Today's Funny Sign: October 7, 2008:
Today's Funny Sign
Classic Funny English Sections:
Funny English From Around The World
Funny English Bloopers Too Close To Home

« Previous Page: Funny Universal Truths  |  Next Page: More really bad puns: Here are some more funny puns and not so funny puns »

Funny Job Application: Real McDonald’s Job Application

 Here is an actual McDonald’s Application. Nothing was changed except the name of the applicant, Greg Bulmash, whose name was changed to John Smith to protect his anonymity.

McDONALDS APPLICATION

This is an actual job application a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald’s fast-food establishment in Florida – and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: John Smith
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I were in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I’m worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?
Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS? Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?
I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?
I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?
On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?
Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?
Yes – Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.

Page topic: Funny Job Application: Real McDonalds Job Application
 



« Previous Page: Funny Universal Truths  |  Next Page: More really bad puns: Here are some more funny puns and not so funny puns »

18 Responses to “Funny Job Application: Real McDonald’s Job Application””

  1. Whitney Says:
    February 13th, 2008 at 8:32 am

    is he stupid

  2. ... Says:
    February 18th, 2008 at 6:15 am

    no you are

  3. brett Says:
    February 22nd, 2008 at 7:52 am

    lol

  4. uknowme Says:
    February 25th, 2008 at 12:40 pm

    That’s funny LOL~what a werido~

  5. tay Says:
    March 2nd, 2008 at 11:29 am

    omfg.
    funnnyy

  6. chll51 Says:
    March 8th, 2008 at 11:26 pm

    this guy is absolutely hilarious :D

  7. valentina Says:
    March 12th, 2008 at 12:54 pm

    ..lmao..wow and he got hired after that

  8. D Says:
    March 15th, 2008 at 9:48 pm

    Very funny, but I don’t believe he was hired.

  9. William Says:
    March 20th, 2008 at 10:48 pm

    actually he was i lived in that area.

  10. William Says:
    March 20th, 2008 at 10:49 pm

    my uncle was the manager of that very store and i have seen the application in question, in fact the guy who applied is my friend

  11. HA! Says:
    March 24th, 2008 at 6:36 pm

    this is the funniest joke ever!

  12. Larry Says:
    April 9th, 2008 at 12:07 pm

    Loved it!

    Larry
    DamnIneedAjob.com

  13. Rachel Says:
    April 12th, 2008 at 4:17 pm

    Lmao my favorite part was when it said sign here and he put aries xD

  14. dylan Says:
    April 23rd, 2008 at 11:04 am

    ill try that on my next app

  15. Anonymous Says:
    April 25th, 2008 at 8:54 am

    rtfg;gdf

  16. zoe Says:
    May 22nd, 2008 at 4:20 pm

    lol that is so funny thats the kinda funny guy i would consider dating lol i like wise guys lol

  17. Funny Stuff Says:
    August 20th, 2008 at 1:44 am

    This is lol funny because of three things

    3. The Funniest part was the great way you protected Greg Bulmash’s Identity

    2. Most People Missed the “Sign Here” Part

    and the number 1 reason

    1. He Got Hired

  18. Justin Says:
    September 22nd, 2008 at 10:56 am

    The sad thing is that will probably be my application once I turn 16…

COMMENT (Not all comments are approved, including rude comments and those with strong language).

Section: Best Funny Jokes

All content is © InnocentEnglish.com: Funny Jokes, Signs, Pics, Bloopers, English mistakes and More, 2004-2008, or is in the public domain, or is © by the respective copyright holders. Please contact for prompt removal of any inadvertent © content, with apologies.
Sitemap

Visitors since 2005: