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Top 10 ways to annoy a Telemarketer: A list of the top ways to get back at Telemarketers

I had just sat down to eat a nice dinner with my family when the phone rang. For the last several days I had been waiting for a phone call to tell me if I got a new, higher paying, job or not. In these economic times I could use every penny I could get. Anyways, the phone rang and I immediately jumped up from the table, knocking over my wine glass in the process. Upset, my wife yelled at me and the kids started crying. Ignoring all the commotion, I dashed to the phone and picked up the call….only to find out it was a telemarketer! If only there was a handy list somewhere to get revenge for another interrupted dinner lying around…

10 Ways to Annoy a Telemarketer

10. When they ask “How are you today?” Tell them! “I’m so glad you asked
because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my
arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died…”

9. If they say they’re John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name.
Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located.
Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as
long as necessary.

8. Cry out in surprise, “Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?”
Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she tries to
figure out where she could know you from.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan,
reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, “I don’t have any friends… would
you be my friend?”

6. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and
you could sure use some money.

5. Tell the telemarketer you are on “home incarceration” and ask if they could
bring you a case of beer and some chips

4. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When
they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit
card number to a complete stranger.

3. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will
give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the
telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say “I
guess you don’t want anyone bothering you at home, right?” The telemarketer
will agree and you say, “Now you know how I feel!” Say good by – and Hang up.

2. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. “Come on
Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how’s your mom?”

And first and foremost:

1. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.

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Comments

11 Responses to “Top 10 ways to annoy a Telemarketer: A list of the top ways to get back at Telemarketers””

  1. Ex telemarketer Says:
    December 24th, 2008 at 11:29 am

    Also, change your accent every few minutes and tell them you have multiple personalities.

  2. erin Says:
    January 21st, 2009 at 10:20 pm

    Actually, one time I said, i’m sorry but Santa Clause doesn’t live here, you have the wrong address.

  3. Momma L Says:
    March 6th, 2009 at 9:37 am

    My daughter used to tell them in a baby voice that whoever they called for was her grandma. Then she would tell them Grandma can’t talk right now cause we have her tied up in the attic, and she only gets out on Sundays for church, and could they please meet us there if they want to talk to her. Then she would tell them we went to the Satanic church and since we were witches we now knew who they were and were coming for them right after the goat sacrifice (if they stayed on the line that long)

  4. Ken Says:
    April 21st, 2009 at 3:25 am

    #3 was actually from an episode of Seinfeld.

  5. Angel Says:
    May 1st, 2009 at 7:37 pm

    u forgot to put on there, sing the song that never ends! thats the classic!

  6. tyhall Says:
    June 4th, 2009 at 9:00 am

    i did number 2 and 3 and it is really funny listening to them say all there stuff

  7. Jaz Says:
    July 12th, 2009 at 9:28 pm

    My husband once told one that his wife had just left him after inviting all his relatives over for Thanksgiving. He managed to get the telemarketer to tell him how to cook a turkey.

  8. Abdul Says:
    July 22nd, 2009 at 8:26 am

    #11. Just say ‘ma’m/sir, i am seeking for job. Will you recommend me for your job?’

  9. Rachel Kirkland Says:
    July 22nd, 2009 at 7:12 pm

    Have you ever listen to tom mabe on youtube and what he does to telemarketers?? look it up

  10. Danny Says:
    September 24th, 2009 at 11:55 pm

    hey guys, jus chill..these people are just doin their jobs….Tell ‘em that you arwe not interested and hang up

    If u feel like joking with ‘em, just ask them “where can we meet” (provided the telemarketer is of the opposite sex, of course)..and can we date or somethin !!

  11. niner Says:
    October 3rd, 2009 at 9:16 am

    the local newspaper called and wanted me to get a subscription. in a sad upset irritated voice I told them I couldn’t read or write. the lady didn’t know what to say but that she was sorry and she couldn’t apologize enough she was almost in tears. the paper never called again. It worked for me. good luck!

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