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Funny Newspaper Headlines
Here are some funny newspaper headlines:
Grandmother of eight makes hole in one
Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing
Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
House passes gas tax onto senate
Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan
Two convicts evade noose, jury hung
William Kelly was fed secretary
Milk drinkers are turning to powder
Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted
Quarter of a million Chinese live on water
Farmer bill dies in house
Page Topic: Funny Newspaper Headlines
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31 Responses to “Funny Newspaper Headlines””
COMMENT (Not all comments are approved, including rude comments and those with strong language).
Section: Funny English Bloopers & Mistakes
January 27th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
“Anyone who breaks the law is at risk of being arrested”-
quote from the Contra Costa Times
February 13th, 2008 at 8:27 am
Current funny headline on cnn.com (morning of Wednesday, Feb 13 2008) — “Roger Clemens arrives for hearing on steroids”
February 19th, 2008 at 7:29 pm
Obama beats Hillary in Wisconsin. Hillary runs to Texas.
February 24th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
Blind people are seeing their way to the eye doctor
March 9th, 2008 at 8:02 pm
Royals To Get A Taste Of Angels’ Colon
That is the best sports headline ever!
March 30th, 2008 at 6:57 am
Painting found by tree
April 11th, 2008 at 9:51 am
Mad Cow Chases Farmer With Ax.
That was my cow! I can’t beleive old Bessie did that! Maybe the time the rabid raccoon bit her had something to do with it. I knew I should have taken her and it to the vet to get shot.
April 17th, 2008 at 10:24 am
an unsuspected message-
i love you… from your wife!
May 1st, 2008 at 2:20 pm
The IQ of the group is the lowest IQ of a member of the group divided
by the number of people in the group.
—————————————————————————————————-
http://ebloggy.com/wendellgregorycm
May 15th, 2008 at 8:00 am
I think yall should put more George Bush headlines I liked them
May 22nd, 2008 at 6:05 pm
“War Dims Hope For Peace”
“Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian takes over”
“Miners Refuse To Work After Death”
“Enfield, London, Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide”
“Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charges”
“Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says”
“Is There A Ring of Debris Around Uranus?”
“Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half”
“Hospitals Are Sued By Seven Foot Doctors”
“If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile”
“Typhoon Rips Through Cemetary; Hundreds Dead”
June 1st, 2008 at 5:22 pm
Detectives who uncovered the remains of a man buried in a suitcase “strongly believe” that he was murdered.
June 3rd, 2008 at 3:23 pm
Shell found on beach
June 9th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
Oregonian said this a few weeks ago
“Hillary wins Puerto Rico, Race doesn’t change”
June 28th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
Drug Baron hides crack in pants
June 29th, 2008 at 11:49 pm
those r all so good how funny i was all like no way! that is so funny i can’t really put it in any simpilar terms it was just sooooo good you should do stand up keep u p the good work i love it that so funny i’m still lafing!!!!!!!!!!!
July 10th, 2008 at 7:44 am
I found this one in Sweden
Munching Swedish Beaver Causes Blackout. and just incase you think I’m making this up, here’s the source.
http://www.thelocal.se/616/20041111/
July 15th, 2008 at 12:23 pm
“Council to stamp on Dog Mess”
“Patient at Death’s Door - Doctor’s pull him through”
“Body scan on drugs runner reveals $4000 in Crack”
“Man fatally murdered”
“Family of 17 defects from North Korea”
“Gunman shot by 999 Cops”
And one of my personal favourites….
“Mrs Ryedeils bust revealed to a nearby school”
July 31st, 2008 at 10:38 am
Sun Blamed for Warming of Earth and Other Worlds
By Ker Than, LiveScience Staff Writer
posted: 12 March 2007 07:27 am ET
October 6th, 2008 at 8:43 am
Mayor Fights Erection in Town Square
That one reffers to an erection of a statue. Get your minds out of the gutter!!!!
November 3rd, 2008 at 2:46 pm
12 Remain Dead
November 15th, 2008 at 7:34 am
Staunton News Leader - Head Line
Man found dead in city cemetary
Ya reckon’???
November 23rd, 2008 at 1:03 pm
¡este sitio es tan divertido!! ¡lo amo!
November 30th, 2008 at 7:37 pm
I lol’d
December 3rd, 2008 at 9:26 am
“iraqi head seeks arms”
“eye drops off shelf”
“something went wrong in jet crash, experts say”
December 19th, 2008 at 3:45 pm
How about this one in today’s Palm Beach Post:
“Second man found shot dead in car in Riviera Beach”
My question is “how big was the car?” that they didn’t see the second man when they found the first one!
December 30th, 2008 at 3:05 pm
Here’s one, “Local Schools Eye Cuts”
January 30th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
“Haddock tried for murder”
February 4th, 2009 at 4:17 pm
From CNN
“Pot-smoking Whoopi says back off Phelps”
March 20th, 2009 at 10:09 pm
British left waffles on Falkland islands
March 23rd, 2009 at 6:39 pm
man sentinced to death for seccond time in two years