A short funny song: I Got a Pea

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Daily Quick Break: January 4, 2008: Top 50 Woody Allen Quotes and One Liners

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Woody Allen has over 40 years of great quotes, jokes and one liners, so there can be no definitive list of the top 50 Woody Allen quotes. But this is a pretty good attempt at rounding up 50 of the best and funniest Woody Allen quotes, jokes and lines from his movies and books. 

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
- Woody Allen

I’m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
- Woody Allen

 On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
- Woody Allen

 Remember, if you smoke after sex you’re doing it too fast.
- Woody Allen

Some drink deeply from the river of knowledge. Others only gargle.
- Woody Allen

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
- Woody Allen

The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife – a depressing thought, particularly for those who have bothered to shave. Also thereis the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it’s being held.
- Woody Allen

To read the rest, go to: Top 50 Woody Allen Quotes and One Liners

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28 Responses to “Caption this Pic”

  1. Mike Says:
    January 4th, 2008 at 3:31 pm

    Come to the Darkside!

  2. scott Says:
    January 4th, 2008 at 4:02 pm

    “I will get you” seems like what this dog is saying.

  3. scott Says:
    January 4th, 2008 at 4:03 pm

    revenge is what i seek

  4. scott Says:
    January 4th, 2008 at 4:04 pm

    join the dark side young jedi night.

  5. kate Says:
    January 4th, 2008 at 5:11 pm

    this pix is the coolest thing i ever saw!! that dog is so sweet! if that is a Shih tzu, i have one 2!!!! this pix now my back ground!

  6. amanda Says:
    January 4th, 2008 at 5:20 pm

    this dog looks madd!

  7. amanda Says:
    January 4th, 2008 at 5:20 pm

    im angry

  8. jake Says:
    January 4th, 2008 at 5:51 pm

    ‘and where have you been all evening?’

  9. cheri Says:
    January 4th, 2008 at 6:25 pm

    Dont even talk to me…

  10. sassafras Says:
    January 4th, 2008 at 6:45 pm

    i will eat you

  11. Nate Says:
    January 4th, 2008 at 8:55 pm

    Where is your god now?!

  12. Hunter Says:
    January 4th, 2008 at 9:17 pm

    Bob here, will take over the world.

  13. Your Mother Says:
    January 4th, 2008 at 10:07 pm

    where the hell are my COOKIES???

  14. GG Says:
    January 4th, 2008 at 11:26 pm

    Oh Yeah, BRING IT!!

  15. Lily Says:
    January 5th, 2008 at 12:18 am

    Aww, look at the cute wittle… AHHHHHH! GET IT OFF ME! IT’S GOT MY NECCCCCCKKKKKKK!

  16. OneOfAKind Says:
    January 5th, 2008 at 12:47 am

    Who The hell Does This Guy Think He Is?

  17. sam Says:
    January 5th, 2008 at 2:39 am

    you won’t be saying ‘nice wittle doggy’ very much longer.

  18. KaTE Says:
    January 5th, 2008 at 3:19 am

    Bloody cat lovers i hate u all

  19. Jamie Says:
    January 5th, 2008 at 3:57 am

    I suggest you don’t piss me off!

  20. michael Says:
    January 5th, 2008 at 5:43 am

    It’s after midnight. Feed me!

  21. sheri Says:
    January 5th, 2008 at 6:38 am

    I do not have an attitude

  22. Anonymous Says:
    January 5th, 2008 at 7:16 am

    Go away cat lover

  23. Anonymous Says:
    January 5th, 2008 at 8:22 am

    you sass me one more time!

  24. Sparky, destroyer of world Says:
    January 17th, 2008 at 12:18 am

    Sparky, destroyer of worlds

  25. STOP TAKING MY PICTURE Says:
    January 25th, 2008 at 2:13 pm

    Drop that camera

  26. Shauna Says:
    February 22nd, 2008 at 12:58 pm

    Bow down to me… or i will eat your face off!

  27. leon Says:
    March 9th, 2008 at 3:16 pm

    oi y r u drinkin my mums milk it all mine:@:@

  28. Roland Deschain Says:
    October 8th, 2008 at 6:59 am

    DO YOU MIND???

    I’M TRYING TO TAKE A DUMP HER!!!!

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Section: Daily Quick Break

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