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Celebrity Poems: Send in your funny poetry about celebs.
Here are some funny and stupid celebrity poems from last year. Now that the site has comments set up, if you want to submit your own funny, stupid or timely celebrity poems, about recent celeb news or anything else Celeb, just send them in the comment form below. I try to keep the site pretty clean so I probably won’t be able to approve ones that have strong language, unless some letters are replaced with *.
Cruise Control
As an actor, Tom Cruise is first rate
It’s some of the other stuff that isn’t so great
We had mostly forgiven how he dumped Nicole
And didn’t mind much his Scientology role
But then he met Katie, and everything changed
He jumped on that couch, looking crazed and insane
Suddenly the Kat was out of the bag
He was strutting and gushing and rushing to brag
We might have forgiven- New love has strange power
But then he attacked Brooke Shields and Matt Lauer
“There’s no such thing as a chemical imbalance” He blew.
“You don’t know the history of psychiatry. I do!”
Ironic but true, we say with a shrug,
Maybe it’s Tom in most need of a drug.
A quick message to Tom: Though we fear it’s begun,
If they brainwash Katie, your career is all done!
Angelina’s Big… Smile
Poor Jennifer A., the girl next door
So sweet and pretty
Not too much like a whore.
She had her dream man
They passed all the tests
Till he came too close
To Angelina’s big–
smile.
Yes, Jen had it all, but all good things must pass.
What man could resist Angelina’s big–
smile.
But Jen’s a big girl.
We know she’ll be fine
And that whole strange Vince Vaughn thing
It WILL fade in time.
Yes, the sky is the limit, or maybe beyond
(Even though most of her movies have bombed)
She’s got a future- of that there’s no question.
And it’s good all the Friends passed on season 11
(Well, unless you count “Joey”, what a mistake.
At one point I wanted to call Robert Blake.)
But the point is she’s strong, and she’ll persevere
(Hey, Billy Bob Thornton is single, I hear)
Well, we’ve all learned a lesson- it just goes to show
Don’t let your man play the husband of Angelina Jo.
With that perfect body and face it all fits.
Brad couldn’t resist kissing her big–
smile.
For Britney
February 23rd, 2006
Yes, a good mother lets her new baby nap
Safely and soundly upon her soft lap
But while driving your car far too fast down a road?
With Sean’s head near an airbag that just might explode?
While on the cell phone and eating some fries?
And putting on make up and swatting some flies?
And cleaning your nostrils of mucus and hairs?
And wearing dark glasses to avoid all the stares
And checking the rear view to see if the paparazzi is gone?
And finding a station that’s playing your song?
And steering and breast feeding, which isn’t too easy
With bumps in the road and your hands all greasy.
We’re not ones to judge- life is hard to perfect
But if this is how you show love, then what would be neglect?
A Lovers’ Quarrel
(Donald Trump and Martha Stewart)
Donald and Martha- Such passion they show!
Such fiery hearts- alive and aglow
Try as they might to hide their love
We know what those sparks are REALLY made of.
To have so much hatred- that comes from hurt
The hurt of a love that got squashed in the dirt.
Ahh- Donny and Mar Mar- What a couple they’d make
If only their egos would take a small break
But the chances of that- well we all agree
Are really quite small- like 0.3
But frankly their bickering to us is quite tired
So Don Don and Marty- Bad news. You’re both fired!
Extra Bonding:
Daniel Craig’s first day on the job as 007.
February 23rd, 2006
Joaquin Phoenix Needs a Brake
February 23rd, 2006
Joaquin played Johnny cash
With great skill and panache
But he took a sharp curve
with a touch too much verve
At which point he was starring in “Crash”.
Ode to Paris
February 23rd, 2006
hot?
Not!
Please submit your own poems about celebrities below, in the comment form. The best candidates rhyme or are otherwise “poetic”, are not too mean spirited or inappropriate for general adult audiences, and are based on relatively recent news stories or events related to celebrities or famous people. .
Page Topic: Celebrity Poems
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12 Responses to “Celebrity Poems: Send in your funny poetry about celebs.””
COMMENT (Not all comments are approved, including rude comments and those with strong language).
Section: Celebrity Central: Funny Celeb Stuff
January 14th, 2008 at 11:14 pm
There once was a little Witch
Yes Britney Spears Was a b****
She got real drunk
And took her junk
To the man alone in the ditch
February 4th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
People say shes bootyful
But I fink der craazzyy
She finks shes all dat
But shes jus a normal laddyy
She mite be glitz and glam
And yeh she she can sing
Even though she’s rich
It does’nt mean a fing
Jus cuz she’s a wag
N everyone calls her posh
She always shows off
Cuz she got so much dosh
April 16th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Amy Winehouse
You’re on the news
Like every day
For really bad stuff
It’s really gay
You’ve probably done
Like every drug
I think someone
Needs a hug
Put your crackpipe
On the shelf
Your boyfriends want
To kill themselves
Your music’s good
Your life span’s not
Your hair is black
And you like pot
May 31st, 2008 at 10:13 am
can sum1 plz do a Joel madden poem but a nice 1
June 2nd, 2008 at 9:00 pm
I love Jensen
I love Chris
I lovve Jenris
June 16th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
lol jeff good one on amy winehouse….
November 10th, 2008 at 7:41 am
NNIce.. had a laugh
November 21st, 2008 at 9:54 pm
Axl Rose
Axl Rose performed November Rain
When he suddenly felt a stabbing pain
Slash had shoved a knife in his back
Axl Rose started to quack
Axl Rose liked to sing
Axl Rose liked to wear bling
When Axl Rose lost his bandana
Axl Rose got hit in the head with a banana
Axl Rose hated David Lee Roth
One day Axl Rose went completely goth
Axl Rose ate a bee
Axl Rose was not filled with glee
Axl Roses voice was deep
Axl Roses pool was deep
One night Axl Rose got drunk
In his pool Axl Rose sunk
November 21st, 2008 at 11:57 pm
Hilary Duff
Hillary Duff o Hillary Duff
One day she got hit with a big ball of fluff
Hillary Duff o Hillary Duff
Got put in a very tight handcuff
November 21st, 2008 at 11:59 pm
Harry Potter
Harry Potter had a lovely daughter
The Daughter loved to slaughter
Poor animals underwater
Oh harry potter
November 22nd, 2008 at 12:02 am
THE BEATLES
Beatles Beatles
Ate a bag of needles
If only they could get help
They would no longer yelp
November 22nd, 2008 at 12:20 pm
SLASH
SLASH
SLASH
SLASH
SLASH