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The Best Jokes in the World


According to several comedians, as compiled by GQ magazine

Okay, so it’s impossible to objectively choose the funniest jokes ever. Although there was a scientific study on the topic, which produced these jokes as the funniest jokes in the world. The list below was compiled with imput from several comedians, and first appeared in GQ magazine. These were selected as the funniest jokes in the world, the best jokes of all time, by these comedians.

I failed my driver’s test. The guy asked me “what do you do at a red light?” I said, I don’t know… look around, listen to the radio… (Bill Braudis).

China has a population of a billion people. One billion. That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you. (A. Whitney Brown)

If I ever have twins, I’d use one for parts. (Steven Wright)

A lawyer dies and goes to Heaven. “There must be some mistake,” the lawyer argues. “I’m too young to die. I’m only fifty five.” “Fifty five?” says Saint Peter. “No, according to out calculations, you’re eighty two.” “How’s you get that?” the lawyer asks. Answers St. Peter: “We added up your time sheets.”

Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers around their necks and a hat on their antlers. Because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot. (Ellen Degeneres)

Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. “I’ll go into town for a doctor,” the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the town’s only doctor, who is delivering a baby. “I can’t leave,” the doctor says. ‘But here’s what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground.” The guy ruins back to his friend, who is in agony. ‘What did the doctor say?” the victim asks. “He says you’re gonna die.”

My wife and I took out life insurance policies on each other — so now it’s just a waiting game. (Bill Dwyer)

I can’t think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they’re dead. (Laura Kightlinger)

Mario Andretti has retired from race car driving. That’s a good thing. He’s getting old. He ran his entire last race with his left blinker on. (Jon Stewart)

After 12 years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes.. He said, “No hablo ingles.” (Ronnie Shakes)

Two Irish guys are fishing. The first guy reels in his line and sees that he’s snagged an old bottle. As he’s taking it off the hook, a genie pops out and promises to grant him one wish. “Turn the lake into beer,” he says. The genie goes “Poof!” and the lake turns into beer. He says to the other guy, “So what do you think?” The other guy says, “You jerk. Now we’ve got to piss in the boat.”

A Catholic teenager goes to confession, and after confessing to an affair with a girl is told by the priest that he can’t be forgiven unless he reveals who the girl is. “I promised not to tell!” he says. “Was it Mary Patricia, the butcher’s daughter?” the preist asks. “No, and I said I wouldn’t tell.” “Was it Mary Elizabeth, the printer’s daughter?” “No, and I still won’t tell!” ‘Was it Mary Francis, the baker’s daughter?” “No,” says the boy. ‘Well, son,” says the priest, “I have no choice but to excommunicate you for six months.” Outside, the boy’s friends ask what happened. “Well,” he says, “I got six months, but three good leads.”

I bought a box of animal crackers and it said on it “Do not eat if seal is broken.” So I opened up the box, and sure enough… (Brian Kiley)

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Page Topic: Best Jokes in the World

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Comments

150 Responses to “The Best Jokes in the World””

  1. Owen Schooley Says:
    February 2nd, 2008 at 2:09 pm

    those jokes were bloody brilliant, speccially the one with those Irish blokes.

  2. blrc peter Says:
    May 1st, 2008 at 9:13 am

    man these jokes are smashingly funny. keep’em coming.

  3. got-laid-4-2-hours Says:
    May 12th, 2008 at 8:08 pm

    wow,those are pretty dang funny. I enjoyed those a ton! Not as much as what happened to me last night. But still, those were absolutely phenominal, i know how that kid who lost his virginity feels, and thats what makes that joke so funny!

  4. karen Says:
    May 15th, 2008 at 2:31 am

    hi these jks r so NOT funny

    at least try 2 find sum good FUNNY jks!

    kind regards Karen!

  5. karen Says:
    May 15th, 2008 at 2:31 am

    i luv ed those jks!

  6. Anonymous Says:
    June 2nd, 2008 at 9:35 am

    rubbish

  7. jvbjsdfksbvnkfsdbvkfdn Says:
    June 11th, 2008 at 10:56 am

    knock knock
    whos there?
    docter
    docter who?
    hey you said my name!how did you knew that?

  8. Rev'd Dennis Says:
    June 28th, 2008 at 12:06 am

    I had a good giggle at them.

  9. adam black Says:
    August 9th, 2008 at 1:00 pm

    you rock

  10. taz Says:
    August 11th, 2008 at 3:34 pm

    i thought those were funny! especially ellen degenrous’s

  11. paggitha Says:
    September 7th, 2008 at 6:34 pm

    smashing! i enjoyed every piece! will use them often!

  12. Anonymous Says:
    September 23rd, 2008 at 2:17 am

    these suck

  13. LolGasm neko Says:
    September 26th, 2008 at 10:58 am

    Lol, the one about the animal crackers was funny.

  14. Anonymous Says:
    October 14th, 2008 at 11:56 am

    why is it hard to play cards in the jungle?

    because theres too many cheaters!!!!!!!!!

  15. Beckky Says:
    December 16th, 2008 at 2:54 pm

    Lol, the irish one was a good un, that cracked me up :L

  16. martin Says:
    December 17th, 2008 at 12:56 pm

    Meh, the best of them got a smirk from me

  17. Princess209 Says:
    December 28th, 2008 at 9:53 pm

    Man those aint even funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! u guys need to getta life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  18. Roxy Says:
    December 28th, 2008 at 9:54 pm

    there not funny

  19. Michael Says:
    January 8th, 2009 at 11:56 am

    What can travel around the world. but stays in one corner?

    A stamp=] , Don’t get it? get off the drugs ‘-.-

  20. arg Says:
    January 15th, 2009 at 5:21 pm

    CHEETAS DON’T LIVE IN THE JUNGLE!!!!! And those jokes were rubbish.

  21. joker Says:
    February 1st, 2009 at 6:41 pm

    the snake one was pretty funny…Ellen’s was CRAP!!!

  22. Amnesia Says:
    February 4th, 2009 at 7:36 pm

    SO RIDICULOUS!!!

  23. Anonymous Says:
    February 7th, 2009 at 1:53 pm

    i did not get any of them!

  24. liana lee Says:
    February 23rd, 2009 at 5:09 am

    wow…………

  25. jordana Says:
    March 12th, 2009 at 1:07 pm

    these are way funny i love the jungle one so who ever is saying there rubbish their wrong how do you keep a idiot waiting ILL TELL YOU LATER LOL i love them

  26. anthony Says:
    March 25th, 2009 at 9:12 pm

    not funny

  27. The Funny Dude Says:
    April 20th, 2009 at 4:13 am

    the only funny one was with the 2 campers that was good but the others were rubbish. i mean who came up with those terrible terrible jokes.Heres a good one.
    3 Men Are standing in court after they were arrested at a lake.The judge asked the first man what he was doing and the man replied”i was throwing peanuts in the lake”.The judge says ok u didnt do anything wrong.The judge asks the second guy what he did wrong and the man replies”I was throwing peanuts in the lake as well”the judge just smiles and says u did nothing wrong either.The Judge asks the third guy if he was throwing peanuts in the lake as well and the man replies”No Mam i Am Peanuts”

  28. prof.max Says:
    April 20th, 2009 at 8:23 am

    what is funny about these jokes?they are just 100% b sh*t i can even do better than them

  29. Uma Maheswar Nakka Says:
    April 24th, 2009 at 12:55 pm

    Not very humorous.There are still better jokes.
    Apologies for writting the truth

    Regards
    Uma Maheswar Nakka

  30. wit Says:
    April 27th, 2009 at 10:57 pm

    are there any humans out there or is it just you semi literate monkeys

  31. Jaida Says:
    April 28th, 2009 at 3:49 am

    so funny

    then he waddled bupbup til the very next day

  32. matty Says:
    May 2nd, 2009 at 1:24 am

    really bad jokes

  33. anon Says:
    May 2nd, 2009 at 2:17 am

    lol some where hilerous i went and told them to every1 lol but get some shorteer ones.

  34. Frank Woodley Says:
    May 2nd, 2009 at 6:03 am

    terrible they were meant to be BEST JOKES IN THE WORLD not WORST JOKES IN THE WORLD ive done jokes 200% better when I was 4 you need to try better

  35. Anonymous Says:
    May 7th, 2009 at 1:49 pm

    Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!”

    The other says, “Go home dad you’re drunk.”

  36. j Says:
    May 23rd, 2009 at 3:39 pm

    hi

  37. j Says:
    May 23rd, 2009 at 3:39 pm

    you’re not bad

  38. emily Says:
    May 27th, 2009 at 2:48 am

    Those jokes weren’t that funny….. jeeesh

  39. Demi Says:
    July 3rd, 2009 at 3:22 pm

    Not very funny. I thought the one with the two campers was alright coz it reminded me of something a friend of mine would say but they’re not that good to be honest.

  40. whatever Says:
    August 19th, 2009 at 2:39 am

    Those jokes were awful. the only good one was the 2 campers and i already heard that 1.
    Here’s a long but good joke:

    A man in his 40s bought a new BMW and was out driving on the interstate at top speed when he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. “There’s no way they can catch a BMW,” he thought to himself and sped up even more. Then the reality of the situation hit him, “What the heck am I doing?” he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word, and examined it and the car. “It’s been a long day, it is the end of my shift, and it’s Friday the 13th. I don’t feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven’t heard before, you can go.” The guy thinks for a second and says, “Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back.”

  41. nonya buisness Says:
    September 16th, 2009 at 4:09 pm

    hello i agree these jokes are lame go on the internet and find some.

  42. Garry Says:
    September 22nd, 2009 at 5:18 am

    These jokes are the worst i have ever heard

  43. Yes thanks Says:
    September 22nd, 2009 at 6:38 am

    I cant say i found them that great but comedy is completely individual and very bias of said person sense of humour im hell i could be german they never get jokes.

    But that was just an example. Not a true fact.

  44. joey27 Says:
    September 25th, 2009 at 3:22 am

    these r lame and old

  45. Anonymous Says:
    September 26th, 2009 at 2:54 pm

    very funny….NOT

  46. i got a funny joke Says:
    September 29th, 2009 at 12:22 am

    i got a funny joke

    knock knock

    whos there

    the interupting cow

    the inturupting….

    moooo

  47. Anonymous Says:
    October 7th, 2009 at 12:40 pm

    stinks

  48. Anonymous Says:
    October 19th, 2009 at 3:38 am

    wow these jokes are good man….but you know what? you need some more that actually makes sense and not like and yeah and so on…u no wut i mean? yeah that’s cool

  49. Mouin Says:
    October 21st, 2009 at 7:05 pm

    We have much better jokes in Lebanon about Abu Al Abed and Homssis of Damascus

  50. Anonymous Says:
    October 27th, 2009 at 8:58 am

    not funny 1 but

  51. Anonymous Says:
    October 29th, 2009 at 4:25 pm

    There was a new life gaurd working on the beach, he was doing great on his first day, but he only had one problem, he is terrified os sharks. So he asks one of the other workers on the beach if there was any sharks around here, and he says no they are all gone now. Releived he goes into the water and swims about twenty feet away from shore. Then he shouts to the worker and asks how did you get rid of all of them? The worker says we didn’t the aligator got em’.

  52. out of joks Says:
    October 30th, 2009 at 8:37 pm

    Tell me Jordana comment 25

  53. Anonymous Says:
    November 15th, 2009 at 1:55 pm

    Bad Jokes:
    Q. Who can drive all their customers away, and still make money?
    A. A taxi driver!
    Q. The more you have, the less you see. What is it?
    A. Darkness
    Q. The more you take, the more you leave behind. What is it?
    A. Footprints

  54. CODERVERSION1.0 Says:
    November 21st, 2009 at 3:39 pm

    Makes me cry these rae the best ones.. Whats wrong with u all

  55. Amy Brewer Says:
    November 22nd, 2009 at 1:16 am

    Whatever’s joke about the man and his new BMW was the funniest joke on here!! I actually laughed, and it was the only one I laughed at. Good job Whatever!!!!!!

  56. mitchell ou Says:
    December 14th, 2009 at 6:12 pm

    how do u wake up Lady GaGa

    you Poke Her Face
    ____ ____

  57. Anonymous Says:
    December 17th, 2009 at 8:51 am

    hey there were 3 funny 1′s
    the alagater ate the sharks one, the bmw one, and the camper 1. I laughd at those

  58. dandev Says:
    December 24th, 2009 at 5:59 am

    they should be voted the worst jokes in the world

  59. serioulwy Says:
    December 25th, 2009 at 12:13 am

    fail

  60. A n A Says:
    December 26th, 2009 at 8:58 pm

    there are 2 muffins sat in an oven, one muffin says to the other “wow its hot in here” & the other muffin reply’s ” OMG A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ” if u dont like tht joke heres another………….
    two bears just finished eating a clown one says to the other ‘did he taste funny to u???’

  61. sunit de menace Says:
    January 9th, 2010 at 6:34 am

    NOT FUNNY AT ALL………(

  62. Papa Smurf Says:
    January 18th, 2010 at 10:50 pm

    I don’t understand the catholic at confession, can someone explain it please?

  63. Mike Hunt Says:
    January 21st, 2010 at 1:55 pm

    Lame Lame Lame!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  64. Samuel ngwira Says:
    January 21st, 2010 at 2:36 pm

    Lovely jokes indeed

  65. MSKUMAR........... Says:
    February 2nd, 2010 at 2:14 pm

    A teacher was reading d story of Chicken Little 2 her class. At 1 part where Chicken Little tried 2 warn d farmer. She read “nd so Chicken Little went upto d farmer nd said, ‘d sky’s falling,d sky’s falling!’”d teacher paused then asked d class”And what do u think that farmer said?”.1 little girl raised her hand nd s…aid, “I think he said:”Holy crap! A talking chicken!”d teacher was unable to teach 4 d next 10mins!

  66. MSKUMAR........... Says:
    February 2nd, 2010 at 2:17 pm

    Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.”Why?” asks the father.”The teacher asked, ‘How much is 2×3,’ ” I said “6″, replies TONY.”But that’s right !” says his dad.”Yeah, but then she asked me “How much is 3×2 ?”"What’s the damn stupid difference ?” asks the father.Tony-”That’s what I said !

  67. joe Says:
    February 8th, 2010 at 4:53 pm

    these are the best jokes ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kool!!!!!!

  68. Ajay Prasad Says:
    February 10th, 2010 at 9:39 am

    these are the lamest jokes in the entire world. I am sorry dude.

  69. Anonymous Says:
    February 13th, 2010 at 11:55 pm

    lol

  70. erry Says:
    February 17th, 2010 at 5:33 pm

    condoms ain’t always safe…a friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus

  71. NICK Says:
    March 6th, 2010 at 2:43 am

    DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I FORGOT TO LAUGH”@#%$

  72. Anonymous Says:
    March 11th, 2010 at 9:18 am

    these jokes are awfull!!!

  73. killer Says:
    March 17th, 2010 at 7:12 pm

    u guys
    into jokes

  74. killer Says:
    March 17th, 2010 at 7:12 pm

    lets kickass

  75. wait... whut? Says:
    March 27th, 2010 at 3:05 pm

    I didn’t understand the catholic church one

  76. Sarah Says:
    April 2nd, 2010 at 7:25 pm

    These jokes are hilarious..i love them

  77. Chris Says:
    April 5th, 2010 at 4:25 pm

    I would have NEVER thought of any of these jokes at all! lol. Keep them coming fellaws :D

  78. angam Says:
    April 15th, 2010 at 7:21 am

    People can really be fun, Love them!!!LOL

  79. Anonymous Says:
    April 24th, 2010 at 6:22 am

    ha ha funny song dude i gota pea i gota pea i found some pea in the garden befor. LOL!!! ROFL!!!!

  80. Chris Walledge Says:
    April 27th, 2010 at 4:35 am

    My Australian girl-friend gave me a boomerang for a pesent – I’ll never throw it away!

    “Doctor, I keep thinking I’m Jewish”.
    “Don’t worry – It’s just a psycho-semitic problem”

    I’d give my right arm to be ambidexterous!

    We danced in the moonlight. I only had eyes for her. She only had eyes for me. We fell over a cliff!

  81. Pravin Says:
    May 4th, 2010 at 12:48 pm

    Very very good jokes !!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Someday i intend to read it :)

  82. tim Says:
    May 9th, 2010 at 2:38 pm

    great jokes what about tis one:
    what’s better than God, the poor have it, and the rich dont want it?
    answer: nothing
    thers nothin better than God ,the poor have nothin and the rich don’t want nothin lol……..

  83. ?????? Says:
    June 1st, 2010 at 11:19 pm

    yeah man i didn’t find these jokes funny u got 2 get better 1′s man

  84. arkaraj Says:
    June 8th, 2010 at 9:31 am

    man those jokes are dam funny

  85. Anonymous Says:
    June 10th, 2010 at 12:52 am

    all lame… sorry!

  86. moemoe Says:
    June 14th, 2010 at 11:48 pm

    the were terrible

  87. asdfasdf Says:
    June 16th, 2010 at 4:41 pm

    they were ok
    not perfect

  88. mario Says:
    June 22nd, 2010 at 3:10 pm

    :-’ o

  89. hassan aamir Says:
    June 23rd, 2010 at 12:07 pm

    these jokes were great. They cracked me up.
    I mean my stomache still hurts from all those jokes
    including the irish one.im gonna vis every day

  90. Jim Says:
    June 24th, 2010 at 2:53 pm

    These were intelectual(sp?) jokes.
    Anyone who didn’t get them or didn’t find them funny are the ones who enjoy the crude and racist jokes of today.

  91. ******* Says:
    July 1st, 2010 at 3:59 pm

    man thease are so dam funny ha ha ha !!!!!!!!!!

  92. cristiano ronaldo Says:
    August 3rd, 2010 at 4:25 am

    lol the 1 with the truck was good

  93. lol Says:
    August 10th, 2010 at 4:49 pm

    they suck

  94. Siddhesh Says:
    August 13th, 2010 at 9:59 pm

    boorrrinnggg……….they are not at all funny……

  95. jakes Says:
    August 30th, 2010 at 2:26 pm

    most boring jokes in the world

  96. King Says:
    September 3rd, 2010 at 7:29 am

    I like it but its not that funny really!!

  97. Anonymous Says:
    September 6th, 2010 at 8:22 am

    Ther not funny like……..

  98. Anonymous Says:
    September 8th, 2010 at 6:41 am

    boring

  99. Kevin Lee Says:
    September 22nd, 2010 at 6:46 am

    Mate, these were hilarious, especially the one about “What do you do at red light!”
    Anyone who didnt like them is either smoking too much dope or brain-dead and didnt understand..
    YOu fellas game me plenty of material so here’s one for you..
    A drunk sidles up to a man who is looking under the bonnet of his car in the street outside a bar.
    “Whash the matter, mate?” he asks.
    “Its piston broke,” says the driver.
    “Yeah?” replies the drunk. “Me too.”

  100. ""£"" Says:
    September 23rd, 2010 at 5:15 am

    Man yhuu people are all sad. Yhuu have crap jokes and no lives.

  101. MrIchewstraws Says:
    September 26th, 2010 at 8:29 am

    I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather.

    Not screaming in terror like his passengers.

  102. Anonymous Says:
    September 27th, 2010 at 9:25 am

    its the best

  103. Talha Turk Says:
    September 28th, 2010 at 3:15 pm

    They’re all good but I’ve got another one WHY DON’T SEAGULLS FLY BY THE BAY

    Answer:BECAUSE THEN THEY’D BE CALLED BAYGULLS

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  104. reggie jackson Says:
    October 8th, 2010 at 4:18 pm

    The little boy who got an F in math was funny. Here’s a good one. How do you know when you are too drunk to drive? When you swerve to miss a tree then realize it was your airfreshener.

    A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he’d found a cat but it was dead. “how did you know the cat was dead?” she asked him. “Because I pised in it’s ear and it didn’t move.” answered the child innocently. “You did WHAT!!”The teacher exclaimed in surprise. “you know.” explained the boy. ” I leaned over and went ‘Pssst!’ and it didn’t move.”

  105. reggie jackson Says:
    October 8th, 2010 at 4:28 pm

    THE BEER PRAYER
    Our Lager, Which art in barrels,
    Hallowed be thy fame.
    Thy will be drunk, I will be drunk,
    At home, as it is in bars.
    Give us this day our foamy head,
    And forgive us our spillage,
    As we forgive those who spill against us.
    And lead us not to incarceration,
    But deliver us from hangovers. For thine is the ale, the pilsner, and the lager,
    Forever and ever.
    - AMEN -

    3 tortoises, Mick, Alan & Les, decide 2 go on a picnic.
    So Mick packs the picnic basket with beer & sandwiches.
    The trouble is the picnic site is 10 miles away so it takes them ten days 2 get there.
    When they get there Mick unpacks the food & beer. ‘Ok Les give me the bottle opener, ‘I didn’t bring it’ says Les. ‘I thought u packed it’.
    Mick gets worried, he turns 2 Alan, ‘Did u bring the bottle opener?? Naturally Alan didn’t bring it. So they’re stuck 10 miles from home without a bottle opener.
    Mick & Alan beg Les 2 go back 4 it. But he refuses as he says they will eat all the sandwiches. After 2 hours, & after they have sworn on their tortoise lives that they will not eat the sandwiches, he finally agrees. So Les sets off down the road at a steady pace.
    20 days pass & he still isn’t back & Mick & Alan r starving, but a promise is a promise.
    Another 5 days & he still isn’t back, but a promise is a promise. Finally they can’t take it any longer so they take out a sandwich each, & just as they are about to eat it, Les pops up from behind a rock and shouts……..
    ‘I KNEW IT’……I’M NOT FREAKING GOING!!

  106. reggie jackson Says:
    October 8th, 2010 at 4:34 pm

    A lil boy, who wanted $100.00, prayed 4 2 weeks but nothin happened. He decided 2 write GOD a letter requesting $100.00. When d postal workers received d letter 2 GOD, U.S.A., they sent it 2 d President. D President was so impressed, he instructed his secretary 2 send d boy $5.00. Mr. President thought this wud appear 2 b a lot of money. D lil boy was delighted wit d $5.00 & sat down 2 write a thank u note 2 GOD dat read: “Dear God, Thank u very much 4 d money. However, I noticed 4 sum reason u had 2 send it thru Washington, D.C., &, as usual, those devil’s deducted $95.00.

    Lil’ Nancy was n da garden filling n a hole when her neighbor peered over da fence. He politely asked, “What r u up 2 there, Nancy?”
    “My goldfish died,” replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, “& I’ve just buried him.”
    Da neighbor was concerned, “That’s an awfully big hole 4 a goldfish, isn’t it?”
    Nancy patted down da last heap of earth & then replied, “That’s because he’s inside ur stupid cat.”

  107. reggie jackson Says:
    October 8th, 2010 at 4:42 pm

    Here’s a really funny one.

    Language Barrier
    An Asian man walked into da currency exchange in New York with 2000 Japanese yen & walked out with $72.
    The following week, he walked n with 2000 yen, & was handed $66. He asked da teller y he got less money than da previous week.
    The teller said, “Fluct-u-ations.”
    The Asian man stormed out, & just before slamming da door, turned around & shouted, “Fluc u Amelicans, too!”

  108. coleen Says:
    October 19th, 2010 at 2:19 am

    weird…
    non-sense…
    not funny…
    even i don’t understand!!!
    hahaha…:)
    LOL

  109. Anonomous Says:
    October 24th, 2010 at 9:15 am

    I have a few good jokes but I was wondering are you able to submit any I know it’s kind of a stupid question but I just want to know please reply! :3

  110. someone Says:
    November 1st, 2010 at 7:15 pm

    its alright not the best in the world.

  111. someone Says:
    November 1st, 2010 at 7:22 pm

    i got one
    why didn’t the skeloten cross the road?

    he didn’t have any guts

    knock knock

    whos there

    interupting cheeze

    interupting…

    CHEEZE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  112. Jack Says:
    November 5th, 2010 at 9:40 pm

    These suck

  113. jhahnavi Says:
    November 13th, 2010 at 6:19 am

    i feel most jokes jokes r worst so keep them also

  114. austin Says:
    November 17th, 2010 at 9:11 am

    this is the worst jokes EVER, i got what they meant but they sucked horribly. the beer prayer was my fav, i go to church every Sunday and they say that prayer, not the beer 1 of course:).The language barrier was ok, the BMW 1 was great, the camper 1 was ok 2, but most of these were really dreadful, like watching a 1920′s silent film with an organ playing in the back ground, this is like listening to George bush doing stand up comedy and him joking about the soldiers who died in Iraq, not funny…

  115. Anonymous Says:
    November 20th, 2010 at 5:39 pm

    haha the joke about the wee boy and the cat is sooo funny lol. XD

  116. MUSIC RULES Says:
    November 27th, 2010 at 4:46 pm

    i have a good one.

    a egg and a sausage in a frying pan. the sausage says to the egg “Oh it’s hot in here!” and the egg says “Ahhh…a talking sausage…”

  117. MUSIC RULES Says:
    November 27th, 2010 at 4:52 pm

    those jokes are alright, i guess. But this one is better:

    What did the cloth say to the water?

    I’m going to wipe the floor with you!

    That wasn’t really better, but hey! I don’t care1

  118. MUSIC RULES Says:
    November 27th, 2010 at 4:56 pm

    this one is awesome!!

    “Doctor Doctor! I think I’m a pair of cutains!” a man shouted.

    The docctor said “Pull yourself together man!”

  119. Anonymous Says:
    November 30th, 2010 at 10:25 pm

    Guess what…. Chickenbutt!

  120. MUSIC RULES Says:
    December 2nd, 2010 at 10:47 am

    i love the one about the animal crackers – the seal is broken! ha!

  121. MUSIC RULES Says:
    December 2nd, 2010 at 10:54 am

    “Look, we all have to do this” The man said.
    “Really? I don’t see why!” Said the woman.
    “WE HAVE TO!” He said.
    “Fine!” She said.

    Then they reluctantly ate the man’s mother’s potato salad.

  122. MUSIC RULES Says:
    December 2nd, 2010 at 10:58 am

    you could of put a fewr more jokes oin there! like this one:

    Why did the chicken go over the bridge?

    (You prob think that it is ‘to get to the other side’ but my version is WAY better!)

    To sole his bacbacbacproblems…okay that was terrible…

  123. crazy! haha Says:
    December 4th, 2010 at 3:34 pm

    i love these jokes! i went into hospital with a laughing attack yesterday when i read them!

    NOT! they are terrible!

    get some better ones will you? thanksQ

  124. Andy Says:
    December 6th, 2010 at 6:02 pm

    worst jokes iv ever seen

  125. sall Says:
    December 14th, 2010 at 10:49 am

    these are the worst ever! why even bother putting them on? you are really stupid people whoever came up with these. IDIOTS!!!!!!!!!!

  126. Anonymous Says:
    December 15th, 2010 at 2:27 am

    pliz get beta jks

  127. kato Says:
    December 15th, 2010 at 10:16 am

    these r the worst not best. i was lokin 4 sumfin gd 2 laf at. u idots!

  128. ben Says:
    December 16th, 2010 at 12:10 pm

    These are the worst jokes i have ever read infact they are just staments. I thought these were gonna be funny

  129. kitten lover Says:
    December 23rd, 2010 at 9:50 am

    did u no that most of the jokes on here r RUBISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  130. im not sure Says:
    December 25th, 2010 at 9:08 pm

    theese jokes r kinda funny. but the english… like gramar wasn’t so good. it wuz funny jokes.

  131. joseph Says:
    January 1st, 2011 at 9:46 pm

    theise dont even sound like jokes thats sad

  132. Isabel Says:
    January 27th, 2011 at 8:53 am

    These jokes are extremely LAME!!!!!

  133. bling bling gun Says:
    January 31st, 2011 at 3:15 pm

    I thourt tht astins was rubish i mean i dont even get it

    so ive got two or three jokes

    why r stairs called stairs? a: coz thy stair alot!

    Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!”
    The other says, “Go home dad you’re drunk.”

    Two fish in a tank
    One turns to the other and says “Do you know how to drive this?”

    Which day of the week do fish hate?…….
    Fry-Day

  134. Chris 817 Says:
    February 2nd, 2011 at 3:42 am

    Q. What is a pirates favorite letter? A. Rrrgh—-you think its the r bit its realy the sea

  135. Sex Says:
    February 7th, 2011 at 5:55 pm

    some of them are pretty good, but some kinda suck. Anyway, they aren’t the funniest jokes ever, but some are good.

  136. little princess Says:
    February 10th, 2011 at 4:20 am

    this is crapppppp!!!!!!!!

  137. Hi IQ Says:
    February 18th, 2011 at 5:43 am

    There is only one good joke and the rest are for people with a snails IQ

  138. anonymous Says:
    February 18th, 2011 at 8:32 am

    fairly funny

  139. Anonymous Says:
    February 25th, 2011 at 1:44 pm

    you should go on britans got talent with them jokes like

  140. Big Dick Says:
    February 27th, 2011 at 3:52 pm

    what’s brown and sticky?

    A stick

  141. Anonymous Says:
    March 1st, 2011 at 11:28 pm

    Those jokes suck here’s an alright one. During the cold war america spent over 12 million dollars to make a pen that can write upside down in space and on differant material You know what the Russians used, a pencil. Chuck Norris can fall up chuck Norris counted to infinity, twice. The dinosaurs pissed chuck Norris off, once Chuck Norris whent to mars that’s why there’s no life. Chuck norris sleeps with a night light on not because chuck Norris is afraid of the dark but because the dark is afraid off chuck Norris.

  142. Anonymous Says:
    March 2nd, 2011 at 10:35 am

    What is funny on these jokes..too short lines
    try to make a long line for a better joke
    but it is nice

  143. kimberly Says:
    March 14th, 2011 at 6:34 pm

    i love there all jokes!

  144. tom Says:
    March 15th, 2011 at 3:31 pm

    what load of rubbish.you should here this. Why did the chicken cross the playground?. to get to the other slide!

  145. bubba Says:
    April 6th, 2011 at 7:35 pm

    Well, these jokes are not exactly the best jokes in the world. In MY opinion, there are no best jokes because evrybody has different taste in jokes. what someone finds Hilariously funnny can actually be dead annoying to someone else.
    Great site though. Keep ‘em coming!
    -BUBBA

  146. THIS SUCKS Says:
    April 6th, 2011 at 9:11 pm

    They all sucked

  147. emmanuel nyoni Says:
    April 9th, 2011 at 4:11 pm

    they where all cool,keep writing guys.

  148. peter Says:
    May 11th, 2011 at 6:47 pm

    these jokes are fricking retarded

  149. Karen Says:
    July 3rd, 2011 at 12:20 pm

    These jokes are okay. But would you guys please stop saying that you don’t like them. People worked hard to come up with these!

  150. Angelo Says:
    July 3rd, 2011 at 12:22 pm

    Karen i totally agree. i hope people listen to you. peter, ur comment was just so not nice.

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