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Funny School Excuse Notes

These are excuse notes that school secretaries have actually received. Some of these were in an article in the Detroit News back in the 1970s.

“Please excuse John for being absent Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and 33.”

“Ralph was absent yesterday because of a sour throat.”

“Please excuse Joey Friday. He had loose vowels.”

“Please excuse Joyce from jim today.”

“Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. He fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.”

“Karl was hit yesterday playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.”

“John was absent yesterday because he had a stomach.”

“Please excuse Gloria. She has been sick and under the doctor.”

“Please excuse Sarah from being absent yesterday. She was sick and I had her shot.”

Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

Sally won’t be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.

Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps

Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn’t the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

“Please excuse Johnny for being. It was his father’s fault.”

Page Topic: Funny School Excuse Notes

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9 Responses to “Funny School Excuse Notes””

1. Cassie Says:
   October 1st, 2008 at 12:49 pm

   OMG!!!! funny stuff rite there!! lol

2. Justin Says:
   October 2nd, 2008 at 10:57 am

   Wow… It still amazes me how stupid some people are

3. Michael Alexander Says:
   October 20th, 2008 at 12:41 am

   Please excuse Brenda being late today.
   She went outside to wait for the school bus then came back inside to use the toilet, and missed it.

4. joe friday Says:
   November 6th, 2008 at 4:39 pm

   Johnny was gone friday so please execute him.

5. osiriswarlock Says:
   November 21st, 2008 at 8:15 pm

   omg.. probably if i forward this link to all my frens.. they will surely laugh until stomachache..

6. aisling Says:
   April 21st, 2009 at 1:13 pm

   my friend once got a note off her mam for not doing homework but the bus came early so all that was on the note was “Sorry…”

7. anonymous Says:
   April 30th, 2009 at 9:17 pm

   that stuff is dumb. youre all nerds

8. ChristinaMarrie Says:
   August 31st, 2009 at 8:29 pm

   wow.
   this is so friggin cool!
   i need to show all of friends.
   because we are SO into school, we need to like make fun of people who are stupid.
   lolololol
   what ur guys gpa?
   mine is friggin perfect
   my parents are so proud
   HARVARD BABY!
   you all suck because you arent good at school.

9. Aleks Says:
   September 1st, 2009 at 7:31 pm

   Hey you forgot another dumb/hilarious absence note,
   I promise this is real, I found it on another website, that’s how it goes
   “Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the shits. [words in ()’s were crossed out.]“

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Section: Funny English Bloopers & Mistakes