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Funny Pickup Lines Comebacks

Funny comebacks to stupid, dumb and funny pickup lines.

Here’s some funny responses to have in mind, just in case some guy tries any “clever”, funny or dumb pick up lines on you.

Top pick up line comebacks:

Man: “Haven’t we met before?”
Woman: “Maybe. I’m the receptionist at the VD Clinic.”

Man: “Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: “Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.”

Man: “Is this seat empty?”
Woman: “Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.”

Man: “So, wanna go back to my place ?”
Woman: “Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?”

Man: “Your place or mine?”
Woman: “Both. You go to yours and I’ll go to mine.”

Man: “I’d like to call you. What’s your number?”
Woman: “It’s in the phone book.”
Man: “But I don’t know your name.”
Woman: “That’s in the phone book too.”

Man: “So what do you do for a living?”
Woman: “I’m a female impersonator.”

Man: “Hey, baby, what’s your sign?”
Woman: “Do not Enter”

Man: “How do you like your eggs in the morning?”
Woman: “Unfertilized !”

Man: “Hey, come on, we’re both here at this bar for the same reason”
Woman: “Yeah! Let’s pick up some chicks!”


Man: “I know how to please a woman.”
Woman: “Then please leave me alone.”

Man: “I want to give myself to you.”
Woman: “Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts.”

Man: “If I could see you naked, I’d die happy:
Woman: “Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing”.

Man: “Your body is like a temple.”
Woman: “Sorry, there are no services today.”

Man: “I’d go through anything for you.”
Woman: “Good! Let’s start with your bank account. Then the door.”

Man: “I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: “Yes, but would you stay there?

It’s a good thing I have my library card, because I’m checking you out.
Oh, sorry, I’m reserved for someone else.

This may be the all time most memorable response to a pick up line. From Erin Brockovich, starring Julia Roberts. Remember this scene?

George: Can I get your number?
Erin Brockovich: My number? Which one do you want?
George: How many numbers you got?
Erin Brockovich: Oh, I got numbers comin’ outta my ears. For instance: ten.
George: Ten?
Erin Brockovich: Yeah. That’s how many months old my baby girl is.
George: You got a little girl?
Erin Brockovich: Yeah. Yeah, sexy, huh? How ’bout this for a number? Six. That’s how old my other daughter is, eight is the age of my son, two is how many times I’ve been married - and divorced; sixteen is the number of dollars I have in my bank account. 850-3943. That’s my phone number, and with all the numbers I gave you, I’m guessing zero is the number of times you’re gonna call it!

 

 

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36 Responses to “Funny Pickup Lines Comebacks””

  1. Anonymous Says:
    February 12th, 2008 at 7:55 am

    you stink

  2. Anonymous 2 Says:
    February 21st, 2008 at 6:23 pm

    I agree. U guys need better jokes

  3. Anonymous Says:
    March 6th, 2008 at 3:54 am

    i like the one with the phonebook

  4. Anonymous 3 Says:
    March 6th, 2008 at 4:08 am

    there ok, they cood b a lot betta though but u need more … that r bout different stuff 2…

  5. Anonymous Says:
    March 8th, 2008 at 10:07 pm

    here’s one:
    man: if i could rearrange that alphabet, i’d put U and I togethor.
    woman: really? because i’d put F and U

  6. denise Says:
    March 10th, 2008 at 9:13 am

    all of these rock i love them good on ya

  7. BOW CHICKA WOW WOW Says:
    March 10th, 2008 at 5:52 pm

    ive seen betta, these r crap,
    p.s- hicktown iowa rox!!

  8. Anonymous Says:
    March 11th, 2008 at 5:41 am

    These are alright i guess I’ve seen funnier.

  9. Jenna Mae Says:
    March 17th, 2008 at 5:26 pm

    Boy:hey baby how bout a number or two and i call you
    Girl:ok here is my number…… 2

    Boy: no i ment ur phone number

    Girl: ummm ya i dont think so

  10. chariot Says:
    March 26th, 2008 at 10:05 pm

    cute

  11. courtney Says:
    April 4th, 2008 at 9:50 am

    love it.

  12. bo Says:
    April 9th, 2008 at 2:38 pm

    boy-”why don’t you sit down on my lap and we can talk about the first thing that pops up!”

    girl-well that should be a SHORT conversation…

  13. Sydney Says:
    April 27th, 2008 at 7:39 pm

    boy: i think i’ve died and gone to heaven cause i’m lookin’ at an angel!
    girl: really? i wished i could have died and gone to hell the moment you walked in!

    girl: hey cutie, want to hang out?
    boy: i.. uh… i’m gay *COUGHCOUGH*

  14. Siobhan Says:
    May 2nd, 2008 at 1:04 am

    LOL

    Guy: guess what I…..
    Girl: *cuts him off* Sorry you must have me confused with somebody who cares

  15. Sean Says:
    May 22nd, 2008 at 7:30 pm

    man, did you guyz fart cuz ur blowin me away! lol

  16. bob Says:
    May 23rd, 2008 at 4:25 pm

    this is the funniest website ever

  17. Anonymous Says:
    June 5th, 2008 at 11:35 am

    funny

  18. OMG Says:
    June 16th, 2008 at 5:05 pm

    kinda lame there could have been better but theyre ok

  19. natasha Says:
    July 22nd, 2008 at 5:09 pm

    Do you know any funny comeback to ever annoying ‘You are so beautiful’?

  20. Ruby Rabbit Says:
    August 22nd, 2008 at 8:31 am

    These were great. I like them

  21. albbb;] Says:
    September 21st, 2008 at 1:54 pm

    you can kinda tell that a girl made these.
    because their all making guys look stupid.
    yeah, i am a girl, but jeez, you could have at least evened it out.:)
    bite on them apples;]

  22. jj lyfe Says:
    October 10th, 2008 at 6:36 pm

    man yo momma so ugly the mirror broke be4 she got there

  23. chica honey Says:
    October 10th, 2008 at 9:12 pm

    cute.. but kinda lame

  24. sydney Says:
    October 11th, 2008 at 7:22 am

    Male:do you got a 5 dollars cos i have a foot long
    female:that is so not worth 5 dollars

    male:do you work for AT&T cos your raising my bars
    female:sorry out of service today

  25. william Says:
    October 15th, 2008 at 2:26 pm

    there is no i in team but there is a me

  26. sexyyass Says:
    November 4th, 2008 at 9:42 am

    ok girls, this ones for you, a guy asks you to dance, dance with him. Then if hes a sleezball, and he asks you or hints you that he wants to bang, say no, nd then say “i only danced wit you to see if pigs could talk”

  27. sexybaby Says:
    November 11th, 2008 at 12:08 pm

    wow… these are great… some of these have been stupid pickup lines that have beenused on me… lol love the phonebook one…

  28. chontelle Says:
    November 20th, 2008 at 3:45 am

    hi your jokes rock!!!

  29. Anonymous Says:
    December 10th, 2008 at 4:30 pm

    hey these r hilarious!!

  30. Anonymous Says:
    December 10th, 2008 at 8:01 pm

    guy: hey do you wanna dance?

    girl: no

    guy: come on, lower your standards a bit, i did.

  31. Edward_cullen_lover Says:
    January 20th, 2009 at 4:58 pm

    HAHA i guess theres funnier but some of these r hilarious.

  32. Anonymous Says:
    January 25th, 2009 at 3:56 pm

    These Totally Cracked me Up!

  33. Anonymous Says:
    April 7th, 2009 at 10:51 pm

    umm….that stinked. get some better jokes…

  34. Денис Милюков Says:
    May 20th, 2009 at 9:57 pm

    Что-то мне кажется, на вашем сайте развелось слишком много так называемых говн*комментатров, которым лишь бы ляпнуть чего-нибудь:)

  35. Ashleyy Says:
    June 1st, 2009 at 8:59 pm

    Man: Were have you been my hole life?
    Woman: Hiding from you.

  36. valerie Says:
    June 8th, 2009 at 4:36 pm

    they were ok!! i think the coments were better!!

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