1. Dear Sirs, please stop my assistance since I got a job begging in October
2. I am writing the Welfare Dept. to say that my baby was born 2 years old. When do I get my money?
3. Mrs. Jones has not had any clothing for a year and has been visited regularly by the clergy.
4. I cannot get sick pay. I have had 6 children. Can you tell me why?
5. I am glad to report that my husband who was reported missing is dead.
6. This is my eighth child. What are you going to do about it?
7. Please find for certain if my husband is dead, as the man I am living with can’t do a thing until he knows.
8. I am very much annoyed to find you have branded my boy as illiterate. This is a dirty lie. I was married to his father a week before he was born.
9. In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a boy weighing 10 pounds. I hope this is satisfactory.
10. I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my 3 children, one of which was a mistake as you can see.
11. Unless I get my husband’s money pretty soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life.
12. My husband got laid off from his job 2 weeks ago, and I haven’t had any relief since.
13. You have changed my little boy to a girl. Will this make any difference?
14. I have no children yet as my husband is a bus driver and works night and day.
15. In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.
16. I want my money as quick as I can get it. I have been in bed with a doctor for 2 weeks and he hasn’t done me any good. If things don’t improve I will have to send for another doctor.
(In response to the question, “Why have you applied for public assistance?”) My husband left me last month and I am in need of ass
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Section: Funny English Bloopers & Mistakes