Online
Degrees and Programs Information Guide
FROM
INNOCENTENGLISH.COM, FEATURED ON:
Readers Digest Best of
the Web, Canadian Learning TV, Book Television,
NBC4.TV
Los Angeles, WNBC.Com New York, Chicago Sun-Times,
About.com-Humor site of the day, Go Daddy Radio, CBC Radio, radio
stations throughout the U.S., and others.
|
Fast English Degrees online
If you are thinking about getting an online Masters of English degree,
one of the first things to do is make sure you are clear about your own
personal and professional goals, to help you find an online English
degree program that fits for you. Are you looking for a quick
piece of paper, without much concern how well it would hold up under
scrutiny? Are you looking for the most respected degree you could
possibly get, even if it takes a great deal of time and effort? Or are
you looking for something somewhere in the middle, with real learning,
real work, and also that doesn't take too long.
Once you know what you are looking for, it can be easier to find the
right on-line English program for you. But don't be fooled into
thinking a good, quality, accredited and respected online English degre
is going to be quick and easy. It will take some real work. That
isn't a bad thing. When you are finished, you will know you EARNED your
degree- and can be proud of what you have done.
What courses and requirements to expect from a Masters of Arts from an online Master's English degree program
It varies
from program to program, but in general, depending on
the focus of your program, you may
be expected to:
-read and analyze important literary writings.
- exmanine critically some of the issues that arise within the literature.
- develop literary research skills, including information gathering and analysis.
-
develop knowledge about the major authors and contributions to English
literature, and be able to compare, contrast and analyze various
literary works, genres and styles.
- Develop the ability to communicate ideas clearly, both orally and in writing.
- Demonstrate excellent comprehension of the writing process both creatively and technically.
The
M.A. in English degree is perfect for teachers who want to move forward
in the career and salary, and also perfect for those wanting to go
forward with a Ph.D. degree in English, which can open doors to teach
at universities and colleges as an instructor or professor.
College and university
humor and jokes
Things to do when writing your term paper:
- Type every word of your essay in a different font. Alternate really big
fonts with really small fonts.
- Support your thesis with quotes from your DVD manual.
- Write the entire assignment on Post-it notes; hand it in by sticking them
all over the professor's door.
- Write a paper discussing why Michelangelo got to be a Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtle, but Van Gogh didn't. Discuss whether Van Gogh would have used nunchakus
or katanas.
- Perfume the paper with catnip. Explain that it was to keep your dog from
eating it.
- If assigned a paper in philosophy class, explain that you can't do the paper
because you're not sure if the class really exists, or if it and the professor
are just illusions created by your subconscious. If you do end up writing the
paper, write about whether or not the paper actually exists.
- If assigned a 2000-word essay, draw two pictures of what the paper was
supposed to be about. After all, a picture is worth 1000 words, right?
- Cite issues of Spiderman and Batman as resources in your bibliography.
- Hand in the essay by making paper airplanes out of the pages of the paper
and attempting to fly them onto the professor's desk.
- The night before the paper is due, call the professor and explain that you
can't turn your paper in because it contains sensitive military information and
is only available on a "need to know" basis. Insist that General Schwarzkopf
says you should get an 'A'.
- Write your history paper on parchment, using a quill. Say that you were
trying to get the feel for the period.
- Hand in a letter you wrote to your cousin. When the teacher confronts you
about it, say that you must have gotten the letter and the paper mixed up. Say
that you'll turn the paper in as soon as you get it back, but your cousin lives
in Siberia, so it might take a while. (This is a nifty way to get an extension.)
- When writing an especially long paper, put a recipe for chocolate cake in
the middle and see if the professor notices.
- Tell the professor that you need an extension because one of your primary
sources is an old wise man in Tibet and he won't see you until the next full
moon.
- Paint a large white stripe down the front of your paper. Say that on the way
to class, your dropped it in the street and it got run over by one of those
trucks that paint lines on the road.
- Make a footprint on the back of one of the pages. When questioned by the
professor, act like it's nothing unusual. After all, he did tell you to include
footnotes.
- Bring candles and incense to class. Before handing in the paper, perform an
elaborate ceremony, entreating the gods to bless the paper and correct all your
typos.
- Make a tape of you singing the contents of your paper, opera-style, and hand
that in.
- Write your psychology essay on possible genetic anomalies that might cause a
person to prefer anchovies.
- TTyyppee eevveerryy lleetttteerr ttwwiiccee..
- Get a large piece of paper or canvas. Smear paint all over it and hand it in
as your paper. Explain that the topic was such an emotional one for you, and
that mere words couldn't possibly express what you had to say.
- Refuse to do the paper on account of the fact that you are a member of
Greenpeace and strongly object to the gratuitous slaughter of trees caused by
the massive amount of paper used in writing assignments.
- Put nonsense words down as quotes. Say that you are quoting the words of a
well-known Zen master who was speaking in tongues at the time.
- Use a forklift to bring your paper to class, even if it's only a few pages.
Explain that it involved some very heavy reading.
- Poke several holes in the paper. Say that you were mobbed by crows on the
way to class.
|
|
