trying to undo it, that’s still a perfect opportunity. Simply say yes to that no. There is always a place to start. And it’s always exactly where you are. Never back there, even a moment ago. Never up there, a few steps into the future. The only living doorway is this one.
When we first hear this, we can’t help but think “How can I do it?” We think we should be okay all the time, and so we try to force ourselves to be okay with things we aren’t okay with. But that’s just covering that first layer of not okayness with another layer of it. We’re adding another no to the first one.
And that’s a no no.
Yes, and as soon as we realize that, instead of just gently letting it be, we usually try to undo what we have done. We try to push past that outer no, to get back down to that first contraction so that we can make ourselves say yes to it.
And that just adds another layer of resistance to the top of the pile.
Exactly. What we did a minute ago is already buried in the pile. Only the top of the pile is in the present moment. The moment we realize we’re using counter thrusters to try to neutralize thrusters, the moment we realize our hands are digging into the pile, fighting with it, trying to stop all the fighting already going on, we can just relax, let our hands stop working so hard, and just be warmly okay with that pile of struggling exactly as it is. We can just let ourselves be okay with the latest pressure we’re adding, rather than adding more pressure to get rid of it or trying to dig down to change something deeper in the pile that we did before. After all, our patterns are all about doing and changing and getting and holding. This is what we created them for. They aren’t worth fighting against with more resistance. They really can simply be here just as they are. Structures can’t taint our True Nature. But we don’t have to participate in them. We can take our hands off the pile and just rest inside, while our patterns gradually wear themselves out and begin to settle.
Man, I hope this is easier to do, or not do, than to talk about. So as an example, sometimes I feel anxiety without any good reason, and then I always tell myself I shouldn’t feel it, it’s stupid, and then I try to get rid of it. And so I could see myself thinking that I shouldn’t try to get rid of it, and then I might try to get rid of trying to get rid of it. So right off the bat I’ve got a nice pile going. And you’re saying I don’t have to stop doing any of that first. I could even add a few more layers of trying to stop the new trying I’m doing, and then getting frustrated, and then trying to get rid of the frustration, and then just saying “screw it”, and then trying to make myself be okay with that whole big ugly mess, and I still don’t have to get rid of any of that first.
Right.
So it’s completely irrelevant how massive the pile of trying is, because there’s always a top to it. It’s just a matter of not adding another layer. Just stopping. Thrusterlessness. Just letting ourselves be okay with at least that top layer, really letting it be there. And that gives it the space, the breathing room, to kind of get off the pile on its own. And bit by bit, the pile unravels.
Yes, exactly.
And I bet that as you get down to the bottom of the pile, to the core of the whole thing, it could be old and smelly and messy and harder to be okay with. But if you can let yourself really accept it and let it be there, then it eventually gets completely free.
That’s true. And sometimes what will happen is you’ll see the pile start to unravel on its own, and then you’ll want to get involved to speed things up. But as soon as you reach your hands back into the pile to help it along, you’re no longer genuinely okay with it being there. You’re now trying to be okay with it in order to make it go away. And before you know it, the pile is even bigger than before. There’s just no way to escape that the moment you’re trying to get anything for yourself, the letting go becomes a tightening again. When you are doing this as a technique, you’re trying to change what is. Anytime you are putting your hands on this moment, it’s to use force to change it. What a relief! This means that you never have to get your hands involved in the pile. They can only add to it, only get in the way. So the best way to lend a hand to the unfolding of what is in this moment is to simply take your hands off. To simply let yourself rest and be settled, with a genuine tenderness towards what is. When we take our hands off this moment, even for an instant, for that instant there is a Flow of Being that helps to relax our tight layers of effort and lets Being flow even more.
And just making sure- again- because it’s so easy to hear what you are saying in a way that you’ve already said you don’t mean- you don’t mean always physically sitting on your butt and accepting things as they are while a hurricane is on its way or your house is being repossessed. All this resting and letting go of doing that you’re talking about is more like inside you.
Absolutely. There is no more virtue in physically sitting than physically doing. Virtue comes not from what you do, but where you do it from. Now there is of course a willingness to just sit physically, rather than to run from the storm. If you had a deep sense that this was the most Real response, there would be no argument with it. There would be as much Settled Peace within while meeting the storm head on as there would be in evacuating days before it arrived.
Yeah but when would just sitting there, meeting the storm, ever be the most real response?
Native American elders in some tribes would know when it was time to go sit against a tree in the snow, and let the body return to the earth, so that the tribe as a whole could stay strong.
Yeah, I hadn’t thought of that. That definitely would be like going outside to meet the storm, and not resisting it at all. Letting it have you.
And not with bitterness or pity or martyrdom, but with such a Settled Sense of the Rightness of the cycle. A yessing into the natural way of things. There are times in all of our lives when the most Real response is to simply let go of taking action on a physical level, but most of the time, the most Real reponse includes being active in the mind and body much of the day, attending to the many things that are our privilege to take good care of.
And part two of this just making sure question is that accepting how things are and letting go of trying to change things doesn’t mean powerlessness in the world right? Like if someone is in a car wreck you walk on by, or if someone is mugging an old lady you turn the other way and just accept it.
Right. it’s easy for the mind to interpret fully accepting what is here in this moment as some form of weak, meek, powerless, limp backbonelessness. But how powerful is one who has met with Peace their fear of death! How powerful is one who has no need for armor. How powerful is one who has entered the belly of the beast and seen there is no danger. So powerful, there is no need to show power. So strong there is no need to wave a sword. But this does not mean there are not times to take strong action in form. Someone grabs your child, you respond with all the power your muscles will provide.
But what about like marching for a cause or being politically active or trying to change injustice.
If your mind is hoping to create a check list of what someone who has surrenderered to the Infinite Heart would and wouldn’t do, you can give up now. There are endless ways Reality may express through an individual mind and body. Some may become very active for a cause. But most assuredly, not with rage or anger or self-righteousness. But with inner Lightness, and Love. And they would meet all of their opponents with the effortless gaze of the Heart, never forgetting the Pearl or Reality sleeping beneath the shell. Again, virtue is determined not by what you do, but where you do it from. It can look a thousand different ways. There is a most willing Listening that happens, without personal agenda. You have released your tight grip on your mind and body, and you fully allow that space to be occupied by the Pure Goodness. You endlessly offer your self to Pure Life, which moves through your body and mind and patterning and personality in a completely unique and original way.
* * * * * *
Now let’s get back to your football analogy and turn it inside out. Let’s picture ourselves as the one at the bottom of the pile instead of outside it. We are the one that first believed there was some outer treasure, made of this world, that was worth grabbing onto.
Pigskin.
So we grabbed it and refused to let go. And then all our patterns followed our example, until we ended up stuck at the bottom of a thick, heavy pile of our own creation. And yet, even when we are feeling incredible pressure and weight from all the patterns on top of us, we can still simply surrender. We can let ourselves stop resisting and fighting and trying to break free, and we can give up trying to grasp onto any false treasures. We can simply soften and open and relax in the very center of that pile. We can simply go limp inside and let whatever happens happen.
That reminds me of how kittens sleep sometimes. They just pile on top of each other to be all warm and snug. And whichever one is on bottom is just stuck there until the others decide to get up. But they don’t seem to mind. They’re totally relaxed, totally limp. Totally comfortable being at the mercy of the others.
Yes, it can actually be comforting to relax at the bottom of a pile. We definitely feel the weight on us. But it’s up to us whether we perceive it as cold heavy chains or warm heavy blankets. Of course, when we first relax all our habitual counter-pressure, we might feel even more suffocating pressure and weight on top of us. But gradually, all those patterns that were just following our lead in the first place will follow along again, and join us in just letting go and going limp. And as more and more of the pile relaxes, there is a natural, spontaneous loosening and unraveling. An effortless rolling off the pile begins to happen, until it eventually becomes spread out on the cool grass, letting us feel the soft sun and fresh breeze. We didn’t have to use a single muscle to get out of the pile. And in fact, the more force we tried to use to break free, the more our patterns followed our lead and the more pressure and weight there was against us. All that happened was, we simply stopped using the muscles of resistance. We became limp inside. We gave up the fight and just let our hearts be settled and relaxed.
So any trying to loosen the knot makes it tighter. But when we just let go of it, it unravels by itself.
Exactly. But the question is, why would you let go of the knot? Why would you give up the fight and be as limp as a trusting baby inside? Why would you let go of trying to change what is? If the answer is actually in order to unravel the knot, to get out from the pile, then you aren’t really letting go of changing what is. You’re just trying a different, more subtle strategy. You’re trying to do letting go of the knot. So it stays just as raveled. And that isn’t okay with you so you start trying to pull it apart again. You’re trapped. So why would you really let the knot be, just as it is? Why would you really let all your issues and contractions and defenses be exactly as they are right now if you aren’t actually trying to change anything?
Well, maybe because you know that none of that stuff works. I mean, you’ve been trying to change the pile and get rid of it for years, and it hasn’t done a lot of good.
But then you’re just trying something else that might work better to get what you want.
Maybe. But you could just realize, “Damn, I’ve been fighting with myself for years, and I’m tired of it. I’m tired of the struggle. Why not just take a break for a while? Why not just let all these patterns just be there? Maybe they aren’t all that bad anyway. Maybe it isn’t worth all that work to try to get rid of them. Why not see what happens if I just relax and take a break and stop fighting for a while? Maybe even make friends with them.”
Yes, exhaustion can be a wonderful teacher of Effortlessness. The twentieth century Tibetan Buddhist teacher, Chogyam Trungpa, wrote “Sudden enlightenment comes only with exhaustion.” So you could realize the truth that all your trying to control hasn’t really gotten you what you’ve wanted. It’s just gotten you tired. Then you might stop trying to control it all and just let yourself rest regardless of what’s happening, with no agenda to change anything. And what about the noble goal of trying to be a fountain through which Pure Nectar flows into this thirsty world?
It sounds like that’s still trying to change something and trying to do something. Even if it sounds noble. But it seems like once you realize that all your fighting with what’s happening isn’t helping anything, that it’s just putting out there an energy of fighting, and that if you stop taking part in it then that could make things easier for yourself and others, then maybe you would just decide to stop. That wouldn’t necessarily be doing something to get anything, would it?
No, it could simply be letting yourself see that what you’ve been doing not only hasn’t worked, it has made things worse for yourself and others. And when you let yourself see that clearly, it can be easy to just stop doing it. It takes effort to start doing something that you believe might help. It takes no effort to simply let yourself rest from doing something that actually hurts. So, why would you let yourself rest in the moment, even when there is layer upon layer of contraction and struggle and fighting and numbness within you? Simply because you know that this response of letting things be is more true than all the fighting you have been doing for so long. Letting go isn’t a technique. It’s simply the truest response. The truest way of being. And when your way of being matches the way of Pure Being, even in the midst of a seemingly endless pile of trying and hiding and fighting, you are letting yourself be in a space that allows Pure Being to flow through you.
My friend, every time we can let ourselves be tenderly allowing of what is, even when what is is a space of resistance and fighting and pain, it’s not only the greatest gift we can give ourselves in that moment, it’s also the greatest gift we can give every being in that moment. In those breaths in which we open and soften even just this much to the moment just as it is, the Breath of Life begins to flow through us, into the dying places, both within ourselves and within others. Even within those in the most agonizing of hells. The beautiful thing about this gift is it isn’t one we can try to give, or work to give, or have an agenda to give. It’s a spontaneous fruit of simply following the truth of resting in what is.
Enlightenment is not only an unachievable goal, it’s an unworthy one. It’s a goal in which we are postponing living fully in this moment, in this mind, in this body, in this world, in the hopes of get something better for ourselves or the world. We are pushing away Pure Life for something we deem to be worth more, because we don’t like the fragrance accompanying it at the moment. There is nothing selfless about that. But to open enough to tenderly let Living Flow move through us, even if it’s accompanied by waves of discomfort or pain or anguish or fear or even by the death of everything we have ever been familiar with– that is a life worth living! That is a life in which the Living Breath of Pure Essence flows through us and enlivens the lifeless places within ourselves and all beings. A life in which, to whatever degree we are saying yes to the Most Real, we are to the same degree contributing to the healing of hell.
Enlightenment is a side effect. A fruit. It isn’t necessary. It isn’t important. And it most certainly is not worth pursuing. But to be willing to fully experience any hell, rather than to push Living Essence away, that is a life well lived. To let your heart be pierced again and again and never try to protect it from the Living Flow of Pure Being, that is a life to rest in. That is a life transformed into a vessel through which the Nectar of Pure Life is poured into the lifeless places. Enlightenment is nothing but an unworthy illusion! It is not worth living for. But Enlivenment– that is really worth dying for.
Did you hear that?
What?
The sound of the very last sacred cow, crashing to the ground. Steak anyone?
So you can let yourself fully be exactly where you are, even in the midst of endless layers of resistance. Even if your patterns are screaming “No!”, you can say yes to that. You can tenderly give it the space to be as it is. There is always a place to start. And over time, as you let yourself simply rest more and more in this Living Moment, and as you come to love and value Pure Being more than yourself, you will find yourself ever more willing to simply rest inside, even during waves of stronger and stronger discomfort and pressure and pain. You’re own comfort and even your own life become much less valuable than your Beloved. And so you would never deny your Beloved a place to be in this world just to rid yourself of suffering. Or even to prolong the life of this form you are living through. And then it becomes you’re greatest pleasure to serve your Beloved, to let Pure Living Sunshine flow through you, in even the most painful spaces.
So you go around trying to be in hell?
No. You don’t wish for suffering any more than you wish for bliss. Your life is no longer seen as yours to wish for anything. Lao Tzu said “The master gives himself up to whatever the moment brings.” But when you do find yourself in the midst of the most intense anguish, you simply lay your head in the Heart of your Beloved, which is always right in the depths of Now. You rest your head in the center of that anguish, and let the currents flow as they will. You are completely content to just rest in the Heart of God, and give the Living Presence of Essence every space in your entire being to live in and be in and flow through. You would never lift your head even slightly from the Heart of Pure Being. It is your True Home.
And if you were ever somehow asked to trade places with whatever being is the most lost being in this moment, so that they would be free again and you would be in the darkest, most intolerable hell, you would not give the slightest hesitation. And because you would never lift your head from the Living Moment, from the Heart of God, even while in hell, then Pure Liquid Sunshine would be completely free to flow through hell. Then hell is no longer a place of deadness. It becomes a place flowing with Pure Life. A holy place. A place as filled with the Divine as heaven. God’s infinite Heart has plenty of room for hell. Hell was never banished from the Heart of God. God was banished from the heart of hell. And only those who are in hell with an open heart can invite God back.
Okay, that was the last sacred cow.
This world is full of sacred cows.
Holy shit.
So, as more and more of us become willing to rest our hearts exactly where we are, even when we’re in some kind of hell, and as more of us begin to value letting Pure Being flow more than we value our own feelings and even our own lives, hell will increasingly become a place where Essence is invited to flow. A place overflowing with the New Life of Springtime. A place where roses begin to bloom. Ahh, the color of a rose that loves the Truth enough to bloom even during a storm! So indescribably sweet and light and pure and rich and healing! Its fragrance pierces through a heart in a way that nothing else can.
And as Pure Life returns to hell, it will change from a place of cold, dark, lifeless agony to a place of vibrant, beautiful, tender, heart-opening pain, like childbirth can be. And a Living Newness will emerge, as Pure Being will finally be free to flow through all that has been created. Until finally there is no place God is uninvited. And then even the most contracted and distorted beings will finally rest their weary heads in the Heart of God, and let the healing Love of Pure, Tender, soul-quenching Sunshine flow through their own newly awakened hearts. This is the dawn of a New Morning. A morning in which even the darkest places are bathed by the soft, warm rays of New Life. A morning in which all beings know and taste and serve the Living Liquid Sunshine within. A morning in which Creator and created live as one. In which every being is a centaur. Every being is Home. Every being endlessly rests in the Infinite Heart of God, the Heart of Pure Being, while living and loving and expressing in the world of form.
That world isn’t easy for the mind to imagine. But it’s so, so easy for the Heart to recognize. We don’t have to try to create such a world. We don’t have to feel the burden of bringing it about. It is the natural way of things. And it will flow on its own, if only we let ourselves get out of the way. If only we take our hands off of this moment. If only we let ourselves relax our effortful trying and hiding and pushing and pulling and simply once again rest. Even if only a little. And even if only for a moment at a time.
This new world, this new time, this new morning, this new life, of giving ourselves completely to the Ancient, Ancient Way, it all starts simply enough. Right here. Right now. In this very breath. Even if we missed a perfect chance only a moment ago. Even if we really blew it. This moment is always just as good! It all begins with this heartbeat. With this living pulse of Pure Being. With this newly born chance. And it begins with one simple word. A word that we can never use the slightest effort to make our hearts say, but that we can always, in every new moment, gently allow to arise. That one, simple word is the beginning of the healing of our hearts. The healing of our world. And even the healing of hell. That one simple word is yes.
I lay my head in this Living Moment
No need to change anything first
These endless depths so gently hold me
This endless Nectar quenches all thirst
Even when the waves are crashing
And all I know just falls apart
I let go of all I’m grasping
And lay my head on Your precious Heart
Even when the pain is growing
And I could stop it with a shield
I rest my head inside its flowing
And I let go of my own will
Even when the old is dying
And I’m so afraid to fall
I let go of all my holding
I say yes to Your tender call
Yes, You can have this life to live in
Yes, You can have every last part
I lay my head in this Living Moment
I lay my head on Your precious Heart
I lay my head on Your precious Heart
* * * * * *
All right, my friend. Enough.
Enough? You mean that’s it? We’re done? Like DONE done? Don’t we have time for just a few hundred last minute questions? I mean, it feels kind of like you led me deep into the forest and now suddenly you’re leaving me stranded in the middle of nowhere. And I think I hear scary, slowly building music.
Wonderful. What a perfect moment to gently take your hands off, relax, and sink into a yes, even while you feel incomplete and unsatisfied. Not trying to make yourself do it, but letting it softly happen. And if it isn’t happening, what a perfect moment to simply melt into a yes, a complete acceptance, of all that is in this moment including all of your resistance. You never have to undo a no before you can say yes. So, speaking of music, how about your song?
Already?
It’s up to you, but I’d love to hear it if you’re willing. When the soul burns to share, it doesn’t let a little fear get in its way.
But a lot of fear, that’s a different story.
If you’d rather not,–
–Fine, twist my arm. But remember, I’m not very good. I just write songs sometimes because it’s cheaper than therapy. So last night this song just kind of flowed out, and I thought it might be fitting to share it with you. So, um, here it goes… You sure we have time? It’s not a great song.
I know it feels vulnerable. But when it’s the heart that shares, it’s the heart that hears.
Well then, I hope I don’t give you heart burn.
Just take a deep breath, let yourself be quiet, feel the song, and let it flow…
… Okay… Seriously, I do want to say one thing first. I want to say thank you. For everything. I mean, it’s been a pretty wild few weeks, but pretty amazing too. It feels like there’s something going on deep down, and I can’t even understand what it is, but it feels like I can just trust it and let it be and not try to help it or understand it or control it.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, it feels like there’s more that’s happened here than just me trying to understand some ideas. And even if I can’t really pinpoint what’s different, it still feels like maybe some seeds have been planted, deep down, that will kind of slowly unfold and bloom in their own time, in a way I can’t really imagine now and don’t even have to. But there’s this feeling that whatever this subtle thing is that’s happening inside, it’s something I can trust and just let it do its thing and not worry about it or get in the way or try to push it along. I don’t know if that makes sense, but that’s how it feels.
Yes, my friend. It makes perfect sense.
And it’s because of you and our time together and our talks. So I can’t really even say what I’m thanking you for. But I just really feel this strong sense of gratefulness, and I wanted to make sure I said that. So, from the purest part of me to the purest part of you, thank you. And um, namaste.
Namaste, my friend.
Okay. So I guess I’ll just jump in. This is called “Open Rose”.
Long ago was a new born rose
Fearless, thornless never closed
Spreading nectar under the sun
Sharing its overflowing love with everyone
But then the wind turned fierce and cold
And the ever-loving sun seemed to go
Then came the hail and heavy rain
That fragile rose couldn’t bear to feel the pain
To stay alive, to survive
It chose to hide someplace deep inside
It closed its petals, grew its thorns
It’s still waiting for a day there are no more storms
This world needs open roses to remind it there’s a sun
What have I done
May I be an open rose May these petals never close
May this young heart remain exposed
May I be an open rose
May I let go of these thorns
I’ve been holding so tightly and so long
I’ve been frozen Help me thaw
May these thorns finally fall
May I never try to hide
Even when it’s time to die
Every flower must disappear
But this Nectar is always here
May I be an open rose May these petals never close
May this young heart remain exposed
May I be an open rose
May I be open under the sun,
May I be open when there’s none
When there’s darkness and when there’s storms
Nothing’s worth the price of thorns
May I be an open rose May these petals never close
May this young heart remain exposed May I be an open rose
May I be an open rose May these petals never close
May this young heart remain exposed
May I be an open rose
Ahhh, thank you, friend. How beautiful to hear the sound of an opening heart! A heart that is beginning to remember what it has always truly known! And it’s so beautiful, it’s such a gift, that even as your heart longs to be an open rose, you don’t have to feel the slightest burden of opening. You are completely free from the obligation of blooming!
Remind me why again?
The only way any rose has ever bloomed has been to completely, truly and unreservedly be content to simply be in the middle of its tight, pressured petals and sharp, cold thorns. Because to be truly tenderly relaxed in that is to match the way of Pure Being. And to match Pure Being is to become it. It’s never any bigger or more complicated than this. A rose can never do blooming. It can only be bloomed.
You’ve said it a million times, but it’s still sinking in. It really isn’t about getting there. It really is about being here? That’s not very exciting or glamorous. That’s not much of a Big Spiritual Secret.
True. It is very simple and very, very, very small. As small as the real rose seed, the true candle flame, the small, simple cell, the pure spark of Sunshine within us. When we become that small and pure and simple, completely content to be where we are, our part is finished, and the rest is not ours to hurry or control.
My friend, when we stop trying to get back into the arms of God, when we stop trying to get anything or get rid of anything or change anything about this moment, and simply lay our head within its infinite depths, we begin to fall through the layers of the Great Dream, back into the One Dreamer. We begin to awaken within the dream, and finally realize that all this time, throughout our entire journey away from Pure Being and our entire journey back to Pure Being, we’ve always been safely resting in the Infinite Heart of Pure Being.
And as we continue to let ourselves fall Home, through the simple smallness of gently resting in what is and being absolutely honest about what is of Most Value, we come to see that the very Center of our being, the most Pure, most Real, most True part of ourselves– the Center of the soul– is the very same one as that One. Eckhart said “Our truest ‘I’ is God.” The very heart of us and the Infinite Heart of God are One Heart. The Heart of our being is Pure Being. To know that, to love that, to be that, to rest in that, to live that, to share that, to express that, to let that flow through us while we are still alive in this world, ahhh, my friend! Then what a dream life becomes! What a magnificent, glorious dream!
Namaste, my dear friend. Namaste!