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Dumb Blonde Jokes

Here are some pretty funny blonde jokes. If they are over your head, don’t dye.

A young woman said to her doctor, “You have to help me, I hurt all over.”
“What do you mean?” said the doctor.
The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, “Ow, that hurts.” Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, “Ouch! That hurts, too.” Then she touched her right earlobe. “Ow, even THAT hurts.”
The doctor asked the woman, “Are you a natural blonde?”
“Why yes,” she said.
“I thought so,” said the doctor… “You have a sprained finger.”

A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.
Thinking this was a little strange; he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin,
“For best results, put on two coats”.

A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license.
The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can’t find it. She says to the cop, “I must have left it at home officer.”
The cop says, “Well, do you have any kind of identification?” The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror.
She looks at it and says to the cop, “All I have is this picture of myself.” The cop says, “Let me see it, then.” So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, “Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn’t have even pulled you over. You can go now.”

A blonde was walking her dogs when a man walking in the opposite direction says “Oh my, you have such beautiful dogs. What are their names?”
The blonde replies “Well, the taller one is Timex and the shorter one is Rolex.”
The man responds “Huh, that’s interesting. Why did you name them such names?”
The blonde sighs and shakes her head “Everyone keeps asking me the same thing… duhh, what else would you name your watch dogs?”

A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,
“You know, it’s the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer.”

A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided she would look like a brunette.
When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought,
“Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!”
She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,
“If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?”
The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.
The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, “157.”
The farmer was amazed – she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.
Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said.
“If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?”

On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor. He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.
The blonde asked, “How am I supposed to know when I’m at 300 feet?”
“That’s a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground.”
After pondering his answer, she asked, “What happens if there’s no one there I know?”

Page Topic: Dumb Blonde Jokes

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14 Responses to “Dumb Blonde Jokes””

1. boundaries Says:
   February 4th, 2008 at 10:33 am

   Say these words fast

   Im
   We
   Todd
   Did
   Real
   fun
   Kin
   We
   Todd
   Did

2. valerie cabrea Says:
   May 17th, 2008 at 5:11 pm

   The only reasons brunettes hang out with blondes is so they “look smarter”

3. Anonymous Says:
   July 1st, 2008 at 6:07 pm

   oookkkkk these jokes are just for fun. duhhhhhh!!!

4. Julie Says:
   July 10th, 2008 at 6:40 am

   well that one giant lie. im a naturel blonde, and i get over 97’s in math and i ace school, and im not even close to a nerd. Bet you cant get higher than an 83. Dumb ASs

5. cheyenne lavii Says:
   July 30th, 2008 at 3:38 pm

   the blonde jokes (not dunb blonde) are better and u guys dont have to take this so seriously! theyre called JOKES??? duh!??!?!

6. Star Says:
   August 1st, 2008 at 3:17 am

   A blonde was at the hairdressers with a set of headphones on. The person cutting her hair removed them amd she fell down dead. The hairdresser picked up the headset and listened to it. “Breath in, breath out”.

7. rieley Says:
   September 30th, 2008 at 8:32 am

   my cousin is a blonde she is not to dumb but she thought gram was grahm

8. bob Says:
   September 30th, 2008 at 8:33 am

   lolzzzzz these are so FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!

9. emo child Says:
   November 30th, 2008 at 1:11 pm

   i prefere it when ppl take the p*ss out of other ppl instead of me. i no they r only jokes but i’m wid julie on this one. But being me i find most jokes funny they were realy lol! worthy.

10. cheyenne lavii Says:
    February 19th, 2009 at 1:02 am

    calm down you guys

11. Charlie Says:
    April 28th, 2009 at 4:02 pm

    It’s not Fair to say Brunettes hang around with blonds to make them look smarter. I have a brunette Friend that is very stupid. She knows she is too. and she hangs around with blonds because she’s friends with them. Get a grip on reality love.

12. bitters Says:
    May 31st, 2009 at 11:36 pm

    stop taking the jokes and $#!- so srsly!!!!!

13. brenna Says:
    August 21st, 2009 at 9:52 pm

    my best freind is a blonde and nobody says shes dumb but dumb blonde jokes r just joes people dont take it seriosly becuz its not rite just forget all about some of the comments

14. Dawn Says:
    October 28th, 2009 at 10:16 am

    ok these are for ffun so DON’T take them SERIOUSLY! ok? gees well i love these jokes they make me laugh and that is all they are for!

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Section: Clean Funny Jokes: Some of the Best Good Clean Jokes