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Halloween Jokes for kids

Clean Halloween Jokes for kids: Best Funny Jokes for Halloween for Children

Here is a collection of funny Halloween jokes for kids. (OK, a lot of these Halloween one-liners and jokes aren’t actually funny to me. But since everyone has a different sense of humor, we’ll let you decide if they are funny to you. :

FUNNY AND CORNY HALLOWEEN JOKES FOR KIDS
Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?
To improve his bite…

 

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite…

Why do witches use brooms to fly on?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy…

How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
With scare spray…

What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck…

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately…

Why don’t skeletons ever go out on the town?
Because they don’t have any body to go out with…

What do ghosts add to their morning cereal?
Booberries…

What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
Casketball…

What is a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangsgiving…

What would a monster’s psychiatrist be called?
Shrinkenstein…

What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
“Do you believe in people?”

What do you call someone who puts poison in a person’s corn flakes?
A cereal killer…

Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They’re so wrapped up in themselves…

What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
Dead ends…

What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving?
Fasten your sheet belts…

What is a vampire’s favorite mode of transportation?
A blood vessel…

What is a ghost’s favorite mode of transportation?
A scareplane…

What type of dog do vampire’s like the best?
Bloodhounds…

What is a ghoul’s favorite flavor?
Lemon-slime…

What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A stake sandwich…

What is a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument?
A trombone…

What do birds give out on Halloween night?
Tweets…

Why do vampires need mouthwash?
They have bat breath…

What’s a vampire’s favorite fast food?
A guy with very high blood pressure…

Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?
He heard it had great circulation…

Why don’t angry witches ride their brooms?
They’re afraid of flying off the handle

Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body

What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone appetit !

Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
Dayscare centers

Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend

What’s a monster’s favorite play?
Romeo and Ghouliet

What do witches put on their hair?
Scare spray

What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo

What kind of mistakes do spooks make?
Boo boos

What kind of cereal do monsters eat?
Ghost-Toasties

What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack?
Count Duckula

What does Tweety Bird say on Halloween?
Twick or Tweet

Where do spooks water ski?
On Lake Erie

What happened to the guy who didn’t pay his exorcist?
He was repossessed

What does a ghost eat for lunch?
A BOO-logna sandwich

Where do mummies go for a swim?
To the dead sea

What’s the ratio of a pumpkin’s circumference to its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi

Where do ghosts buy their food?
At the ghost-ery store

Where do ghosts mail their letters?
At the ghost office

What’s a ghosts favorite ride at the carnival?
The roller ghoster

How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern?
With a pumpkin patch

When does a skeleton laugh?
When something tickles his funny bone

Why was the mummy so tense?
He was all wound up

Where did the goblin throw the football?
Over the ghoul line

What does a skeleton orders at a restaurant?
Spare ribs

What do goblins mail home while on vacation?
Ghostcards

What is a ghost’s favorite party game?
Hide-and-go-shriek

What do baby ghosts wear on their feet?
Boo-ties!

What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost?
You look boo-tiful tonight

What is a ghost favorite article of clothing?
Boojeans

What does a ghost put on his cereal in the morning?
Boonanas and Booberries

What kind of roads do ghosts haunt?
Dead Ends

Who did the ghost invite to his party?
Anyone he could dig up!

What is a monster’s favorite food?
Ghoul scout cookies

What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle?
I’m bone to be wild!

Why does Dracula consider himself a good artist?
Because he likes to draw blood!

When do gholes cook their victims?
On Fry Day

What’s a vampire’s favorite candy?
A sucker

What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?
Hoblin Goblin

What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?
Ghoul-aid!!!

When does a ghost have breakfast?
In the moaning.

What do ghosts drink at breakfast?
Coffee with scream and sugar.

What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A sand-witch

What do ghosts eat for dinner?
Spookgetti

What’s a ghosts favorite fruit?
Booberries.

What’s a ghosts favorite desert?
Boo-berry pie.

Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
So they can keep their ghoulish figures.

Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch?
At the casketeria.

Why was the ghost such a messy eater?
Because he was always a goblin.

What tops off a ghost’s ice cream sundae?
Whipped scream.

What is a Mummie’s favorite type of music?
Wrap!

What song does Dracula hate?
“You Are My Sunshine”

What type of monster really loves dance music?
The boogieman!

Where does a ghost go on Saturday night?
Anywhere where he can boo-gie.

Why didn’t the skeleton dance at the party?
He had no body to dance with.

What do ghosts say when something is really neat?
Ghoul

What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party?
A boo-tie.

Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?
He didn’t have a haunting license.

Where did the goblin throw the football?
Over the ghoul line.

What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire?
A toasty ghosty.

What kind of makeup do goblins wear?
mas-scare-a

Who was the most famous ghost detective?
Sherlock Moans

Which building does Dracula visit in New York?
The Vampire State Building.

Where do most werewolves live?
Howllywood, California

Where do most goblins live?
North and South Scarolina

What do you call a little monsters parents
mummy and deady

What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon.
sour-puss

What instrument do skellitens play?
Trom-BONE

Why did’t the skelliten cross the road?
He had no guts

Why do vampires scare people?
They are bored to death

How can you tell a vampire likes baseball?
Every night he turns into a bat.

What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.

How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery?
All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.

How does a girl vampire flirt?
She bats her eyes.

Why doesn’t anybody like Dracula?
He has a bat temper.

Who does Dracula get letters from?
His fang club.

Why did Dracula take cold medicine?
To stop his coffin.

How do you keep a monster from biting his nails?
Give him screws.

What can’t you give the headless horseman?
A headache

Why did the headless horseman go into business?
He wanted to get ahead in life.

Where does a ghost go on vacation?
Mali-boo.

What do you call two witches living together?
Broommates.

What do you call a witch’s garage?
A broom closet.

Why does a witch ride a broom?

The Vacuum cleaner’s poweer is cord it too short.

What do they teach in witching school?
Spelling.

Why don’t mummies take vacations?
They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.

Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghouls best friend

Why did the ghost go into the bar?
For the Boos

What kind of dog does Dracula have?
A Bloodhound

What do you give a vampire with a cold?
Coffin Drops!

Why did the vampire quit the baseball team?
They would only let him be BAT boy

Why didn’t Dracula get married?
He never met a nice Ghoul

What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?
Ghoul-aid!!!

What is a Mummie’s favorite type of music?
Wrap!!!!!

Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghouls best friend!

What’s a monster’s favorite bean?
A human bean.

Why can’t the boy ghost have babies?
Because he has a Hallo-weenie.

What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A sand-witch.

Where does a ghost go on Saturday night?
Anywhere where he can boo-gie.

What did the skeleton say to the vampire?
You suck.

What do ghosts say when something is really neat?
Ghoul

Why did the ghost go into the bar?
For the Boos.

Why was the girl afraid of the vampire?
He was all bite and no bark.

Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?
He didn’t have a haunting license.

Why didn’t the skeleton dance at the party?
He had no body to dance with.

Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch?
At the casketeria.

What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
He is mist.

Where did the goblin throw the football?
Over the ghoul line.

Why doesn’t Dracula mind the doctor looking at his throat.
Because of the coffin.

Why is a ghost such a messy eater?
Because he is always a goblin.

What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire?
A toasty ghosty.

Why did the Vampire read the Wall Street Journal?
He heard it had great circulation.

What tops off a ghost’s ice cream sundae?
Whipped scream.

What do you give a skeleton for valentine’s day?
Bone-bones in a heart shaped box.

What are ghosts’ favorite kind of streets?
Dead ends

What is a vampires favorite holiday?
Fangsgiving

What kind of makeup do ghosts wear?
Mas-scare-a

Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To go to the body shop.

What happens when two vampires meet?
It was love at first bite!

Who was the most famous ghost detective?
Sherlock Moans.

What do you call two spiders that just got married?
Newlywebbed

Who was the most famous witch detective?
Warlock Holmes

What did the ghost say to the man at the coffee shop?
Scream or sugar!

Who was the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones.

Who was the most famous French skeleton?
Napoleon bone-apart

Which building does Dracula visit in New York?
The Vampire State Building.

Where do most werewolves live? In howllywood,
California

Where do most goblins live?
In North and South Scarolina

Where does a ghost refuel his porche?
At a ghastly station.

What do Italian’s eat on Halloween?
Fettucinni Afraid-o

Why did the skeleton go disco dancing?
to see the boogy man.

What do witches use in their hair?
scare-spray

What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon.
A sour-puss

What instrument do skeleton play?
Trom-BONE.

What do ghosts eat for breakfast?
Boo-Berries.

Why did’t the skeleton cross the road?
He had no guts.

Why do vampires scare people?
They are bored to death!

How can you tell a vampire likes baseball?
Every night he turns into a bat.

What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.

How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery?
All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.

What songs does Dracula hate?
“You Are My Sunshine” and “Sunshine on my Shoulders.

What did the Mummy movie director say when the final scene was done?
Ok, that’s a wrap.

How does a girl vampire flirt?
She bats her eyes.

What is a vampires least favorite food?
Steak

What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house?
A grave problem.

Why doesn’t anybody like Dracula?
He has a bat temper.

Why did Dracula go to the dentist?
He had a fang-ache.

Why are vampires like false teeth?
They all come out at night.

Who does Dracula get letters from?
His fang club.

What kind of key does a skeleton use?
A skeleton key.

What kind of gum do ghosts chew?
Boo Boo Gum.

Why did Dracula take cold medicine?
To stop his coffin.

Why does Dracula wear patent leather shoes?
Sandals don’t look good with his tuxedo.

How do you keep a monster from biting his nails?
Give him screws.

What can’t you give the headless horseman?
A headache.

Why did the headless horseman go into business?
He wanted to get ahead in life.

What is a ghosts favorite sale?
A white sale.

What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party?
A boo-tie.

What’s a ghosts favorite desert?
Boo-berry pie.

What type of dog does every vampire have?
Bloodhound!

What’s a monsters favorite desert?
I-Scream!!

When does a ghost have breakfast?
In the moaning.

What do ghosts drink at breakfast?
Coffee with scream and sugar.

Where does a ghost go on vacation?
Mali-boo.

Where does a ghost go on Saturday night?
Anywhere where he can boo-gie.

Where did the ghost get it’s hair done?
At the boo-ty shop.

Riddle: the maker does not want, it the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it, what is it?
a coffin.

What do they teach in witching school?
Spelling.

Why does a witch ride a broom?
Vacuum cleaners get stuck at the end of the cord.

What do you call a witch’s garage?
A broom closet.

What do you call two witches living together?
Broommates.


Page topic: Funny Halloween Jokes for kids,  The best clean, silly, funny, corny and stupid halloween jokes for children

Next: List of Top Ten Reasons to go to Work Naked: Top 10 Reasons to Work Naked Joke >>
Previous: << Funny Ghost Jokes for kids: Funny jokes about ghosts for children and school

Comments

2 Responses to “Halloween Jokes for kids””

  1. great funny pictures Says:
    October 28th, 2010 at 7:16 am

    hahaha very nice joke

  2. Chelsea Says:
    October 30th, 2010 at 1:43 pm

    hey what is a vampires favorite holiday?

    Fangsgiving!

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