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Funny Deep Thoughts: Funny Sayings and Thoughts that make you think

Here are some funny sayings, witty one liners and thought provoking oxymorons  that make you think. 
The future isn’t what it used to be.

This man’s work cannot be underrated.

Way down deep he’s shallow.

Before they made him they broke the mold.

Anyone who goes to a psychoanalyst should have his head examined.
—Samuel Goldwyn
 
I feel a lot more like I do now than I did when I came in.
   
UFO’s show than our worst fears were groundless.
 
He’s a unique type.
 
You have one choice.
 
Acupuncture is pointless.
 
It’s 90% too late.

It’s probably a lot worse than it is.
   
The Avant-Garde is Passe.

While these results may seem rather trivial, their importance cannot be underestimated.
 
There’s more to photography that meets the eye.

If you think about it long enough, you’ll see that it’s obvious.
 
Anyone who always tells the truth is a big liar.

The main trouble with impossibility is that it is never total.

If there’s anything I can’t stand, it’s intolerance.
 
I am going to be healthy if it kills me.
 
The only attitude I trust is skepticism.
 
Our lack of cooperation is mutual.

I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
 
Life should have a purpose, however meaningless.
  
If everything goes perfectly, something’s wrong.
 
There’s nothing new in originality.

Down with propaganda!
 
Thinking is the last thing on my mind!
 
I have become more optimistic and now believe that things could get worse.
 
If it involves me, I want nothing to do with it.

I absolutely refuse to be assertive.

A little pain never hurt anyone.

Why should I consider your questions, when you don’t even know the answers?

The last time I took advice, it only worked because I changed it.

How do you expect me to ignore you when you’re never around?

Please – I can only ignore one thing at a time.

At the last technical meeting I attended, so much went on that I was underwhelmed.
This book fills a much-needed gap.

People who like this sort of thing will fmd it just the sort of thing they like.
—Abraham Lincoln
 
I can’t stand people who look down on people who look down on people.

If he were alive today, he’d turn over in his grave.

Our advance is so rapid that we are falling farther and farther behind.

Whenever I look for something, it’s always in the last place I look.

We have worked ourselves into a frenzy of lethargy.

If God intended man to understand the human mind, he wouldn’t have given him one!

If I had known how successful I was going to be, I wouldn’t have worked so hard when I was young!

I gave you an unlimited budget, and you have already exceeded it!

This presents us with an insurmountable opportunity.

I won’t hesitate for a moment to avoid answering!
 
I have something to say, but I don’t know what.

You don’t stand alone. I also stand alone!

I’m an atheist, thank God.

I swear to make no promises I cannot keep.

The time has come to rise above principles.

Include me out!
—Samuel Goldwyn

Page topic: Funny deep thoughts: Funny, clever and witty sayings, oxymorons and thoughts that make you think…

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Comments

27 Responses to “Funny Deep Thoughts: Funny Sayings and Thoughts that make you think””

  1. naren Says:
    February 19th, 2008 at 9:43 am

    its the early bird that catches the worm.. but then its the early worm that gets caught….

  2. Kevin Says:
    March 22nd, 2008 at 8:23 am

    I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to.

  3. OMG Says:
    June 15th, 2008 at 1:52 pm

    Why do we kill people who kill people to show that killing is wrong?

  4. Rosa Says:
    June 28th, 2008 at 8:03 pm

    They laugh because I’m different, but I laugh because they’re all the same.

  5. Calum Scouller Says:
    August 8th, 2008 at 5:23 am

    My body is like a temple – an old ruin!

  6. Calum Scouller Says:
    August 8th, 2008 at 5:54 am

    We’ll discuss your paranoia when you’ve left the room!

  7. Cheyenne Says:
    September 8th, 2008 at 7:29 pm

    If you work for a living, why do you kill yourself working?

  8. Adam Simmons Says:
    October 2nd, 2008 at 12:29 pm

    Remember you’re unique… just like every one else.

  9. Jiggy Says:
    November 24th, 2008 at 7:29 pm

    Is there a hole in the leak, or a leak in the hole

  10. mahboob hassan Says:
    January 10th, 2009 at 5:49 pm

    drink water -in future it may be expensive or illegal.

  11. mahboob hassan Says:
    January 10th, 2009 at 5:50 pm

    when i have no options left , i think.

  12. bib Says:
    June 16th, 2009 at 5:58 pm

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

  13. DickHead_1 Says:
    July 10th, 2009 at 12:55 pm

    I say no to drugs….. but they dont listen!!!

  14. Clare Says:
    September 16th, 2009 at 4:38 am

    Im glad im struggling because wen i get ther it woud of been worth it.

  15. gebs Says:
    October 4th, 2009 at 12:13 pm

    damn these lines are the best out all the lines i never hered.

  16. Kannase Junior Says:
    October 6th, 2009 at 2:27 am

    I have a great time reading this statement….

  17. dd Says:
    December 30th, 2009 at 3:14 am

    man man man

  18. fang Says:
    May 12th, 2010 at 4:15 pm

    im already seeing duct-tape on your mouth

  19. Bratati Says:
    May 18th, 2010 at 10:47 am

    Its better to b dead than living half alive…..

  20. jay Says:
    June 16th, 2010 at 2:24 pm

    If I knew I was going to live this long, I would’ve taken better care of myself

  21. Bratati Says:
    June 24th, 2010 at 11:32 am

    A single drop of ink… May leave many to think…

  22. mind y'beeswax Says:
    August 3rd, 2010 at 5:35 am

    WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU SPILL CARPET CLEANER???????

    IF TWO WRONGS DON’T MAKE A RIGHT, WHAT DOES TWO LEFTS MAKE AND HOW DO I GET HOME IF I NEED TO TURN RIGHT?????

  23. Betta Says:
    August 9th, 2010 at 9:06 pm

    “They laugh because I’m different, but I laugh because they’re all the same.” Nice Cassie Davis quote :)

  24. Buck Peach Says:
    September 18th, 2010 at 7:17 am

    You can’t tell which way the train went by looking at the tracks

  25. Kingsley White Says:
    October 22nd, 2010 at 2:57 pm

    Nobody believes one hundred percent. Nobody. Not completely. Not one. We wouldn’t be here if we did. The World isn’t for the more evolved spirit.
    But Nobody disbelieves fully either…

  26. Sherani The Great Says:
    October 29th, 2010 at 12:01 am

    I am searching for last couple of days that while thinking we use the brain and mind mutually at that time what is the contribution of soul????

  27. Dr. Sanjeev Awasthi Says:
    November 30th, 2010 at 7:41 am

    very good

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