Funny Hotel Signs

Visitors are expected to complain at the office 
between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
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The lift is being fixed for the next day. 
During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
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Please bathe inside the tub.
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Do not go out except emergency.
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At the end of a hotel legal disclaimer:
The management of this hotel can not be held.
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From an elevator
DO NOT USE ELEVATOR WHILE CAUSING FIRE.
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Sign in a hotel parking garage:
Please get a punch at window.
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. 
If you are not a person to do such thing 
is please not to read notis.
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On a hotel fire extinguisher:
Cease Fire.

Funny Signs on Products

On a box of fine tissues:
Skin will be touched softly and gently by 
100% high quality pulp.
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On a shampoo bottle:
Use repeatedly for severe damage.
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On the packaging of a sir fry pan.
Do not use mental tools for prolonging 
the life of the pan.
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From the packaging of a brand of medicine.

Expiration date: 2 years

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On another bottle of medicine.

Known to cure itching, colds, stomachs, 
brains, and other diseases.

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On a sports drink bottle:

Pocari Sweat Refreshment water

Funny restaurant Signs

Our great food will never leave you!
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Please leave a pet outside.
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It will take about 1 minute to fix a hot drink.  
Please wail.
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We serve people like you as good food!
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Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
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Special today -- no ice cream.
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CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE 
OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.
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“Colorful dining space surrounded by stained glasses."
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Sign in a cafeteria
Please keep chair on position and keep table cleaned after dying.

Other Funny Signs

  
On a cash register:
Sorry. We can not change.
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Outside a tailor shop:
Ladies have fits upstairs.
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In an advertisement by a dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
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In an airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.
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In a zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have 
any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
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Babysitting ad by college students:
"Please call us! We will provide you with any emergency."
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Private school:
NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.
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Signs on trash cans in an amusement 
park
PLEASE WASTE
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Sign in a train station:
For restrooms, go back toward your behind.
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A flush button in subway toilet:
You lady will push this button before leaving.

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From the cover of a notebook
My heart is very flammable 
when I see your beautiful eyes.
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River highway sign:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, 
THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.