Hundreds of thousands of  visitors have stopped by to read the Best funny pickup lines  page, (the page view counter was added months later) and a hundred have added their own favorites funny pick up lines since the comments and page views plug in were enabled a couple of months ago.  In May we will begin voting on the best pick up lines ever.

If you have a great pickup line that you think should be included in the list for voting, add it in comments here or on the Best funny pickup lines  page.  The deadline for adding new pick up lines is the end of April (we’ve extended it a month because we’re still getting some new ones). Starting in May, we’ll start the voting, to find what visitors consider to be the very best, funniest, and most effective Pick Up Lines ever. 

Page topic: Top Funny Pickup Lines: Vote on and rate on your Favorite Pick Up lines here, starting in April.

So warning- some of these pick up lines may be offensive, rude, crude, or bluntly sexual. If you are easily offended or too young for this, please stop now.

Much like a credit score, Your relationship score has serious consequences. With a high score, you can sometimes borrow from it, even heavily, without any big problems. For instance, if you have a lot of points accrued, you can probably get away with coming home very late at night, after being out with the boys all night.  You will definitely lose points, but you probably won’t go much below zero for long.  On the other hand, if you already are in the negative points, or are close to zero, there is very little freedom and leeway for you to lose points. It’s much more pressure and less enjoyable. 

So, here’s a points guide to help you see how you are gaining and losing points:

So, in the relationship game, the scoring actually works very simply: Make her happy, you get points. Make her unhappy, you lose points.  Do something she likes, SCORE. Do something she doesn’t like, lose points.  Unfortunately, you don’t get any points for doing nice things that she expects you to do. Because of this, some risky point chasers have found that if they STOP doing things that earn points temporarily, it can increase the point value of things that were previously taken for granted.  Buy her flowers every week, within a year, you don’t get points for that, but you actually lose points if you skip a week.  However, if you seldom buy her flowers, they serve as a quick point booster. particularly if you are planning anythying that could create a point deficit.

 The difficulty can come in trying to discern what will gain points and what will lose. She is a complicated mystery. As are her hormones.

Here is a guide to the points system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

    * You make the bed…..+1
    * You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows…..0
    * You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets…..-1

    * You leave the toilet seat up…..-5
    * You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty…..0
    * When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex…..-1
    * When the Kleenex runs out you use the nex t bathroom…. ; -2
    * You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings…..+5
    * In the snow …..+8
    * But return with beer…..-5
    * And no liners…..-25

    * You check out a suspicious noise at night…..0
    * You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing…..0
    * You check out a suspicious noise and it is something…..+5
    * You pummel it with a six iron…..+10
    * It’s her cat…..-40

AT THE PARTY

    * You stay by her side the entire party…..0
    * You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old drinking buddy…..-2
    * Named Tiffany…..-4
    * Tiffany is a dancer…..-10
    * With breast implants…..-18

HER BIRTHDAY

    * You remember her birthday…..0
    * You buy a card and flowers…..0
    * You take her out to dinner…..0
    * You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar…..+1
    * Okay, it is a sports bar…..-2
    * And it’s all-you-can-eat night…..-3
    * It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and you r face is painted the colors of your favorite team ¦.-10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS

    * Go with a pal…..0
    * The pal is happily married…..+1
    * The pal is single…..-7
    * He drives a Ferrari…..-10
    * With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)…..-15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER

    * You take her to a movie…..+2
    * You take her to a movie she likes…..+4
    * You take her to a movie you hate…..+6
    * You take her to a movie you like…..-2
    * It’s called Death Cop III…..-3
    * Which features Cyborgs that crush human skulls…..-9
    * You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans…..-15

YOUR PHYSIQUE

    * You develop a noticeable pot belly…..-15
    * You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it…..+10
    * You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts…..-30
    * You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too.”…..-800

THE BIG QUESTION

    * She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
    * You hesitate in responding…..-10
    * You reply, “Where?”…..-35
    * You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”…..-100
    * Any other response…..-20

COMMUNICATION

    * When she wants to talk about a problem:
    * You listen, displaying a concerned expression…..0
    * You listen, for over 30 minutes…..+5
    * You relate to her problem and share a similar experience…..+50
    * Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying, “…well, what do you think I should do?”…..-100
    * You have fallen asleep…..-200

IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH

    * You talk…..-100
    * You don’t talk…..-150
    * You spend time with her……-200
    * You don’t spend time with her…..-500
    * You seem to be enjoying yourself..-1000

GAME OVER. YOU LOSE.

Page Topic: Funny Rules for Guys: How men score points and lose points with women 

(Poems By InnocentEnglish.com)

Just for tonight? 

We’ve been friends for quite a while,
And so far that’s all we’ve been
But we’re both free and it seems to me,
It might be worth a spin.

So if you’re game, just say my name,
And let’s see how things go
And if you’d rather not, I took a shot
But our friendship still can grow.

Something Different?

My love for you just keeps on growing
It’s hard to think of new ways of showing
It seems like it’s all been done before.
So on this day of Valentines
Instead of flowers and instead of wine,
How about a trip to the love toy store?

Roses Are Red

Roses are Red
Violets are blue
So why the hell aren’t they called Blues?
I mean,
That’s really stupid.
It’s false advertising.
And I cannot support it.
So it just doesnt feel right to buy flowers for you
For Valentine’s Day.
But in an attempt to only support
Things that really are the color they are named after,
Here is a Valentine’s orange!
You’re welcome!

Of All the Women I know

On this Valentine’s Day
I wanted to finally tell you,
And I’m sorry it took so long.
Out of all the women I know,
You are most definitely,
And I completely mean this,
You are most definitely,
Without a doubt,
And I have known a LOT of women
In many many many ways
Pretty much EVERY WAY
A man could possibly know a woman
And of ALL those many women I have known
In so so so many ways
Some in more ways than others, of course
And some I’ve hardly known at all
And there are of course a lot of women
I don’t yet know
And some I pray I never meet
But what I wanted to share with you
From my heart,
Hang on- Getting a text message
OK, it was a girl I met at the bar last night
She was a sweet heart
Really cute, great body,
But also really natural and easy to talk with
I don’t think her breasts were natural
But more power to her
But I mean like her personality was like
Really so easy to talk to
Not that we talked much
If you get my meaning
But what I wanted to share with you
On this special Valentine’s Day
is that of all the women I have known,
You are most definitely
One of them.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

On this Special Day

On this special day
I want to confess my love to you.
I should restate that. I mean,
I want to confess my love,
Which is for this girl I met at work,
to you.
 It’s been a secret far too long.
Doesn’t it feel better,
Having the truth out there?
The Surprise

Last week, when I stopped by early,
It was much worse than my fear.
For my best friend’s car was in the front.
And he was in the rear.

p.s. When she said “I can’t wait until you get back”
I thought she meant it figuratively.

Every time your roommate walks in yell, “Hooray! You’re back!” as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, “Shouldn’t you be going somewhere?”

Trash the room when your roommate’s not around. Then leave and wait for your roommate to come back. When he/she does, walk in and act surprised. Say, “Uh-oh, it looks like, THEY, were here again.”

Eat lots of “Lucky Charms.” Pick out all the yellow moons and stockpile them in the closet. If your roommate inquires, explain that visitors are coming, but you can’t say anything more, or you’ll have to face the consequences.

“Drink” a raw egg for breakfast every morning. Explain that you are in training. Eat a dozen donuts every night.

Draw a tiny, black spot on your arm. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, “It’s spreading, it’s spreading.”

Buy a Jack-In-The-Box. Every day, turn the handle until the clown pops out. Scream continuously for twenty minutes.

Hang up pictures of chickens all over the room. If your roommate eats eggs, yell at him/her and call him/her a cannibal.

Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you’re doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, “Soon, soon….”

Keep a tarantula in a jar for three days. Then give away the tarantula. If your roommate asks, say, “Oh, he’s around here somewhere.”

While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.

Cover your bed with a tent. Live inside it for a week. If your roommate asks, explain that “It’s a jungle out there.” Get your roommate to bring you food and water.

Throw darts at a bare wall. All of a sudden, act excited, telling your roommate that you hit the bull’s eye.

Hire a night watchman to guard the room while you are sleeping.

Sit in front of a chess board for hours, saying nothing, doing nothing. Then, look up and say, “I think this game goes a lot faster with two players.”

Collect potato chips that you think look like famous people. Find one that looks like your roommate. Burn it, and explain, “It had to be done.”

Read the phone book out loud and excitedly. (”Frank Johnson! Oh, wow! 837-9494! Holy cow!”)

When you walk into the room, look at your roommate in disgust and yell, “Oh, you’re here!” Walk away yelling and cursing.

Leave memos on your roommate’s bed that say things like, “I know what you did,” and “Don’t think you can fool me.” Sign them in blood.

 Make cue cards for your roommate. Get them out whenever you’d like to have a conversation.

Watch “Psycho” every day for a month. Then act excited every time your roommate goes to take a shower.

Buy a lobster. Pretend to play cards with it. Complain to your roommate that the lobster is making up his own rules.

page topic: how to lose a roommate in 10 days: some great ways to get rid of a bad roommate

Chaka and his Boss 

Chaka got hired by an American dictionary company to help them with their new dictionary for his language.  They had a tight deadline and he was working really long hours.  He was feeling more and more run down, and finally day around lunch he goes into his supervisor’s office and said “Sorry boss. Can’t keep working today. Don’t feel good.”  His supervisor said “You have been working hard. You’re married aren’t you? You know what I do when I’m feeling tired of working? I go buy a single long stem red rose, a bottle of good wine and some fine chocolate.  Then I go home to my wife, and give her a soft sweet kiss on the cheek. Then I start to kiss her neck. Then I lead her over to the couch, put my hand on her knee, and give her a really long, passionate kiss.  And then, well, let’s just say  an hour or two later, I’m feeling great, and ready to come back to work again. Works every time.

So Chaka leaves and a couple of hours later he comes in and he’s got a big smile on his face and he looks much happier and more relaxed.  And his boss said “well, it looks like you took my advice”.  And Chaka said “I sure did. Thanks, boss. I feel a lot better now.  By the way, you have nice house.”
I once dated a girl who was a magician. She put her hand on my leg and I turned into a motel.

The Pharmacist
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl tells him that after dinner, she would like to have sex with him for the first time.

The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacy to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about half an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he’d like to buy a 3-pack, 10-pack or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girls parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. “Oh, I’m so excited for you to meet my parents! Come on in!”

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl’s parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, “I had no idea you were this religious.”

The boy turns, and whispers back, “I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.”
“Hey. Nice earring. How long have you been wearing an earring?” “Ever since my wife found it in the car.”

 The Husband and the Snails

A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for some important guests. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn’t have any snails for the dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket to gather some snails. Very grudgingly he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to the beach. As he was collecting the snails , he noticed a beautiful woman strolling alongside the water just a little further down the beach. He kept thinking to himself, “Wouldn’t it be great if she would even just come down and talk to me?” He went back to gathering the snails.
All of a sudden he looked up, and the beautiful woman was standing right over him. They started talking and she invited him back to her place. They talked for a few hours, and then she kissed him.  He suddenly realized that to stay with her might end his marriage with his beloved wife. Things weren’t exciting anymore, be he did love her.  He apologized, excused himself, grabbed his bucket, and ran down the beach all the way to his apartment. He ran up the stairs of his apartment. He was in such a hurry that when he got to the top of the stairs, he dropped the bucket of snails. There were snails all down the stairs. The door opened just then, with a very angry wife standing in the door way wondering where he’s been all this time. He looked at the snails all down the steps, then he looked at her, then back at the snails and said, “Come on guys, we’re almost there!!”

Page topic: Funny sex jokes, dating jokes and romance and relationship jokes

Seeking rich old men with bad hearts and no relatives.

Bitter, disillusioned SM recently rejected by longtime fiancee seeks decent, reliable woman, If such a thing exists in this cruel world of hatchet faced witches.

OBSESSIVE, COMPULSIVE, NEUROTIC, ANTI-SOCIAL, MANIC and PARANOID, but BASICALLY NORMAL

FOXY LADY:
Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty,
80’s, slim, 5′4″ (used to be 5′6″),
searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion.
Matching white shoes and belt a plus.

LONG-TERM COMMITMENT:
Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, and am looking
for someone to round out a six-unit plot.
Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.

Desperately lonely loser, SWM,32,miserable,apathetic, tired of tv and watching my roomates hair fall out. Seeks depressed, unattractive SWF, 25-32, no sense of humor, for long talks about the macabre.

SERENITY NOW:
I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation.
If you are the silent type, let’s get together,
take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.

Someone just messaged me and let me know that when my profile comes up in the search, it starts with “Fall is coming and I’m not….” *sigh* ain’t it the truth….

Frisky pup seeks some tail. Tired of going in circles. Lets catch up sometime–you can lead the way.

Seeking: Female companionship due to carpal tunnel syndrome.

Break out of the tired old traditional male/female roles. I’ll be the baby seagull and you feed me regurtitated raw fish like a nurturing momma bird. I’ll provide the raw herring and vomit inducer, you bring the strap-on beak. No weirdos, please.

MEMORIES:
I can usually remember Monday through Thursday.
If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let’s put our two heads together.

Your idea of camping is pulling hotel sheets over your head, calling it a tent…

My ideal lot in life would consist of wandering through a pre-industrialized, pre-agriculturalized Earth, eating fruit and squirrels, occaisionally stopping to sleep and hump. I can’t do that, however, because most of the world is now considered someone’s or some government’s property, which if you ask me, is a fantasy. But I guess you didn’t ask me, so forget that I just said (er, wrote) that.”

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, race unimportant. I’m a very good looking girl who LOVES to play, take long walks in the woods, hunting, camping, fishing trips and cozy winter nights by the fire. Really like a man with a pickup truck. A candlelight dinner will have me eating out of your hand. I’ll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. Kiss me and I’m yours.
Call (***) ***-6420 and ask for Daisy.

[Daisy was black labradour retreiver. The Ad was placed by the Atlanta Humane Society. Over 15,000 males responded to the ad.]

And here is a FAKE funny craig’s list roomate wanted ad. The poster, Daniel, said he got many real replies!

1) I have a cat so if you are allergic please don’t inquire. He is a very nice cat named General Tso.
2) I keep the floors extremely clean, so clean that you can eat off of them, which is actually what I do. I have a thing about plates and utensils. I eat 2 well cooked fried eggs off of a small tile in the middle of the living room with chopsticks every evening at 7:15 PM. You cannot touch my chopsticks.
3) My mother stops by twice a week and yells at me for an hour or so and sobs about her only son being gay. I’m actually not gay I just don’t date a lot. She doesn’t get this. She is harmless though but may pinch your cheeks when she see’s you.
7) I sometimes come home reeking of fish. Please don’t ask me about this.
5) I hum a lot, sometimes for hours. It’s not usually loud but if I am in the living room brushing General Tso and I’m humming, it may get to you and you would have to go into your room.

Page topic: Funny want adds: Real online personals and online dating site profiles: Funny dating jokes and funny profiles.

Here are the top 50 reasons it’s great to be a guy.
1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.
3. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
4. You don’t have to monitor your friends’ sex lives.
5. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
6. You can open all your own jars.
7. Dry cleaners and haircutter’s don’t rob you blind.
8. When clicking through the channel, you don’t have to stall on every shot of someone crying.
9. Guys in hockey masks don’t attack you.
10. You don’t have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
11. Your last name stays put.
12. You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
13. You can kill your own food.
14. The garage is all yours.
15. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
16. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
17. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
18. Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.
19. You can write your name in the snow quite a bit faster and more legibly.
20. Chocolate is just another snack.
21. Flowers fix everything.
22. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
23. Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
24. Foreplay is optional.
25. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.
26. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
27. You don’t have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by.
28. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
29. You don’t give a rat’s ass if someone notices your new haircut.
30. You can watch a game in silence with you buddy for hours without even thinking “He must be mad at me”.
31. The world is your urinal.
32. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you.
33. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.
34. Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
35. You don’t have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
36. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
37. If you retain water, it’s in a water bottle.
38. People never glance at your chest when you’re talking to them.
39. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift or food.
40. Bachelor parties kick ass over bridal showers.
41. If you don’t call your buddy when you say you will, he won’t tell you friends you’ve changed.
42. All your orgasms are real.
43. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
44. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you’re not in the mood.
45. If something mechanical didn’t work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.
46. Adult movies are designed with your brain in mind.
47. You don’t have to remember everyone’s birthdays and anniversaries.
48. Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
49. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: “So…notice anything different?”
50. There is always a game on somewhere.

Page topic: 50 reasons it’s great to be a guy | gender jokes, sex jokes, male female jokes  dating jokes

1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2. It is ok for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:

· When a heroic dog dies to save its master.

· The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.

· After wrecking your boss’ car.

· One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into “The Crying Game”.

3. Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5. If you’ve known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy’s fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy’s birthday is strictly optional.

8. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

9. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who is playing.

10. You may be flatulent in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she’s officially your girlfriend.

11. It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you’re sunning on a tropical beach… and it’s delivered by a topless model and only when it’s free.

12. Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

13. Unless you’re in prison, never fight naked.

14. Friends don’t let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

15. If a man’s fly is down, that’s his problem, you didn’t see anything.

16. Women who claim they “love to watch sports” must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

17. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that’s just greedy.

19. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you’d better be talking about his choice of beer.

20. Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she’s withholding sex pending your response.

21. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:

· Yeah, Baby, Push it!

· C’mon, give me one more! Harder!

· Another set and we can hit the showers!

22. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing (i.e. both urinating, both waiting in line, etc.) For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

23. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

24. The morning after you and a girl who was formerly “just a friend” have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you’re feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.

25. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

26. Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

27. The girl who replies to the question “What do you want for Christmas?” with “If you loved me, you’d know what I want!” gets an Xbox. End of story.

28. There is no reason for guys to watch ice skating or men’s gymnastics. Ever.

Page Topic: Rules for women: A Funny List of Rules that Men wish Women Knew

Rules For Women

This is a list of rules that guys wished women knew…

1. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it’s up put it down.

2. Don’t cut your hair. Ever.

3. Don’t make us guess.

4. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

5. Sometimes, he’s not thinking about you. Live with it.

6. He’s never thinking about “The Relationship.”

7. Get rid of your cat. And no, it’s not different, it’s just like every other cat.

8. Dogs are better than cats.

9. Sunday = Sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

10. Shopping is not everybody’s idea of a good time.

11. Anything you wear is fine. Really.

12. You have enough clothes.

13. You have too many shoes.

14. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don’t expect us to like it.

15. Your brother is an idiot.

16. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don’t work.

17. No, he doesn’t know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

18. Share the bathroom

19. Share the closet.

20. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.

21. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

22. Nothing says ‘I love you’ like sex in the morning.

23. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

24. Check your oil.

25. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

26. Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions, and neither do we.

27. If you think you’re getting on the heavy side, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

28. Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We’re bound to miss sometimes.

29. Don’t fake it. We’d rather be ineffective than deceived.

30. If you don’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.

31. Let us ogle. If we don’t look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?

32. Don’t rub the lamp if you don’t want the genie to come out.

33. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done-not both.

34. Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

Page Topic: Rules for women: A Funny List of Rules that Men wish Women Knew