Online Degrees and Programs Information GuideFROM
INNOCENTENGLISH.COM, FEATURED ON:
|
|
Accredited online diplomas: Getting a fast on line dgree from a good distance programsSome people are looking for a fast on-line life experience degree, and aren't concerned about the quality of the school. Others want a respected on-line degree school that also gives some life experience credit, and still others expect to work their way through a two or three year part time online degree program to get a degree they can be proud of and their current or future employers can respect. Whatever you are looking for, the most important thing is to check out your options carefully on line, and be sure you know what you are getting with whichever online courses you choose to take. Don't be afraid to ask questions and be sure to read the fine print. It's a big decision, and an expensive one. Be sure you end up with everything you were expecting. COLLEGE JOKES AND HUMOR: THE DEFINITION OF A KISS ACCORDING TO PROFESSORS IN DIFFERENT FIELDS:Prof. of Computer Science: A kiss is a few bits of love compiled into a byte. Prof. of Algebra: A kiss is two divided by nothing. Prof. of Geometry: A kiss is the shortest distance between two straight lines. Prof. of Physics: A kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the heart. Prof. of Chemistry: A kiss is the reaction of the interaction between two hearts. Prof. of Zoology: A kiss is the interchange of unisexual salivary bacteria. Prof. of Physiology: A kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicular ors muscles in the state of contraction. Prof. of Dentistry: A kiss is infectious and antiseptic. Prof. of Accountancy: A kiss is a credit because it is profitable when returned. Prof. of Economics: A kiss is that thing for which the demand is higher than the supply. Prof. of Statistics: A kiss is an event whose probability depends on the vital statistics of 36-24-36. Prof. of Philosophy: A kiss is the persecution for the child, ecstasy for the youth and homage for the old. Prof. of English: A kiss is a noun that is used as a conjunction; it is more common than proper; it is spoken in the plural and it is applicable to all. Prof. of Engineering: Uh, What? I'm not familiar with that term.
Funny University Application LetterDear sir or Mam, I would like to apply for a colege degre. I have real smarts, mostly self-learned though you wood not no it. I can read real advanced, and can also write Engish and other langauges. I’m a real lingist. My communicatoin skils are to die for- least my Ma said that on her death bed. Maybe I could be a nurse or emergency technician or minister or divinity expert like a chaplain. Or maybe all three! And I have been studyng up on a lot of majer subjcts. A distants correspondance coarse would help me get some educatoin and gradjuate with a deploma. I'm not so certian yet which degee I want to get, but I know it shouldn't be in mathmatics or enginering. I'm not so good with engines, or any technology like electrical lights and electronics and such. I can’t even see electrons- they make them so small these days! I’m good at accounting though. I’m always a counting my finances, which I keep mostly in my pocket for safe keeping. I could be an economist but maybe just for one person at a time. I was thinking about maybe crimnal justice, becuase I think justise is a good idea as long as it is fair. I’d be a real fine judge, in my estimation. Or a lawyer or even an attorney. I really like counseling too. But my therapy is almost over cuss of insurence running low. But my therpist says I'm good and ready to cross that line and move on to a greener pastor. Dunno why a pastor would be green, unless he ate my potato salad! Anyhoo, so if you'd consider me for one of your bachelor dgrees I'd be pleased as punch- not that I drink you understand. I mean I drink water, for sure. Maybe I should study biology or nutrition or agriculture. Yeah, maybe a bachelers dgree in farming, and then I could work my way up to being a master of something, then a docter- if you have docterate pograms that is. I mean, not like a health or medical degre- I mean one of those P hd diplomas you get from taking a bunch of tough courses for a year and wrting a theses or disertation or something. I do a lot of writing, though mostly in my head. Maybe I could be a great socail scientist or busines profesional. I could even maybe be like the head of the univercity program and then maybe even become a political science sientist politicain! YEAHI could be President! President of the whole country- not just part of it! Course, fist I guess I should enquire- do you guys have like a GED highschool diploma progrm? I mean, just to get all warmed up? P.S. Please reply quickly as I am 94 years young and I’m told by my social worker and parol officer I have some geriatric tendencies which I’m guessing is some kind of code for being a hit with the ladies. Or hit by them anyway. Much abliged, B.A. Johnston, Graduate of the University of Hard Knocks. © InnocententEnglish.com |