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Funny Job Application: Real McDonald’s Job Application
Here is an actual McDonald’s Application. Nothing was changed except the name of the applicant, Greg Bulmash, whose name was changed to John Smith to protect his anonymity.
McDONALDS APPLICATION
This is an actual job application a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald’s fast-food establishment in Florida – and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: John Smith
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I were in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I’m worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?
Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS? Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?
I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?
I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?
On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?
Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?
Yes – Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.
Page topic: Funny Job Application: Real McDonalds Job Application
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18 Responses to “Funny Job Application: Real McDonald’s Job Application””
COMMENT (Not all comments are approved, including rude comments and those with strong language).
Section: Best Funny Jokes
February 13th, 2008 at 8:32 am
is he stupid
February 18th, 2008 at 6:15 am
no you are
February 22nd, 2008 at 7:52 am
lol
February 25th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
That’s funny LOL~what a werido~
March 2nd, 2008 at 11:29 am
omfg.
funnnyy
March 8th, 2008 at 11:26 pm
this guy is absolutely hilarious :D
March 12th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
..lmao..wow and he got hired after that
March 15th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
Very funny, but I don’t believe he was hired.
March 20th, 2008 at 10:48 pm
actually he was i lived in that area.
March 20th, 2008 at 10:49 pm
my uncle was the manager of that very store and i have seen the application in question, in fact the guy who applied is my friend
March 24th, 2008 at 6:36 pm
this is the funniest joke ever!
April 9th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Loved it!
Larry
DamnIneedAjob.com
April 12th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
Lmao my favorite part was when it said sign here and he put aries xD
April 23rd, 2008 at 11:04 am
ill try that on my next app
April 25th, 2008 at 8:54 am
rtfg;gdf
May 22nd, 2008 at 4:20 pm
lol that is so funny thats the kinda funny guy i would consider dating lol i like wise guys lol
August 20th, 2008 at 1:44 am
This is lol funny because of three things
3. The Funniest part was the great way you protected Greg Bulmash’s Identity
2. Most People Missed the “Sign Here” Part
and the number 1 reason
1. He Got Hired
September 22nd, 2008 at 10:56 am
The sad thing is that will probably be my application once I turn 16…