Online
Degrees and Programs Information Guide
FROM
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Fast English Degrees online
If you are thinking about getting an online English degree, one of the
first things to do is make sure you are clear about your own personal
and professional goals, to help you find a bachelors of English or
master's of English degree program that fits for you. Are you
looking for a quick piece of paper, without much concern how well it
would hold up under scrutiny? Are you looking for the most respected
degree you could possibly get, even if it takes a great deal of time
and effort? Or are you looking for something somewhere in the middle,
with real learning, real work, and also that doesn't take too long.
Once you know what you are looking for, it can be easier to find the
right on-line English program for you. But don't be fooled into
thinking a good, quality, accredited and respected online English degre
is going to be quick and easy. It will take some real work. That
isn't a bad thing. When you are finished, you will know you EARNED your
degree- and can be proud of what you have done.
What courses and requirements to expect from an online English degree program
Of course, it
varies from program to program, school to school, but in general,
depending on the focus of your program, in an bachelors of Arts in
English, you may be expected to:
-read and analyze important literary writings.
- exmanine critically some of the issues that arise within the literature.
- develop literary research skills, including information gathering and analysis.
- develop knowledge about the major authors and contributions to
English literature, and be able to compare, contrast and analyze
various literary works, genres and styles.
- Develop the ability to communicate ideas clearly, both orally and in writing.
- Demonstrate excellent comprehension of the writing process both creatively and technically.
Online Master of Arts English degree
The Master of
Arts degree in English will most likely further develop all of the
above skills and knowedge, as well as help the student excel in their
knowedge of both English writing and English literature throughout
history. The M.A. in English degree is perfect for teachers who
want to advance and add this credential to their resume, and also
perfect for those wanting to go forward with a Ph.D. degree in English,
which can open doors to teach at universities and colleges as an
instructor or professor.
Professor jokes
- After confirming everyone's names on the roll, thank the class for attending
"Advanced Astrodynamics 690" and mention that yesterday was the last day to
drop.
- Ask students to list their favorite showtunes on a signup sheet. Criticize
their choices and make notes in your grade book.
- Gradually speak softer and softer and then suddenly point to a student and
scream "YOU! WHAT DID I JUST SAY?"
- Deliver your lecture through a hand puppet. If a student asks you a question
directly, say in a high-pitched voice, "The Professor can't hear you, you'll
have to ask *me*, Winky Willy".
- Ask the class to read Jenkins through Johnson of the local phone book by the
next lecture. Vaguely imply that there will be a quiz.
- If someone asks a question, walk silently over to their seat, hand them your
piece of chalk, and ask, "Would YOU like to give the lecture, Mr. Smartypants?"
- Pick out random students, ask them questions, and time their responses with
a stop watch. Record their times in your grade book while muttering "tsk, tsk".
- Announce "you'll need this", and write the suicide prevention hotline number
on the board.
- Start the lecture by dancing and lip-syncing to James Brown's "Sex Machine."
- Mention in passing that you're wearing rubber underwear.
- Have one of your graduate students sprinkle flower petals ahead of you as
you pace back and forth.
- Turn off the lights, play a tape of crickets chirping, and begin singing
spirituals.
- Ask for a volunteer for a demonstration. Ask them to fill out a waiver as
you put on a lead apron and light a blowtorch.
- Every so often, freeze in mid sentence and stare off into space for several
minutes. After a long, awkward silence, resume your sentence and proceed
normally.
- After turning on the overhead projector, clutch your chest and scream "MY
PACEMAKER!"
- Devote your math lecture to free verse about your favorite numbers and ask
students to "sit back and groove".
- Announce that last year's students have almost finished their class
projects.
- Wear a feather boa and ask students to call you "Snuggles".
- Claim to be a chicken. Squat, cluck, and produce eggs at irregular
intervals.
- Bring a CPR dummy to class and announce that it will be the teaching
assistant for the semester. Assign it an office and office hours.
- Sprint from the room in a panic if you hear sirens outside.
- Pass out dental floss to students and devote the lecture to oral hygiene.
- Announce that the entire 32-volume Encyclopedia Britannica will be required
reading for your class. Assign a report on Volume 1, Aardvark through Armenia,
for next class.
- Tell your math students that they must do all their work in a base 11 number
system. Use a complicated symbol you've named after yourself in place of the
number 10 and threaten to fail students who don't use it.
- Refer frequently to students who died while taking your class.
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