The Last Words Awards: The 20 Best Dying Words of Famous People

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to InnocentEnglish.com’s Last Words Awards, where we present awards for the Best Last Words of dying famous people. Unfortunately, none of our nominees were able to make it here tonight to receive their award in person, but rest assured they are here in spirit. 

 

So, without further adieu, here are the winners of InnocentEnglish.com’s Last words of Dying People Awards, in 20 categories.

 

Category 1: Most Fitting for the Person

 

Winner:

Either that wallpaper goes, or I do.

~ Oscar Wilde, writer, died: November 30, 1900

 

Also Nominated:

Damn it . . . Don’t you dare ask God to help me.

~ Joan Crawford. actress, died: May 10, 1977.  To her housekeeper, who had begun to pray aloud.

 

I am about to — or I am going to — die: either expression is correct.

~ Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian, died: 1702

 

That was a great game of golf, fellers.

~ Harry Lillis “Bing” Crosby, singer / actor, died: October 14, 1977

  

Category 2: Most Ironic

 

They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist. . . .

~ General John Sedgwick, Union Commander, died: 1864.  Killed in battle during US Civil War.

 

Also Nominated:

I am a Queen, but I have not the power to move my arms.

~ Louise, Queen of Prussia, died: 1820

 

I knew it. I knew it. Born in a hotel room – and God damn it – died in a hotel room.

~ Eugene O’Neill, writer, died: November 27, 1953

 

I am still alive!

~ Gaius Caligula, Roman Emperor, died:41 AD. Stabbed to death by his own guards – (as reported by Roman historian Tacitus)

 

Category 3: Most Touching

 

I love you Sarah. For all eternity, I love you.

Spoken to his wife.

~ James K. Polk, US President, died: 1849

 

Also Nominated:

Come my little one, and give me your hand.

Spoken to his daughter, Ottilie.

~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, writer, died: March 22, 1832

 

Oh, do not cry – be good children and we will all meet in heaven.

~ Andrew Jackson, US President, died: 1845

 

Category 4: Most Humorous:

 

Yes, it’s tough, but not as tough as doing comedy.

When asked if he thought dying was tough.

~ Edmund Gwenn, actor, died: September 6, 1959

 

Cateogry 5: Most Inspiring

 

I forgive everybody. I pray that everybody may also forgive me, and my blood which is about to be shed will bring peace to Mexico. Long live Mexico! Long Live Independence!

~ Maximilian, Emperor of Mexico, (Archduke Maximilian of Austria), died: June 11, 1867

 

Category 6: Worst Missed Opportunity:

 

Don’t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.

~ Pancho Villa, Mexican revolutionist, died: 1923

 

Also Nominated:

Go on, get out – last words are for fools who haven’t said enough.

To his housekeeper, who urged him to tell her his last words so she could write them down for posterity.

~ Karl Marx, revolutionary, died: 1883

 

I’m bored with it all.

Before slipping into a coma. He died 9 days later.

~ Winston Churchill, statesman, died: January 24, 1965

  

Category 7:  Most Banal

 

I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.

~ Richard Feynman, physicist, died: 1988

 

Also Nominated:

It’s all been very interesting.

~ Lady Mary Wortley Montagu, writer, died: 1762

 

Ah, that tastes nice. Thank you.

~ Johannes Brahms, composer, died: April 3, 1897

 

How were the receipts today at Madison Square Garden?

~ P. T. Barnum, entrepreneur, died: 1891

   

Category 8: Most Morbid

 

The earth is suffocating . . . Swear to make them cut me open, so that I won’t be buried alive.

Dying of tuberculosis.

~ Frederic Chopin, composer, died: October 16, 1849

  

Category 9: Most Kingly

 

A King should die standing.

~ Louis XVIII, King of France, died: 1824

 

Also Nominated::

Why do you weep. Did you think I was immortal?

~ Louis XIV, King of France, died: 1715

  

Category 10: That sums it up award

 

God bless… God damn.

~ James Thurber, humorist, died: 1961

 

Category 11: Most Ready for Death

 

Now comes the mystery!

~ Henry Ward Beecher, evangelist, died: March 8, 1887

 

Also Nominated:

 

Nothing, but death.

When asked by her sister, Cassandra, if there was anything she wanted.

~ Jane Austen, writer, died: July 18, 1817

 

Adieu, mes amis. Je vais la gloire.

(Farewell, my friends! I go to glory!)

~ Isadora Duncan, dancer, died: 1927

 

I am about to take my last voyage, a great leap in the dark.

~ Thomas Hobbes, writer, died: 1679

 

This is the last of earth! I am content.

~ John Quincy Adams, US President, died: February 21, 1848

 

Friends applaud, the comedy is finished.

~ Ludwig van Beethoven, composer, died: March 26, 1827

 

I am ready.

~ Woodrow Wilson, US President, died: 1924

  

Category 12: Most Brave

 

I know you have come to kill me. Shoot coward, you are only going to kill a man.

Facing his assassin, Mario Teran, a Bolivian soldier.

~ Ernesto “Che” Guevara, died: October 9, 1967

 

Also Nominated:

Let’s cool it brothers . . .

Spoken to his assassins, 3 men who shot him 16 times.

~ Malcolm X, Black leader, died: 1966

 

I die hard but am not afraid to go.

~ George Washington, US President, died: December 14, 1799

  

Category 13: Most Shakespearian

 

All is lost. Monks, monks, monks!

~ Henry VIII, King of England, died: 1547

 

Also Nominated::

All my possessions for a moment of time.

~ Elizabeth I, Queen of England, died: 1603

  

Category 14: Most arrogant

 

Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.

~ John Barrymore, actor, died: May 29, 1942

 

Category 15: Saddest

 

I have offended God and mankind because my work did not reach the quality it should have.

~ Leonardo da Vinci, artist, died: 1519

 

Category 16: Most intoxicated

 

I’ve had eighteen straight whiskies, I think that’s the record . . .

~ Dylan Thomas, poet, died: 1953

 

Also Nominated::

I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.

~ Humphrey Bogart, actor, died: January 14, 1957

 

Category 17: Most melodramatic

 

Curtain! Fast music! Light! Ready for the last finale! Great! The show looks good, the show looks good!

~ Florenz Ziegfeld. Showman, died: July 22, 1932

 

Category 18: Most ominous

 

KHAQQ calling Itasca. We must be on you, but cannot see you. Gas is running low.

Last radio communiqué before her disappearance.

~ Amelia Earhart, died: 1937

 

Category 19: Most apropos

 

Too late for fruit, too soon for flowers.

~ Walter De La Mare, writer, died: 1956

 

Category 20: Most Patriotic: (Tie)

 

Is it the Fourth?

~ Thomas Jefferson, US President, died: July 4, 1826

 

Thomas Jefferson–still survives…

~ John Adams, US President, died: July 4, 1826. Some hours after Jefferson had died, relieved in the belief that he was still alive.

 

 

 

 

Page Topic: Last Words and Dying Words of famous people: The 20 best last words of people close to death.