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How to toast: Tips and Tricks for Good Toasts

TOASTER’S HANDBOOK

JOKES, STORIES, AND
QUOTATIONS

Compiled by

PEGGY EDMUND

and

HAROLD WORKMAN WILLIAMS

Introductions by

MARY KATHARINE REELY

1916

PREFACE: How to Toast: Tips and Tricks for Good Toasts

Nothing so frightens a man as the announcement that he is expected to
respond to a toast on some appallingly near-by occasion. All ideas he
may ever have had on the subject melt away and like a drowning man he
clutches furiously at the nearest solid object. This book is intended
for such rescue purpose, buoyant and trustworthy but, it is to be hoped,
not heavy.

Let the frightened toaster turn first to the key word of his topic in
this dictionary alphabet of selections and perchance he may find toast,
story, definition or verse that may felicitously introduce his remarks.
Then as he proceeds to outline his talk and to put it into sentences, he
may find under one of the many subject headings a bit which will happily
and scintillatingly drive home the ideas he is unfolding.

While the larger part of the contents is humorous, there are inserted
many quotations of a serious nature which may serve as appropriate
literary ballast.

The jokes and quotes gathered for the toaster have been placed under the
subject headings where it seemed that they might be most useful, even at
the risk of the joke turning on the compilers. To extend the usefulness
of such pseudo-cataloging, cross references, similar and dissimilar to
those of a library card catalog, have been included.

Should a large number of the inclusions look familiar, let us remark
that the friends one likes best are those who have been already tried
and trusted and are the most welcome in times of need. However, there
are stories of a rising generation, whose acquaintance all may enjoy.

Nearly all these new and old friends have before this made their bow in
print and since it rarely was certain where they first appeared, little
attempt has been made to credit any source for them. The compilers
hereby make a sweeping acknowledgment to the “funny editors” of many
books and periodicals.

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2 Responses to “How to toast: Tips and Tricks for Good Toasts””

1. Samuel YO Says:
   May 14th, 2009 at 12:40 pm

   how do i toast a girl i love so much that i dont know how to approach her

2. samuel iijeh Says:
   June 14th, 2009 at 1:05 pm

   how do i toast pls teach me .i love this girl but i can talk to her not toast

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Section: Toasts and Toasting: How to toast at weddings, formal d