Funny and TOO CUTE! The Valentine's Day Song:
And here's the CATCHIEST ONE MINUTE SONG You will hear today.
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Funny Newspaper Classified Ads- Page One
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2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, Perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess.
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Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.
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A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.
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Dinner Special — Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.
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For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
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Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.
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Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
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Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.
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Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.
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We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
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For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.
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For Sale — Eight puppies from a German Shepperd and an Alaskan Hussy.
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Great Dames for sale.
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Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.
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Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
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Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
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Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.
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If you think you’ve seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachasis Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Jean de la Fontain, and Chopin.
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Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.
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The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other athletic facilities.
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Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.
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Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.
Page Topic: Funny Newspaper Classified Ads




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2 Responses to “Funny Newspaper Classified Ads- Page One””
COMMENT (Not all comments are approved, including rude comments and those with strong language).
Section: Funny English Bloopers & Mistakes


July 4th, 2008 at 3:45 am
HILARIOUS!!!
September 1st, 2009 at 8:35 am
LOL still laughing