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Short Jokes
Here are some funny short jokes
I once wrote a book called How to Keep an Idiot Entertained for Hours. It went like this: To keep an idiot entertained for hours, read the next sentence. To keep an idiot entertained for hours, read the previous sentence.” It didn’t sell very well. I thought with the short attention span of people these days it may have been too long, so I rewrote it. The 2nd edition went: “To keep an idiot busy for hours, re-read this sentence.” It’s doing pretty good. I have a deal for the sequel. The 3rd edition is going to go: “Re-read this line.” Trouble is, I’m not as sharp as I used to be, so it’s become my favorite book to curl up with on a rainy day. It absorbs me for hours.
What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia!
What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?
A rash of good luck.
What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?
Her New Jersey.
A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, “I have some good news and some bad news.”
The man says, “OK, give me the good news first.”
The doctor says, “The good news is, you have 24 hours to live.”
The man replies, “Oh no! If that’s the good news, then what’s the bad news?”
The doctor says, “The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday.”
Did you hear about the new French tank?
Yeah, it has 14 gears. 13 go in reverse, and one goes forward in case the enemy attacks from behind.
A French fry walks into the bar and says to the bartender “Hey , could I get a beer please?”
The bartender looks at him shaking his head and say “No, we don’t serve food here”
Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it’s important.
“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage, we take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.”
Page Topic: Short jokes
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20 Responses to “Short Jokes””
COMMENT (Not all comments are approved, including rude comments and those with strong language).
Section: Clean Funny Jokes: Some of the Best Good Clean Jokes
March 12th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
lalala
April 8th, 2008 at 6:18 am
awesome…
July 18th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
wooooo this web is awsome dude will you please make a box so you can make your own jokes please
July 18th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
yea that would be pretty cool good idea
July 18th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
please will you make your own box so people can make there own jokes ooh ive got a joke. what time did a man go to the dentist to have his tooth pulled out…answer…..a.tooth hurty. ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaa pretty gud uuuuuuh
October 2nd, 2009 at 7:42 pm
hehehe………….no
December 29th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
those are really good.Oh And I agree with the ANONYMOUS person above us. You need help!
December 29th, 2009 at 4:33 pm
oh and we are sorry if we insulted you….
But the truth hurts some times. This is one of those times…
December 29th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
I’ve enjoyed leaving comments for people all over the world. I woul like to say HI to some other kid outside of the US… So Hi.
December 29th, 2009 at 4:36 pm
yeah I’ll hush now.
Bye-Bye
December 29th, 2009 at 4:38 pm
no offense person with lame joke.
December 29th, 2009 at 11:45 pm
i agree with anonymous person above us. dude you need help! but you’re not weird you are simply unique!
March 24th, 2010 at 2:19 pm
Ja,ja,ja that´sso funny
April 18th, 2010 at 5:37 am
those jokes are very funny to me!! thats why everyone gets to laugh alright
April 18th, 2010 at 1:25 pm
10k’s a lot is really funny
May 4th, 2010 at 11:27 pm
hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!
The jokes areso funny for me …….. like this:A French fry walks into the bar and says to the bartender “Hey , could I get a beer please?”
The bartender looks at him shaking his head and say “No, we don’t serve food here”
:)
November 26th, 2010 at 8:51 pm
you guys are a couple of nut jobs
December 30th, 2010 at 1:18 am
i have a cell phone app called jd’jokes and most jokes on this web site are on it i think somebody is steeling these jokes and takeing credit for them just to lt u guys know
February 11th, 2011 at 5:59 pm
very funny,I love them,good job!!!!!!
February 21st, 2011 at 9:08 am
lol!!!! Great Jokes! Thank you guys!