Why that couldn’t pull a buttered string out of a cat’s a*s.

Faster than a cat can lick its a*s.

All over that like white on rice.

Pickin’ the fly sh*t out of the pepper.

So hungry you can eat a stink bug off a dead skunk.

He goes to church on Sunday, steals chickens on Monday.

Even a blind squirrel gets an acorn once in awhile

Even a blind hog gets an ear of corn once in a while.

I need one for “It adds up faster than??????

(really hungry)

It’s hotter than hell toasted bacon outside.

Don’t let your alligator mouth overload your tadpole a**.

She’s (or he) got teeth like a rake.

She (or he) has to sneak up on water fountain to get a drink.

Well sh@# fire and save the matches!

Shut up and git in the truck!

I’ll slap you and not even tell you why!

We say “cut the light on/off” not “turn”

We “mash” the gas (gas pedal in the car) and we also mash the buttons in the elevator. not press

kick a** and take names

it’s pronounced dawg not dog

who licked the red off your candy cane?

I had to park out in the back south 40

he lives out in east bumble f&@k

You can just get glad in the same pants you got mad in.

His/her family tree don’t fork.

not alot of genes in that pool.

when you are in trouble your momma calls you by all of your names (first middle last…)

I’ll whup you like a yard dawg

A little piece of advice: If you are in trouble and told to go out and cut your own switch…don’t come back with a little one…that aint going to work for ya

he’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer

I already know I’m going to hell, I’m just paving the road.

what is your major malfunction?!

have you lost all of your mind?!

have you taken leave of your senses?!

That’ll do it.