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More Really Funny Sayings, Witty Quotes, Clever Bumperstickers and more

Here are some more really funny sayings, witty quotes, cute and clever bumper sticker quotes,  and interesting thoughts.  Some are pretty funny, a few are hilarious, some are painfully true, and some are clever and witty.  (and of course, some of these are pretty stupid sayings and dumb sayings that aren’t that amazing…   ) 

     You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
    
     I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

     Honk if you love peace and quiet.

     Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?

     Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

     It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.

     The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.

     It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

     You can’t have everything….where would you put it?

     Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world’s population.

     The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.

     A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

     He who laughs last thinks slowest.

     Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film.

     A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

     On the other hand you have different fingers.

     Change is inevitable except from a vending machine.

     I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

     When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

     Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it.

     Those who live by the sword… get shot by those who don’t.

     I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

     He’s not dead… he’s electroencephalographically challenged.

     It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

     I wished the buck stopped here as I could use a few.

     I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

     Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

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Comments

27 Responses to “More Really Funny Sayings, Witty Quotes, Clever Bumperstickers and more””

  1. Clare Says:
    January 22nd, 2008 at 12:10 pm

    Nobody goes there anymore. It’s too crowded.

  2. DragonfireKate Says:
    February 11th, 2008 at 10:55 pm

    What is the chemical name for water?
    and it isn’t H2O

    If we’re in a drought, why can’t we import dehydrated water?

    Not taking a risk, is taking a risk in itself

  3. Jen Says:
    March 6th, 2008 at 3:52 am

    Its no coincidence that man’s best friend can’t talk.

  4. halz Says:
    March 13th, 2008 at 5:24 pm

    i though that it was H2O…yes, because it consists of 2 hydrogen and i oxygen element!! right??..

  5. Vod Says:
    March 14th, 2008 at 2:02 pm

    Dihydrogen Oxide is the Chemical name for water. H2O is its chemical formula.

  6. CindyLou Says:
    March 18th, 2008 at 5:53 am

    Frustrated with all of the people that just don’t seem to have a clue in my “quazi government” job, I posted the following sign: “Common sense really isn’t that common.”

    Yesterday I was told to remove my sign by the CFO because the Executive Director (the one in charge of the company…cough cough!!!) thought the sign was negative and that it offended him. Wow…obviously the sign must have been for him….sheesh…get some common sense hoss!!

    Now I have a picture of big bird posted….do you think he’ll get THAT one? Probably not….morons.

  7. Rick Says:
    August 7th, 2008 at 1:14 pm

    No matter where you go – You’re always there!
    And you’re never there, because you’re always here!

  8. Justin Says:
    September 26th, 2008 at 11:19 am

    I actually have the one about eh one with the sword and the dude getting shot. I also have one that says “My Gamer Fragged Your Honor Student.”

  9. Maddie Says:
    October 9th, 2008 at 7:34 am

    there are 3 kinds of people. Those who can count, and those who can’t!

  10. Belle Says:
    December 1st, 2008 at 4:02 am

    for the dudes who are doing the chemical name for water: its dihydrogen monoxide…u left out the ‘mon’

    i’m such a grammar nazi…oh well

  11. mitch Says:
    December 30th, 2008 at 3:50 am

    the following statement is true.
    the previous statement is false.

  12. Jess Says:
    January 18th, 2009 at 5:10 pm

    We have enough youth…how about a fountain of smart?

  13. Thea Says:
    April 10th, 2009 at 11:22 pm

    It’s better to be lazy, than to get tired..

  14. mitch Says:
    April 14th, 2009 at 5:54 am

    Hard work never killed any one, but why chance it.

  15. jimmie Says:
    April 16th, 2009 at 11:04 am

    Whats funny is that there are no more truely oringinal thoughts. H2O, really? Hilarious!

  16. vin Says:
    April 26th, 2009 at 2:48 pm

    “It is my true opinion.”

    “Facts are stupid.”

  17. McKenzie Says:
    May 26th, 2009 at 8:32 pm

    Isn’t it ironic how,364 days of the year, taking candy from strangers is discouraged, yet on Halloween, it’s encouraged???

  18. Lee Says:
    October 23rd, 2009 at 5:58 am

    Rick said: No matter where you go – You’re always there!
    And you’re never there, because you’re always here!

    The question is whether you’re ALL there or not…:-D

  19. Graf von Schlitz Says:
    January 14th, 2010 at 8:54 am

    An old Spanish proverb, or expression is, “There is nothing more uncommon, than common sense.”

  20. Chance Says:
    May 13th, 2010 at 5:05 am

    How ironic would it be if someone choked on a Lifesaver?

  21. Audie Dupler Says:
    May 22nd, 2010 at 5:49 pm

    Lao Ze Sho: Gilligan’s Island

  22. barney Says:
    June 1st, 2010 at 6:03 am

    One bright morning…
    in the middle of the night,
    two dead boys came out to fight.
    they stood back to back
    and faced each other
    drew their swords
    and shot eachother.
    the deaf policeman heard the noise
    and came to kill
    those two dead boys.
    If u dont believe my story
    its true ask the blind man he saw it too!

  23. Lindsy Says:
    July 22nd, 2010 at 10:58 am

    On my way up the stairs, I met a man that wasn’t there. He wasn’t there again today, I wish the man would go away.

  24. jean claude poulin Says:
    August 16th, 2010 at 9:11 pm

    “Mother nature gave youth beauty, because she knows that youth has nothing else to offer”

  25. hiyas Says:
    November 17th, 2010 at 6:49 pm

    hmm that was stupid

  26. Ozius Says:
    January 2nd, 2011 at 1:53 am

    these seriously came in handy!!! good jokes!!!

  27. neal Says:
    January 20th, 2011 at 10:22 pm

    sometimes i look at that frisby and wander why it is getting bigger. . .than it hits me . .

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