Next: Funny Valentine's Day Poems and Sweet Valentine's Poems >>
Previous: << Crude Pick up lines: Some Rated R, rude, crude and blunt and sexual pickup lines and chat up lines.

Rules for Guys Around Women: How Men Score and Losing Points in the Relationshiop Game

How Scoring works for guys in the relationship game. If you are like most guys,  how well you are scoring with your girlfriend or partner or wife seems to be pretty random sometimes. You haven’t yet quite figured out how the scoring works in the relationship game.  So, here is a quick guide to relationships and scoring. If you follow this guide,  you should see your score go way up.  it also should explain why your score went down at various times.

Much like a credit score, Your relationship score has serious consequences. With a high score, you can sometimes borrow from it, even heavily, without any big problems. For instance, if you have a lot of points accrued, you can probably get away with coming home very late at night, after being out with the boys all night.  You will definitely lose points, but you probably won’t go much below zero for long.  On the other hand, if you already are in the negative points, or are close to zero, there is very little freedom and leeway for you to lose points. It’s much more pressure and less enjoyable. 

So, here’s a points guide to help you see how you are gaining and losing points:

So, in the relationship game, the scoring actually works very simply: Make her happy, you get points. Make her unhappy, you lose points.  Do something she likes, SCORE. Do something she doesn’t like, lose points.  Unfortunately, you don’t get any points for doing nice things that she expects you to do. Because of this, some risky point chasers have found that if they STOP doing things that earn points temporarily, it can increase the point value of things that were previously taken for granted.  Buy her flowers every week, within a year, you don’t get points for that, but you actually lose points if you skip a week.  However, if you seldom buy her flowers, they serve as a quick point booster. particularly if you are planning anythying that could create a point deficit.

 The difficulty can come in trying to discern what will gain points and what will lose. She is a complicated mystery. As are her hormones.

Here is a guide to the points system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

    * You make the bed…..+1
    * You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows…..0
    * You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets…..-1

    * You leave the toilet seat up…..-5
    * You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty…..0
    * When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex…..-1
    * When the Kleenex runs out you use the nex t bathroom…. ; -2
    * You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings…..+5
    * In the snow …..+8
    * But return with beer…..-5
    * And no liners…..-25

    * You check out a suspicious noise at night…..0
    * You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing…..0
    * You check out a suspicious noise and it is something…..+5
    * You pummel it with a six iron…..+10
    * It’s her cat…..-40

AT THE PARTY

    * You stay by her side the entire party…..0
    * You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old drinking buddy…..-2
    * Named Tiffany…..-4
    * Tiffany is a dancer…..-10
    * With breast implants…..-18

HER BIRTHDAY

    * You remember her birthday…..0
    * You buy a card and flowers…..0
    * You take her out to dinner…..0
    * You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar…..+1
    * Okay, it is a sports bar…..-2
    * And it’s all-you-can-eat night…..-3
    * It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and you r face is painted the colors of your favorite team ¦.-10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS

    * Go with a pal…..0
    * The pal is happily married…..+1
    * The pal is single…..-7
    * He drives a Ferrari…..-10
    * With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)…..-15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER

    * You take her to a movie…..+2
    * You take her to a movie she likes…..+4
    * You take her to a movie you hate…..+6
    * You take her to a movie you like…..-2
    * It’s called Death Cop III…..-3
    * Which features Cyborgs that crush human skulls…..-9
    * You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans…..-15

YOUR PHYSIQUE

    * You develop a noticeable pot belly…..-15
    * You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it…..+10
    * You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts…..-30
    * You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too.”…..-800

THE BIG QUESTION

    * She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
    * You hesitate in responding…..-10
    * You reply, “Where?”…..-35
    * You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”…..-100
    * Any other response…..-20

COMMUNICATION

    * When she wants to talk about a problem:
    * You listen, displaying a concerned expression…..0
    * You listen, for over 30 minutes…..+5
    * You relate to her problem and share a similar experience…..+50
    * Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying, “…well, what do you think I should do?”…..-100
    * You have fallen asleep…..-200

IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH

    * You talk…..-100
    * You don’t talk…..-150
    * You spend time with her……-200
    * You don’t spend time with her…..-500
    * You seem to be enjoying yourself..-1000

GAME OVER. YOU LOSE.

Page Topic: Funny Rules for Guys: How men score points and lose points with women 

Next: Funny Valentine's Day Poems and Sweet Valentine's Poems >>
Previous: << Crude Pick up lines: Some Rated R, rude, crude and blunt and sexual pickup lines and chat up lines.

Comments

COMMENT (Not all comments are approved, including rude comments and those with strong language).

Section: Online Dating Jokes

Next: Funny Valentine's Day Poems and Sweet Valentine's Poems >>
Previous: << Crude Pick up lines: Some Rated R, rude, crude and blunt and sexual pickup lines and chat up lines.

Click for privacy policy

All content is © InnocentEnglish.com: Funny Jokes, Signs, Pics, Bloopers, English mistakes and More, 2005-2011, or is in the public domain, or is © by the respective copyright holders. Please contact for prompt removal of any inadvertent © content, with apologies.