These funny bloopers are actual mistakes by students I have tutored in Conversational English, and are from my humor book.
—First, heat up your pants really hot,
then add oil.
—If you have time, you should suck the noodles for twenty minutes before you boil them.
—Add a little fresh black paper.
—Put the cabbages in salt water.
Then sit in the sink until the morning.
—Add two cups of ground flowers.
—Next, chop all the vegetarians
into little pieces.
—Then add small feces of fish.
—Don’t forget to insult the soup.
—Next, add a little Buddha
and mix it all up.
—When you are finished cooking,
find a suitable bowel and eat it with chopsticks.