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Paris Hilton Finishes Difficult Sentence. Says She’ll Never Be Behind Bars Again

June 21, 2007. InnocentEnglish.com News Wire

Paris Hilton finished a difficult sentence yesterday, which is unusual for the heiress who often forgets what she is saying in the middle of them. She was speaking to another inmate at the prison, when she was overheard by a guard talking about how she used to go to bars, and then go out the back door and hang out with some of her socialite friends. According to the guard, who has chosen to remain anonymous in order to protect his job, Hilton said that sometimes drugs were present during those gatherings, and her friends often got “effed up”, making it often “a complete and total waste of my new Versace shoes”. She then stated “I’ll never be behind bars again! I’ll just stay in them and drink”.

“While I have heard her speak a number of times, and I think she’s almost mastered simpler and partial sentences, this was the first time I had heard her actually finish a difficult sentence. I was proud of the poor little thing. I feel like maybe the quiet time and the solid food of prison life is helping to clear her head. It’s giving her a chance to think a little. And a little is a good start.” The guard said he felt she was doing well all in all, in spite of a few difficulties, such as having trouble understanding the words “No, you can’t have a cell phone.” Or the words “No, we don’t have Prada uniforms.” “Really, it seems like just about anything starting with the word “no” confuses her a bit. Every time she hears it, she gets this cute, confused look on her face and kind of tilts her head a little, kind of like a puppy when you call it by a name it’s never heard before. But you know, we love her, and we think it’s good for her to be here, so we’re gonna tell the judge we think she should stay longer, till she’s really rehabilitated.” The guard added “You know I think this place is really transforming her life already. She said she was going to join all the major religions, you know, just to kind of make sure she gets in good with the right God. She said that after living without her facials all these days, another hell would be ‘like so not hot’”.

 

Page Topic: Paris Hilton Jail jokes and humor: Paris Finishes Difficult Sentence

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