Funny English Mistakes
Funny mistakes are from new English students. If you have
ever tried to learn a new language, you know how hard it can be! We
will all make many, many mistakes, and some will sound a little funny
to native speakers. That's OK- It's part of learning. And a good sense
of humor can help us have a good attitude and enjoy ourselves while we
learn. So, enjoy these actual funny mistakes from students I have
taught.
A Funny Love Song
Compiled from lyrics of love songs
translated
into English by ESL students.
From morning’s glaring sun to the smelly
afternoon,
You are always inside my lonely
brain.
I hope we meet in an accident very
soon.
My heart will not stop hemorrhaging
for you.
The night you squeezed me I visited
heaven.
Your love flies me swiftly into a
mountain.
You make my heart
sour.
One day, you will startle yourself
and say “oh no!
Why did I walk the opposite direction of
him?
Like the fishes need the ocean
beach, I need you.
When you kiss me, you make my blood
evaporate.
Your lovely, unwrinkly skin requests
my attention
You will always be my lemon moon ray lover.
Politics and Government
The
second Word War had much propaganda
*
At
that time, one of the most important weapons was the rocket lawn chair.
*
The
President got off the plane and gave a big kiss to the first ladder.
*
The
police were attacked by a large group
of angry mops.
*
The
American President is very powerful. For one thing, he chooses the supreme coat
judges.
Science
A bottom
dweller is a fish that mostly dwells on bottoms.
*
Do you know what
“elevation” means?
Yes. It means we
all came from Dinosaur eggs.
*
Isaac Newton was
the first discoverer of gravy.
*
The ocean is usually
located near the coast.
*
The unihorn is an
animal that has always been extinct
*
We sent some
robots to mars but they
refused to come back
*
There are many
arguments how was the universe made. Some astrolomers belive in the big band
theory.
*
There
are still plenty of fossil fools.
*
The
article said there are only maybe five thousand beers left in B.C. This is a
very serious problem… I think maybe we should only let very small people go
beer hunting every year.
Funny Mistakes about
The Fur Trade
All over
Europe people wanted more animal hair.
*
The
Hudson
Bay company
was found in the
Canada woods.
*
Fur hunters
catch furry animals, wash them,
and dry them, and then sell them for
women
who wear them at fancy parties.
*
Many people
in England wore beavers
and other big
rodents like the French.
*
Most
beavers and foxes died and went to Europe.
*
The new
pioneer people ate most of the barffalo.
*
Fortunately, now most people have
fake fur.
A Day of Tutoring
Should I have a coma in the middle of this sentence?
*
I am sorry I am later.
It took me ten minutes to ignite
my car.
*
Am I making P correctly?
*
Did you
have an accident?
When I was skiing, a tree got in front of me
and hit
me hard!
*
You called at the perfect time.
I just walked into a
door.
*
Please don't shoot so many people in my country.
What?
Please don't
shoot people in my country very often.
Could you say it really slowly?
Police don't shoot people in my country very often.
*
I'm sorry, but I couldn't write my essay.
My roommate
had a toothache this morning.
So you couldn't write your
essay?
Yes! She was swelling and decaying badly!
*
What did
you do this weekend?
We went to a Karaoke bar.
Did you sing?
Yes. I was
shy but I strongly did it.
What did you sing?
"You
are the wind beneath my wigs."
Funny Weather Mistakes
This morning, I was walking outside,
when suddenly a
big shower fell on me!
*
Today the waiter is cold and wet and a little windy.
*
When a volcan explodes, millions
of tons of larva can
bury a city.
*
I was very tired last night
so my friend let me crash
into his apartment.
*
We have a big problem at my house.
What
is it?
Our toilet is out of odor. I'm a little upset.
Parents
My mother is an
inferior decorator.
*
My father is a highly
rank
government official.
*
My mother wants me to marry a good, successful
man,
but I want to marry my boyfriend.
*
My father has to wear expensive
business dresses to
work everyday.
*
I always ate lunch at
school.
But every day my mother made me suffer.
*
My father is one of my favorite
parents.
Health
Last night, when I ate dinner I started
joking.
My friend hit my back very hard
until I stopped.
I was so lucky he was there!
*
My shoes smell bad.
I think they have athletes food in them.
*
My leg has been breaking for
three weeks.
*
I
probably should have gone to the doctor
one
ear ago.
How To Sky Dive in the Ocean
I know how to sky
dive in the ocean.
*
You have to put
big bottles on your back
so you can have good breath.
*
You should have
big rubber feet.
*
At this time, put
the glass over your face
so your eyes don’t get salted.
*
Then you can jump
on the ocean.
*
Try not to get
water in your snozzle.
*
This is how you
can drown in water without being dangerous.
School
Unfortunately, the school board was forced to
cut
fifteen percent off all teachers.
*
Every day I study hardly.
*
If I study really hard, I will graduate in 2004 years.
*
I am studied hard in science class.
Food
Do you like this food?
I made it from
scratching!
*
I never liked mushrooms,
but now they are starting
to grow in me.
*
My friends visited last night and
we served a nice pig
dinner.
*
Are you hungry? I have dirty toes.
You
have what?
Dirty toes. In my back pack.
Um, can
you spell that?
Maybe D-O-R-I-T-O-S. Do you
Want to try
one?
No thanks. I'm not so hungry
right
now.
Next, Put the cabbages in salt water.
Then sit in the sink
until the morning.
Don't forget to insult the soup.
I really believe our wedding will last until we die.
He had such a worm heart.
The deafened ant entered the court room.
Once I tripped all the way to Hawaii.
