Catchiest. Song. Ever.

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Funny Resume Mistakes

Here are some funny resume mistakes:

“Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.”

“Education: College, August 1880- May 1984.”

“Work Experience: Dealing with customers’ conflicts that arouse.”

“Develop and recommend an annual operating expense fudget.”

“I’m a rabid typist.”

“Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain operation.”
Reasons for Leaving your Previous Job:

“Responsibility makes me nervous.”

“They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning. Couldn’t work under those conditions.”

“Note: Please don’t misconstrue my 14 jobs as ‘job-hopping’. I have never quit a job.”

“Was met with a string of broken promises and lies, as well as cockroaches.”

“I was working for my mom until she decided to move.”

“The company made me a scapegoat – just like my three previous employers.”
Personal Qualities

“I’m married with 9 children. I don’t require prescription drugs.”

“I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don’t let them know of my immediate availability.”

“Number of dependents: 40.”

“Marital Status: Often. Children: Various.”

“I was proud to win the Gregg Typting Award”

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2 Responses to “Funny Resume Mistakes””

1. Anonymous Says:
   October 23rd, 2008 at 10:29 am

   WOW!

2. EFL/ESOL Teacher. Says:
   September 22nd, 2009 at 5:58 pm

   Some of these might be made up. How can someone write that they are a rabid typist instead of a rapid typist as p and b are nowhere near each other on the keyboard. Hmmm……I’m not sure……

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Section: Funny English Bloopers & Mistakes