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Men and Women Translation Dictionary
Every have trouble understanding what the opposite sex is thinking? This short, handy guide helps you translate what they are saying into what they are meaning. Read it, learn it, and check it out for yourself. You will never misunderstand or have communication problems again.
Translation Dictionary of Women’s English.
* Yes……………………………….No
* No………………………………..Yes
* Maybe……………………………No
* We need………………………….I want
* I am sorry………………………..You’ll be sorry
* We need to talk………………….You’re in trouble
* Sure, go ahead……………………You better not
* Do what you want……………….You will pay for this later
* I am not upset……………………Of course, I am upset, you moron!
* You’re attentive tonight…………Is sex all you ever think about?
Translation Dictionary of men’s English.
* I am hungry………………………I am hungry
* I am sleepy……………………….I am sleepy
* I am tired…………………………I am tired
* Nice dress…………………………Nice cleavage!
* I love you…………………………Let’s have sex now
* I am bored………………………..Do you want to have sex?
* May I have this dance?………………I’d like to have sex with you.
* Can I call you sometime?…………..I’d like to have sex with you.
* Do you want to go to a movie?……I’d like to have sex with you.
* Can I take you out to dinner?……..I’d like to have sex with you.
* I don’t think those shoes go with that outfit…………..I’m gay
And here are a few more funny translations of man-speak: What men say and what they mean:
“I’M GOING FISHING”
Translated: “I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.”
“IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN”
Translated: “I have no idea how it works.”
“I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT’S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND.”
Translated: “I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra.”
“TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU’RE WORKING TOO HARD.”
Translated: “I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.”
“THAT’S INTERESTING, DEAR.”
Translated: “Are you still talking?”
“YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS.”
Translated: “I remember the theme song to ‘F Troop’, the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I’ve ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.”
“I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES.”
Translated: “The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe.”
“HEY, I’VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I’M DOING.”
Translated: “And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.”
“I CAN’T FIND IT.”
Translated: “It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I’m completely clueless”
“WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?”
Translated: “What did you catch me at?”
“I HEARD YOU.”
Translate: Hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don’t spend the next 3 days yelling at me.”
“YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE.”
Translated: “I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse.”
“YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.”
Translated: “Oh, God, please don’t try on one more outfit, I’m starving.”
“I’M NOT LOST … I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.”
Translated: “No one will ever see us alive again.”
“WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK.”
Translated: “I make the messes, she cleans them up.”
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3 Responses to “Men and Women Translation Dictionary””
COMMENT (Not all comments are approved, including rude comments and those with strong language).
Section: Online Dating Jokes
October 5th, 2008 at 1:11 am
Not ALL men are like this…
This is all pretty stupid if you ask me, it makes men look really shallow and stupid. And not ALL men are stupid and shallow
February 3rd, 2009 at 12:24 pm
ahh shut up its abit of fun u plank
April 30th, 2009 at 6:35 pm
hahaa! this is hilarious. you forgot one though…
woman: want to go ice skating with me?
man:yes
translation:
woman: want to let me suck up to you?
man: will your super-hot friend be there?