Funny English From Around The World
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Stupid Sayings and Quotes
The best really stupid sayings and quotes from bumper stickers, T-shirts, & graffiti.Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie!’… till you can find a rock.
Sex on television can’t hurt you… unless you fall off.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm
Drink ’till she’s cute, but stop before the wedding
Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines
Page Topic: Stupid Sayings and Quotes
Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
I’m not cheap, but I am on special this week
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol
I intend to live forever - so far, so good
I love defenseless animals, especially in gravy.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
If you ain’t makin’ waves, you ain’t kickin’ hard enough!
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
BEER: It’s not just for breakfast anymore.
I got a gun for my wife, best trade I’ve ever made.
So you’re a feminist…Isn’t that cute, honey!
Anyone can give up smoking, but it takes a real man to face cancer.
Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!
Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States
Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
Support bacteria - they’re the only culture some people have.
Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion.
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.
If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder…
24 hours in a day … 24 beers in a case …coincidence?
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
something.
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.
Page Topic: A collection of the best really dumb, funny, stupid, hilarious, cute and witty sayings, quotes, bumper stickers, t-shirts and graffiti humorous one-liners and sayings.
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20 Responses to “Stupid Sayings and Quotes””
COMMENT (Not all comments are approved, including rude comments and those with strong language).
Section: Stupid, Funny Quotes, Questions & Sayings
January 9th, 2008 at 10:11 pm
Why do dumb people get wisdom teeth?I guess for them they`re called wis-dumb teeth
January 22nd, 2008 at 6:52 pm
I swear to drunk I’m not God.
February 19th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
those are cool
but some i dont get
lol
February 25th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
February 25th, 2008 at 7:53 pm
When life gives you lemons…. you throw it at mean people and hope it gets in their eyes.
Life is tough….. GET A HELMET!
Why isn’t the #11 pronounced onety-one
When cheese gets it’s picture taken… what does it say?
Last night I played a blank tape and full blast…the mime next door went nuts.
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
March 5th, 2008 at 8:43 pm
I’m not as think as you dumb i am!!!
March 5th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
When life gives you lemons: (3 choices)
A. Suck out all of the vitamin C and yell “EAT THAT, LIFE!!!1″
B. sit in the darkest corner and cut…
C. Find your best friend and say. “Life told me to give this to you. Appearently he got my cake mixed up with your lemons!”
Don’t be harsh… i made two of those up> XP
April 2nd, 2008 at 7:39 am
If I ate a bowl of alphabits this morning I could crap out better jokes than these ; P
April 9th, 2008 at 5:39 pm
he who laughs last thinks the slowest
April 28th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
There is always a light at the end of the tunnel, lets pray it is not a train.
April 29th, 2008 at 8:02 am
When life gives you lemons ask for salt and tequila!
May 9th, 2008 at 9:04 pm
I saw this frisbe coming my way and i wonered why it was getting bigger and bigger, then it hit me.
May 30th, 2008 at 4:54 pm
When life gives you lemons, make orange juice, then wonder how the heck you did it.
June 5th, 2008 at 9:20 pm
I’m not running away from my problems!!!!!! I’m just hiding from them!
June 20th, 2008 at 9:51 am
in a library where do they put the bible non fiction or fiction
June 26th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
when life throw you lemons…
SHUT UP AND EAT YOUR DAMN LEMONS!!!!!
July 10th, 2008 at 10:29 pm
HAHAHAHAHAH, Whats wioth the lemons!?
its so bloody halarious, im pissing myself.
Good One guys!
- When life gives you lemons ask for salt and tequila!
- When life gives you lemons…. you throw it at mean people and hope it gets in their eyes.
- When life gives you lemons, make orange juice, then wonder how the heck you did it.
- when life throw you lemons…
SHUT UP AND EAT YOUR DAMN LEMONS!!!!!
July 18th, 2008 at 3:58 am
Addiction takes commitment!
I’m not as think as you drunk I am!
If you think I’m a bitch, wait until you meet my mother!
When life throws you lemons… Chuck them right back and say, ‘I ordered a martini, Waiter!’
Never turn down a chance to yell, ‘STUFF THEM ALL!’
If you are in need of self-esteem, stand in front of your mirror and shout, ‘I am beautiful! I am perfect! I ROCK!’ This always works if you want some elbow room in public toilets.
August 13th, 2008 at 7:48 am
When life gives you lemons… Squeeze Them In Peoples Eyes!
Give a man a hand and he’ll slap you with it!
i Rock !
cripplefit..x
August 29th, 2008 at 3:47 am
pessimist:a person that looks both ways before crossing a one way street