Funny Thanksgiving Song: The Turkey Song:
And here's the CATCHIEST ONE MINUTE SONG You will hear today.
« Previous Page: Lottery Jokes: Jokes about the Lottery | Next Page: Christmas Jokes: Jokes about Christmas »
The top 18 ways to confuse Santa Claus: List of ways to Confuse Santa Claus
Santa Claus, that jerk! The last four Christmases he’s left me nothing but coal in my stocking, and absolutely zilch under the tree! I mean, sure, maybe I shouldn’t have left him that, ahem, present the one Christmas after he gave me Mega Blocks instead of Lego Blocks. I take it Exlax cookies and Ipecac-laced milk don’t go so well together at 30 thousand feet flying a sled at mach 12. Must have been…messy. Maybe next time I should have gone with something less painful and more humorous. At least I didn’t feed the exlax to his reindeer. He’d have really hated me then, flying downwind of them like that.
The top 18 ways to confuse Santa Claus
1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
2. While he’s in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.
3. Leave him a note, explaining that you’ve gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.
4. While he’s in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.
5. Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!
6. Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say “We hate Christmas,” and “Go away Santa”
7. Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home.
8. Set a bear trap at the bottom of the chimney. Wait for Santa to get caught in it, and then explain that you’re sorry, but from a distance, he looked like a bear.
9. While he’s in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn’t have missed that last payment, and take off.
10. Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note that says, “For The Tooth Fairy.” Leave another plate out with half a stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass with a note that says, “For Santa”
11. Take everything out of your house as if it’s just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, “Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime.”
12. Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and corrections.
13. While he’s in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire.
14. Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa’s sure to see them. Go outside, yell, “Ooh! Look! A deer! And he’s got a red nose!” and fire a gun.
15. Leave Santa a note, explaining that you’ve moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.
16. Leave out a Santa suit, with a dry-cleaning bill.
17. Paint “hoof-prints” all over your face and clothes. While he’s in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you’ve been “trampled.” Threaten to sue.
18. Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, “This neighborhood ain’t big enough for the both of us.”
Post Topic: The top 18 ways to confuse Santa Claus
« Previous Page: Lottery Jokes: Jokes about the Lottery | Next Page: Christmas Jokes: Jokes about Christmas »
Cute and Funny Animal Pages
Cute and Funny Kittens
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 2122 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
Lolcats
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 1819 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33
Cute and Funny Puppies
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18Cute and Funny Animals
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 2021 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37
38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53
3 Responses to “The top 18 ways to confuse Santa Claus: List of ways to Confuse Santa Claus””
COMMENT (Not all comments are approved, including rude comments and those with strong language).
Section: Best Funny Jokes
March 12th, 2009 at 10:36 pm
NICE
May 13th, 2009 at 10:19 am
you’re cute. marry me big girl?
May 23rd, 2009 at 2:25 pm
lol