Teacher: How long does it take to get to Zurich?
Student: You have two ears. (Meaning: It takes two hours).

This guy was a train attendant in Switzerland. Lovely student but pity the poor, bewildered English speaking travellers in Switzerland!

Student: Air hostess job is very hard.
Teacher: Why?
Student: You have to smell all the time. All the time, you must smell. When you see customers, you have to smell them.
( Meaning: You have to smile all the time.)

Student: Yesterday, I ate my friends. ( Meaning- Yesterday, I ate WITH my friends).
Another student: Teacher, yesterday, I cooked my family. ( Meaning: I cooked FOR my family.)

Student: How you say teacher when you make the number on the phone?
Teacher: You must DIAL the number.
Student: You must DIE! (Mispronunciation of dial)

Teacher: What does your friend eat?
Student: Teacher, she eat beeniz. She eat beeniz. ( Beeniz sounded shockingly like something else!)

Very religious female student: I need piniz. I need piniz. (Meaning: I need pins).

Student: My parents very important to me….
Teacher: Why?
Student…because they are my underground. ( meaning: my background).

Teacher: How long does it take to get to Zurich?
Student: You have two ears. (Meaning: It takes two hours).

Student: Air hostess job is very hard.
Teacher: Why?
Student: You have to smell all the time. All the time, you must smell. When you see customers, you have to smell them.
( Meaning: You have to smile all the time.)

Student: Yesterday, I ate my friends.
Another student: Teacher, yesterday, I cooked my family.

Student: How you say teacher when you make the number on the phone?
Teacher: You must DIAL the number.
Student: You must DIE! (Mispronunciation of dial)

Teacher: What does your friend eat?
Student: Teacher, she eat beeniz. She eat beeniz. ( Beeniz sounded shockingly like something else!)

Very religious female student: I need piniz. I need piniz. (Meaning: I need pins).

Student: My parents very important to me….
Teacher: Why?
Student…because they are my underground. ( meaning: my background).

I just HAD to send this link to a bunch of friends since I nearly cried from laughing so much!

yons of larva can bury a city?

you can sleep with my sister, that’s what most of my friends do when they’re visiting???

it doesn’t get much better than that :]\
lololololol

I actually have some stories too. My mom and I moved from Brazil to the U.S and some funny things happened:

Lady: I had an AWFUL week!
My mom: Good! Good for you! You DESERVE it!
Me: Mom, she said “awful,” not “awesome,” “awful” is the bad one.

Man: You’re very bold.
My mom (in Portuguese): Bold, what’s that?
My sister (in Portuguese): He’s telling you that you’re bald.