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Funny Pickup Lines Comebacks
Funny comebacks to stupid, dumb and funny pickup lines.
Here’s some funny responses to have in mind, just in case some guy tries any “clever”, funny or dumb pick up lines on you.
Top pick up line comebacks:
Man: “Haven’t we met before?”
Woman: “Maybe. I’m the receptionist at the VD Clinic.”
Man: “Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
Woman: “Yeah, that’s why I don’t go there anymore.”
Man: “Is this seat empty?”
Woman: “Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.”
Man: “So, wanna go back to my place ?”
Woman: “Well, I don’t know. Will two people fit under a rock?”
Man: “Your place or mine?”
Woman: “Both. You go to yours and I’ll go to mine.”
Man: “I’d like to call you. What’s your number?”
Woman: “It’s in the phone book.”
Man: “But I don’t know your name.”
Woman: “That’s in the phone book too.”
Man: “So what do you do for a living?”
Woman: “I’m a female impersonator.”
Man: “Hey, baby, what’s your sign?”
Woman: “Do not Enter”
Man: “How do you like your eggs in the morning?”
Woman: “Unfertilized !”
Man: “Hey, come on, we’re both here at this bar for the same reason”
Woman: “Yeah! Let’s pick up some chicks!”
Man: “I know how to please a woman.”
Woman: “Then please leave me alone.”
Man: “I want to give myself to you.”
Woman: “Sorry, I don’t accept cheap gifts.”
Man: “If I could see you naked, I’d die happy:
Woman: “Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I’d probably die laughing”.
Man: “Your body is like a temple.”
Woman: “Sorry, there are no services today.”
Man: “I’d go through anything for you.”
Woman: “Good! Let’s start with your bank account. Then the door.”
Man: “I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: “Yes, but would you stay there?
It’s a good thing I have my library card, because I’m checking you out.
Oh, sorry, I’m reserved for someone else.
This may be the all time most memorable response to a pick up line. From Erin Brockovich, starring Julia Roberts. Remember this scene?
George: Can I get your number?
Erin Brockovich: My number? Which one do you want?
George: How many numbers you got?
Erin Brockovich: Oh, I got numbers comin’ outta my ears. For instance: ten.
George: Ten?
Erin Brockovich: Yeah. That’s how many months old my baby girl is.
George: You got a little girl?
Erin Brockovich: Yeah. Yeah, sexy, huh? How ’bout this for a number? Six. That’s how old my other daughter is, eight is the age of my son, two is how many times I’ve been married – and divorced; sixteen is the number of dollars I have in my bank account. 850-3943. That’s my phone number, and with all the numbers I gave you, I’m guessing zero is the number of times you’re gonna call it!
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42 Responses to “Funny Pickup Lines Comebacks””
COMMENT (Not all comments are approved, including rude comments and those with strong language).
Section: Best Funny Jokes, Online Dating Jokes, Stupid, Funny Quotes, Questions & Sayings, pickup lines
February 12th, 2008 at 7:55 am
you stink
February 21st, 2008 at 6:23 pm
I agree. U guys need better jokes
March 6th, 2008 at 3:54 am
i like the one with the phonebook
March 6th, 2008 at 4:08 am
there ok, they cood b a lot betta though but u need more … that r bout different stuff 2…
March 8th, 2008 at 10:07 pm
here’s one:
man: if i could rearrange that alphabet, i’d put U and I togethor.
woman: really? because i’d put F and U
March 10th, 2008 at 9:13 am
all of these rock i love them good on ya
March 10th, 2008 at 5:52 pm
ive seen betta, these r crap,
p.s- hicktown iowa rox!!
March 11th, 2008 at 5:41 am
These are alright i guess I’ve seen funnier.
March 17th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
Boy:hey baby how bout a number or two and i call you
Girl:ok here is my number…… 2
Boy: no i ment ur phone number
Girl: ummm ya i dont think so
March 26th, 2008 at 10:05 pm
cute
April 4th, 2008 at 9:50 am
love it.
April 9th, 2008 at 2:38 pm
boy-”why don’t you sit down on my lap and we can talk about the first thing that pops up!”
girl-well that should be a SHORT conversation…
April 27th, 2008 at 7:39 pm
boy: i think i’ve died and gone to heaven cause i’m lookin’ at an angel!
girl: really? i wished i could have died and gone to hell the moment you walked in!
girl: hey cutie, want to hang out?
boy: i.. uh… i’m gay *COUGHCOUGH*
May 2nd, 2008 at 1:04 am
LOL
Guy: guess what I…..
Girl: *cuts him off* Sorry you must have me confused with somebody who cares
May 22nd, 2008 at 7:30 pm
man, did you guyz fart cuz ur blowin me away! lol
May 23rd, 2008 at 4:25 pm
this is the funniest website ever
June 5th, 2008 at 11:35 am
funny
June 16th, 2008 at 5:05 pm
kinda lame there could have been better but theyre ok
July 22nd, 2008 at 5:09 pm
Do you know any funny comeback to ever annoying ‘You are so beautiful’?
August 22nd, 2008 at 8:31 am
These were great. I like them
September 21st, 2008 at 1:54 pm
you can kinda tell that a girl made these.
because their all making guys look stupid.
yeah, i am a girl, but jeez, you could have at least evened it out.:)
bite on them apples;]
October 10th, 2008 at 6:36 pm
man yo momma so ugly the mirror broke be4 she got there
October 10th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
cute.. but kinda lame
October 11th, 2008 at 7:22 am
Male:do you got a 5 dollars cos i have a foot long
female:that is so not worth 5 dollars
male:do you work for AT&T cos your raising my bars
female:sorry out of service today
October 15th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
there is no i in team but there is a me
November 4th, 2008 at 9:42 am
ok girls, this ones for you, a guy asks you to dance, dance with him. Then if hes a sleezball, and he asks you or hints you that he wants to bang, say no, nd then say “i only danced wit you to see if pigs could talk”
November 11th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
wow… these are great… some of these have been stupid pickup lines that have beenused on me… lol love the phonebook one…
November 20th, 2008 at 3:45 am
hi your jokes rock!!!
December 10th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
hey these r hilarious!!
December 10th, 2008 at 8:01 pm
guy: hey do you wanna dance?
girl: no
guy: come on, lower your standards a bit, i did.
January 20th, 2009 at 4:58 pm
HAHA i guess theres funnier but some of these r hilarious.
January 25th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
These Totally Cracked me Up!
April 7th, 2009 at 10:51 pm
umm….that stinked. get some better jokes…
April 13th, 2009 at 4:16 pm
i love you
May 20th, 2009 at 9:57 pm
Что-то мне кажется, на вашем сайте развелось слишком много так называемых говн*комментатров, которым лишь бы ляпнуть чего-нибудь:)
June 1st, 2009 at 8:59 pm
Man: Were have you been my hole life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
June 8th, 2009 at 4:36 pm
they were ok!! i think the coments were better!!
July 6th, 2009 at 11:22 am
No affence but ther crapp. Noooo wayy would i ever sayy anyy of these as a comeback – ther really really bad. And i havee seen these sum where else so yhuu aint even made um up – yhuu copied um! anywayy i bett yhuur a nice person soo dontt take anyy of thiss personalyyy coz i dont mean 2 affend, but takke me advice and dontt ever sayy any of thesse in publicc – EVER xx
July 18th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
well these are kinda boring……butt hey dont get me wrong sum are kinda funny for example.
boy:”is this seat empty?”
girl:Yes. and this one will be too if u sit down.
see that wasn’t so bad but you guys need to put a lil more effort into your work cuz thats just embarrisng…..love you always
July 18th, 2009 at 12:33 pm
well these are kinda boring……butt hey don’t get me wrong sum are kinda funny for example.
boy:”is this seat empty?”
girl:Yes. and this one will be too if u sit down.
see that wasn’t so bad but you guys need to put a little more effort into your work because that’s just emberrising…..love you always
July 25th, 2009 at 9:30 am
these cracked me up u need some more to keep me laughin but keep it up cus it was funny
September 30th, 2009 at 10:22 pm
Are you a ninja? Cause your ass is kickin’!