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How to toast: Tips and Tricks for Good Toasts
TOASTER’S HANDBOOK
JOKES, STORIES, AND
QUOTATIONS
Compiled by
PEGGY EDMUND
and
HAROLD WORKMAN WILLIAMS
Introductions by
MARY KATHARINE REELY
1916
PREFACE: How to Toast: Tips and Tricks for Good Toasts
Nothing so frightens a man as the announcement that he is expected to
respond to a toast on some appallingly near-by occasion. All ideas he
may ever have had on the subject melt away and like a drowning man he
clutches furiously at the nearest solid object. This book is intended
for such rescue purpose, buoyant and trustworthy but, it is to be hoped,
not heavy.
Let the frightened toaster turn first to the key word of his topic in
this dictionary alphabet of selections and perchance he may find toast,
story, definition or verse that may felicitously introduce his remarks.
Then as he proceeds to outline his talk and to put it into sentences, he
may find under one of the many subject headings a bit which will happily
and scintillatingly drive home the ideas he is unfolding.
While the larger part of the contents is humorous, there are inserted
many quotations of a serious nature which may serve as appropriate
literary ballast.
The jokes and quotes gathered for the toaster have been placed under the
subject headings where it seemed that they might be most useful, even at
the risk of the joke turning on the compilers. To extend the usefulness
of such pseudo-cataloging, cross references, similar and dissimilar to
those of a library card catalog, have been included.
Should a large number of the inclusions look familiar, let us remark
that the friends one likes best are those who have been already tried
and trusted and are the most welcome in times of need. However, there
are stories of a rising generation, whose acquaintance all may enjoy.
Nearly all these new and old friends have before this made their bow in
print and since it rarely was certain where they first appeared, little
attempt has been made to credit any source for them. The compilers
hereby make a sweeping acknowledgment to the “funny editors” of many
books and periodicals.
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22 Responses to “How to toast: Tips and Tricks for Good Toasts””
COMMENT (Not all comments are approved, including rude comments and those with strong language).
Section: Toasts and Toasting: How to toast at weddings, formal d
May 14th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
how do i toast a girl i love so much that i dont know how to approach her
June 14th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
how do i toast pls teach me .i love this girl but i can talk to her not toast
May 6th, 2010 at 3:05 am
I want to learn how to toast a girl
June 1st, 2010 at 5:13 am
how do i toast a girl of my heart
September 7th, 2010 at 5:46 pm
Plz teach how to toast girl
September 16th, 2010 at 2:44 am
i saw a girl for the first time and i fell in love with her but i don’t know how to tell her pls help me out
October 8th, 2010 at 2:46 am
how can i toast a girl i love at first sight pls mail it to me
October 10th, 2010 at 1:12 pm
how do i talk with this girl i like very much without chokin
October 16th, 2010 at 9:23 am
how do i toast the girl i love
October 27th, 2010 at 12:28 pm
If u are dating a girl and u love her,how can u know if she love u
November 8th, 2010 at 4:51 am
How to toast a girl
November 8th, 2010 at 8:23 am
i met a girl about 4month ago, pls how do i tell her that want a relationship with her, we have arrange to see on saturday 4pm, i dont know about tell what i fell, we are not friends yet. please
November 12th, 2010 at 10:33 pm
how do i toast a girl i love
November 15th, 2010 at 10:55 pm
I need a right language{words} to use to approach a girl i love
November 22nd, 2010 at 10:16 pm
Plz how can i toast a girl at first sight?
November 22nd, 2010 at 10:17 pm
What and what will i tell a girl while toasting her?
December 22nd, 2010 at 4:50 pm
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March 8th, 2011 at 10:46 am
i have a girl friend. But anytime am with her, i don’t know what to say to her
March 26th, 2011 at 9:39 am
Hi don’t know how to toast a girl because hi used to panic
April 5th, 2011 at 4:37 am
I love my girl but cant tell her i love her
July 8th, 2011 at 9:22 pm
Hi always saw this girl and i love her and hi dont know how talk with her
July 22nd, 2011 at 6:24 pm
i love a girl what reaction can i show to her