These are actual fortune cookie fortunes.
Confucius say you have heart as big as Texas.
You have an unusual equipment
for success, use it properly.
Because of your melodic nature,
the moonlight never misses an appointment.
You will gain admiration from your pears.
You will receive a fortune cookie.
Never wear your best pants
when you go to fight for freedom.
A starship ride has been promised to you
by the galactic wizard.
You love Chinese food.
Someone will invite you to a Karaoke party.
Don’t behave with cold manners.
Typed like any other fortune cookie:
Help! I am being held prisoner in a Chinese bakery.
Don’t forget you are always on our minds.
From the same people holding the prisoner?
What you left behind is more mellow than wine
(for a bathroom?)
There is no mistake so great
as that of being always right.
Never forget a friend. Especially if he owes you.
A tub and a rub will change your day.
THAT WASN’T CHICKEN.
Suppose you can get what you want.
If you’re happy and you know it, and you realy want to show it, if you’re happy and you know it, eat a monkey.
“Its about time I got out of that cookie.”
(sent in by Michael-Asheville, NC)
Another site with great fortune cookie fortunes is weirdfortunecookies.com/
Page Topic: Funny Real Fortune Cookie Fortunes
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Section: Funny English from Around the World