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Degrees and Programs Information Guide
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Computer Science Degrees & Programs
If you are thinking about getting an online IT degree or computer
sciences or Engineering degree, the first question is which computer
degree program is the best? Every month there are more available, some
from new online schools and some as extentions of tried and true
traditional universities. Most people's first question is
"how
long does a computer science degree take?" Well, the answers are 1) It
depends on the program and 2) if it's too short, if the degree is too
fast, potential employers may not be impressed with your
diploma.
And it's almost a certainty they will carefully check out
your
educational background, so that even if there were no ethical
considerations, taking a major short cut and getting an overnight
computer degree from a diploma mill, or choosing a very fast computer
degree, may not be the smartest options. As you search for
the
best school for you, be sure you have a thorough understanding of what
will be expected of you, how flexible the program, all the fees, and so
forth. Ask a lot of questions. You are considering paying
the
school a LOT of money for tuition, fees, etc. So don't hold back.
Making an informed decision about which computer sciences or
computer engineering or IT degree program is best for you is the best
way to be sure you don't regret it.
Computer Humor and jokes:
Quick guide to Computer programming languages:
The proliferation of modern programming languages (all of which seem to
have stolen countless features from one another) sometimes makes it
difficult to remember what language you're currently using. This handy
reference is offered as a public service to help programmers who find
themselves in such a dilemma.
TASK: Shoot yourself in the foot.
C: You shoot yourself in the foot.
C++: You accidentally create a dozen instances of yourself and shoot
them all in the foot. Providing emergency medical assistance is
impossible since you can't tell which are bitwise copies and which are
just pointing at others and saying, "That's me, over there."
FORTRAN: You shoot yourself in each toe, iteratively, until you run out
of toes, then you read in the next foot and repeat. If you run out of
bullets, you continue with the attempts to shoot yourself anyways
because you have no exception-handling capability.
Pascal: The compiler won't let you shoot yourself in the foot.
Ada: After correctly packing your foot, you attempt to concurrently
load the gun, pull the trigger, scream, and shoot yourself in the foot.
When you try, however, you discover you can't because your foot is of
the wrong type.
COBOL: Using a COLT 45 HANDGUN, AIM gun at LEG.FOOT, THEN place
ARM.HAND.FINGER on HANDGUN.TRIGGER and SQUEEZE. THEN return HANDGUN to
HOLSTER. CHECK whether shoelace needs to be re-tied.
LISP: You shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with
which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with
which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with
which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with
which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with
which you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds...
FORTH: Foot in yourself shoot.
Prolog: You tell your program that you want to be shot in the foot. The
program figures out how to do it, but the syntax doesn't permit it to
explain it to you.
BASIC: Shoot yourself in the foot with a water pistol. On large
systems, continue until entire lower body is waterlogged.
Visual Basic: You'll really only appear to have shot yourself in the
foot, but you'll have had so much fun doing it that you won't care.
HyperTalk: Put the first bullet of gun into foot left of leg of you.
Answer the result.
Motif: You spend days writing a UIL description of your foot, the
bullet, its trajectory, and the intricate scrollwork on the ivory
handles of the gun. When you finally get around to pulling the trigger,
the gun jams.
APL: You shoot yourself in the foot, then spend all day figuring out
how to do it in fewer characters.
SNOBOL: If you succeed, shoot yourself in the left foot. If you fail,
shoot yourself in the right foot.
Unix:
% ls
foot.c foot.h foot.o toe.c toe.o
% rm * .o
rm:.o no such file or directory
% ls
%
Concurrent Euclid: You shoot yourself in somebody else's foot.
370 JCL: You send your foot down to MIS and include a 400-page document
explaining exactly how you want it to be shot. Three years later, your
foot comes back deep-fried.
Paradox: Not only can you shoot yourself in the foot, your users can,
too.
Access: You try to point the gun at your foot, but it shoots holes in
all your Borland distribution diskettes instead.
Revelation: You're sure you're going to be able to shoot yourself in
the foot, just as soon as you figure out what all these nifty little
bullet-thingies are for.
Assembler: You try to shoot yourself in the foot, only to discover you
must first invent the gun, the bullet, the trigger, and your foot.
Modula2: After realizing that you can't actually accomplish anything in
this language, you shoot yourself in the head.
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